Hash #1749 – Bang Bang Ez, Ez’s Going Away Hash
Hares: Ez 2 Please, RamRod
Well, after months and months of going away parties, it had to happen sometime; Easy to Please was finally getting the hell out of Texas. Good riddance.
A small pack met at Han’s Bierhaus around 3 o’clock for some farewell prelubing and after an hour or so of drinks, the rest of the Houston hounds started to arrive. After a few rounds of drinks the hares took everyone outside for chalk talk. There was a rumbling in the sky above as if to signal the end of (Easy’s) days (in Houston). After explaining the hash marks and specifically the Boston/Houston split, the hounds were off.
The trail started out heading to the east through the neighborhoods, towards Rice University. After a short little jog across O’Connor field, the pack found the courtyard with the giant slab sculptures that I can’t run past without trying to climb one and then a beer check. But How? The only place close enough was Valhalla! Somehow Easy or Ramrod had worked their (sexual) magic on the management of the wonderful little bar and got the to open early as a special treat for the hash. Even better than the fact that Valhalla was open; was the fact that they had all their beers available for purchase instead of a singular keg of Lone Star or Pabst, much to Hooter’s dismay. It was during the beer check that the skies opened and provided the hounds with a nice cool break from the hot Houston weather. But not all was well.
After the unexpected rain, the trail, which was laid that day, started to disappear rapidly. After the beer check the hounds headed southeast along Cambridge street towards Hermann Park. It was here that I got lost with Dangleberries and separated from most of the pack. After some serious scrounging, we finally found trail going by the zoo parking lot and towards the medical center. “Of course!” I thought. “If Easy is going to medical school, why would she not lay trail in the medical center?!”
It was around this area that the Houston/Boston split came up and required a water crossing for those unlucky enough to take the wrong split. I was lucky enough to avoid the water. After this the trail was pretty easy to follow because of a HUGE ON-IN on the side of the bayou leading to the end.
The end of trail was held at the parks along the Braes Bayou trail, where two years before, Easy had met her special boy, Twinkletoes, and a beautiful and weird relationship began.
During circle, Easy to Please was made to drink for many of her past offenses as well as plenty of new ones. Narc called Vaguerant out for yelling such things as “keep up” and “why so slow old man?” only even through Narc was in front for almost the entire trail. Having received the Hashshit the previous week as a family, Ramrod and Easy nominated Lube Job to receive it this week for making Easy cry on the very first trail she laid, the infamous “Bataan Death March” Hash. There were cheers of approval as that cruel bastard was made to drink from the plunger.
After way too many rounds of Bang Bang, Easy from Ramrod, circle came to an end. The On-After was back at Hans’ where Easy played one of her last games of speed/battle chess with her boys while others played boccie ball. The hares were kind enough to provide quite a few pizzas that were demolished in a matter of minutes. At the end of the night there were hugs, kisses, tears and ass grabs as the hash said it’s goodbyes to Easy to Please. Godspeed young hasher. May you trail be clearly laid and hazmat never be called. Good luck, Easy to Please!