Hash # 1754 – H4/Crab Hash/Ass Grabber’s Birthday Hash.
Hares: Dick Assley, Dick the Boy Wonder, Ass Grabber
After a super fun and super successful Texas Crab Hash #19, it was time to run the H4 trail. We were particularly lucky to have Dick Assley, Dick the Boy Wonder and Ass Grabber as our hares this week. We knew trail was gonna rock. The pack met up at Specs off Pearland Parkway for a 4 pm start. As they were waiting around for chalk talk, the pack was pleasantly surprised with two bag of delicious french pastries compliments of a nearby bakery closing for the day. It seemed like it was going to be a good trail. Dick The Boy Wonder had even done his rain dance earlier in the day and brought it some cloud cover for the hounds. He delayed the rain from falling until after chalk talk was complete and the hounds were off. Just then the skies opened up and the rain started falling. Ass Grabber and the other hares loaded up the shag wagon and were about to pull out of the lot when, lo and behold, a limping hasher. It was RamRod. Somehow he had managed to sprain his ankle in the first 100 yards of trail. Except for the swelling, I thought it was just an excuse to go back to camp and drink some more.
So, now that the hares had loaded up Ramrod, they were off to the ending. But wait! What’s this? Another hasher is limping as the hares drive by. This time it’s Tap Dat Ass’s sister, Heather! That’s two hashers down in less than 200 yards of trail! FAIL!!!!
After securing Heather for the ride, the hares headed back to DTBW’s Crab Hash camp to finish setting up. The hounds ran north and west through a neighborhood, followed flour through a gas pipeline clearing and through a nice bit of shiggy. They then came to Forbes road. Here they went north to Almeda-Genoa and then things got complicated. Some hashers that had been to Crab Hash knew that the end was going to be at the campsite. Others weren’t so lucky. Snatcha had almost made it to the end when she spotted an arrow from the previous trail. Not knowing the end was so close, she decided to follow it like a good hariette. What she didn’t know is that she was adding 3.5 miles to a 3.5 mile trail. Over achiever.
Meanwhile, back at the camp; Ass Grabber was finishing up his delicious chicken enchiladas and the Lone Star was flowing like wine. Dick Assley was seen pacing for a few minutes worried that the rain had washed away trail but was quickly soothed when the pack started to arrive.
Once Snatcha showed up, circle was started. Tap Dat Ass took her seat in the same child’s seat she sat in last year, making me want to tap dat ass even more. There were some down downs for the injured hounds and some other accusations. (I don’t remember them all, it had been a long weekend) and circle came to a close. The on-after was on DTBW’s land because there were plenty of beers and margaritas still flowing from the weekend. Over all, it was the Best Trail of the Quarter, if I do say so myself.