H4 Run #1611: The Leather and Lace Run

Hares: Pearl Necklace and Vanilla Starfish

Pull the Plug’s pictures from the Leather and Lace Hash can be viewed by clicking above. Pictures from the On On On can be viewed here, thanks to Platterpuss.

The always entertaining, and never boring Leather and Lace Run was upon us. Who would show up in their best “bedroom” attire to sway the votes of the hares Vanilla Starfish and Pearl Necklace, and the hash as to who is “best dressed”? Our run began at an Elementary School over in Friendswood. The pack slowly started showing up around 3pm after the extreme amount of traffic on I-45, or for the fact that Rustic Ln. wasn’t marked with a sign. Hooter Bill, who arrived early, went back out to the street and made an arrow so as the rest of the pack would realize where to turn. He managed to save about 6-8 people! Way to go Hooter!

Chalk talk was brief and funny since Vanilla Starfish could not bend over for fear of showing off her “Vanilla Starfish”. As we had several New Boots and Visitors, she had to make sure they were well educated for this ever so hard trail! Two trails were offered. The Leather trail for those that didn’t care if they got all torn up on trail and a Lace trail for those who didn’t want to damage their lace!

On On we went around the school and found first marks just down Rustic Lane. Soon we took a left into some shiggy and ran along a little creek till we came out into an open field. We soon saw a check on the other side of the bayou and prepared to get wet. So across we went and up onto a very LONG stretch of grass that ran along the ditch. After about 2 miles of running on the grass behind the homes, along that same ditch, we finally found marks that led to a street. Down the street we went till it dead ended and across the road we went. We found marks on the next road that lasted every bit of another 2 miles…..on STRAIGHT road! Geesh!!

Father Syphalis, who was in town, somehow ended up behind those of us in the back of the back. It was lucky for us because it was one more person to help us figure out the checks. After being on the road from hell, we lost marks. After much checking along roads in 3 different directions, finally Deep Black Hole noticed marks in the trees! Go figure! We had been looking at marks on the ground the entire trail, and we just got too tired after that two mile straight road (LOL) to think to look in the trees. So trail was found again and ON ON we went. We hit another check shortly after finding trail in a playground. There were some girls playing and they asked if we were with those other “funny looking” people that were running….cause we didn’t look like them…they were dressed funny! We told them yes and they pointed the direction the group went and helped us out of a check!

We ran through a neighborhood and soon found ourselves running in a concrete ditch in between rows of houses. Then the ever thankful BN was found and we rejoiced. As soon as I went into the yard of our hosts (Pearl’s friends) I grabbed a cup and immediately went for the good stuff….LONE PINT BEER!! Ahhh….much happier and taking off my cold, wet shoes, I grabbed my drinking vessel out of my bad along with my sweatshirt just as circle was starting up.

Okay, so there were a LOT of hashers for this entertaining event! I would guess close to 70? We had several new boots and out of towners. They were all introduced in the circle, which I have to add, was one of the BEST ever since being with the Houston Hash! Mama’s Boy seriously did a fantastic job!

Accusations were somewhat crazy! Most of course had something to do with what hashers wore or the crazy trail! Being that GladHeAteHer and Two Holes were back in town (YEAH!!) they entertained us well! Lorna Dunes was called into the circle, for what, I can’t tell you. All I remember is that GladHeAteHer went out to stand next to her with that crazy Hair Hat he had on that was almost identical to Lorna’s hair. The circle, mostly laughing their asses off, probably couldn’t tell you what the accusation was either.

Likker in the Front, Poke Her in the Rear (I bite my arm when I cum)….or however the hell you’ve decided to spell it….was called into the circle for his leather “get up” and comment that was written on his abs that read “Sexy Bitch”. Mama’s Boy took the can of whipped cream that was provided and sprayed a line under the marking. In his best move ever, he called Two Holes into the circle (who was sporting a pink robe at the time) to come in and help out. MB said that being his name was Likker in the Front, he felt someone should “lick” him. So Two Holes ripped off her robe and leaned over to lick him! Somewhere in the middle of all that, she ran off and fell on her ass and ate it pretty bad….but being the true hasher she is, came back and did her duty and licked him good!

So the time came that the hares awarded our best dressed hashers of the day. Mama’s Boy called all the females into the circle that had dressed up. The hares narrowed it down to 2 females, one of them being a guest from California, Deep Chocolate. Being that she was dressed to the “nines”, she was chosen as the winner and given an awesome “Sexy Bitch” shirt provided by the hares.

Next came the males. Okay, so this is when it just got OUT OF CONTROL! The two top males were LHITF, PHITR……and Rub My Buns from California. Okay, so Rub My Buns won….it was a little pornographic! Thank G he wore the kilt during the run. What was he wearing you ask? Well lets see, Ass-less Chaps with a Thong at the start. By the end when he removed his kilt, the Thong was gone and we got a glance of what most would say “his complete package”! Shirts were awarded to both and the kilt was basically forced back on him!

After all the wonderful Lone Pint beer was drunk, the fun of the best circle ever was over, the ON ON ON headed to a local dive called “Cheers”. I have to admit, it was one of the funnier days I’ve had in a long time. On a day that a good laugh was needed….a good laugh your scribe got!

Great job to the hares! ON ON to next year’s Leather and Lace Run!

On On,

8″ Crack