H4 Run #1621: Nurse’s Day Hash

Hares:  Pimp Doggy Dog, adiposity Cumoniwannalaya, capsule Pipes, Butt Pirate and Klosit Phreek

It was a gorgeous day for a run, Mother’s Day. The 4 o’clock start gave us more time to spend with our dear ol’ mums. The hares, our local nurses Pimp Doggy Dog, Cumoniwannalaya, Pipes, Butt Pirate and Klosit Phreek, were in rare form… or maybe not so rare.

There we are at the start across from the zoo awaiting chalk talk, and here cums Klosit Phreek with her special swine flu inoculation “shots”, wearing the sexiest nurse’s uniform I’ve ever seen, including 10 inch white pumps and a nurse’s hat. Everyone partook in her yummy jello shots and penicillin shots of Hypnotiq. Hearts warmed knowing that we were getting the best possible care and TLC from our beloved nurses.

Pimp Doggy Dog and Cumoniwannalaya laid what promised to be a non PI trail, and what a trail it was. We were off, running through Hermann Park, over the tiny railroad tracks, between picnicking families, some amused, some giving us the stink-eye. After a couple of checks and falses, we made our way to the Med Center, in and out of hospital entrances, parking garages, turnstiles, and back alleys where the doctors and nurses do God-knows-what. I even heard rumors of a long stairway to nowhere, and a back check from hell planted on the bayou.

The group I ended up running with had not seen chalk in forever. We ran blindly down and around Main St. for a while until we saw hashers in the distance, and low and behold, it was Hooter Bill and Estrus. We hooked a left towards the bayou, looking for some sign of flour or chalk markings… nothing. We stumbled upon the walkers, and tried to get them to throw us a bone since they had the map. They wouldn’t budge. From the heavens come a group of hashers pointing us in the right direction, so we took off down the bayou trail. And the angels sang! Go towards the light! BEER NEAR… and we see the nurses ahead.

We were welcomed by Pimp Doggy Dog and Cumoniwannalaya, who were armed with the decontamination unit to sterilize the hashers… STAT. Tasty snacks and yellow beer awaited us after our 3 mile journey of pounding the pavement.

We finally circled up with the usual birthdays, anniversaries and mildly amusing accusations, including plenty of accusations for the hares. Grind Slut presented I Am Cumstain with his very own pair of unusually tall boots for their next trail adventure on horseback. The boots looked divine with his running shorts.

Just Calvin arrived after being lost and getting directions via cell phone from Ass Grabber, and he was named immediately… Beats My Meat. He beat everyone’s meat Saturday at the campout workday. Sinner!

Before we could make our way to the on-on-on, still hungry hashers were fortunate enough to taste another super-delicious grill creation from Ass Grabber, spicy barbequed burgers. Then we were off to the on-on-on at the Ginger Man for more tall tales and adult beverages. Fun was had by all!

Virgin hash trasher,
Really?… F*ck!