Hare: PP

I wasn’t at this run but I’m sure PP’s trail was pretty kick ass.

I’ve been on this mortal coil a couple years and I’ve had some great NYEs and some truly horrible NYDs. Most NYDs growing up were spent with the family eating lentil soup, ham and Yorkshire pudding. Then, I found alcohol. Lentil soup stopped being the focus of NYD and movies like Dumb and Dumber took the place of Yorkshire pudding. Ham switched to bacon and youthful exuberance for the future turned to frequent trips to the porcelain bus crying out for a quick death.

One of the worst NYDs was when Hole in 1 and I had been married a total of 6 months. The night prior I had deemed it my responsibility to play the best fucking Jenga game you could imagine all while emulating Dean Martin in his heyday. Eventually Jenga mocked my bloated, alcohol soaked corpse as I lay in a centrifugal force known as the bathroom floor.

FUCK YOU PHYSICS!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t even know if what I just typed made any sense. I’m not a fucking scientist.

The next day Hole in 1 made me attend her high school fucking reunion at none other than DAVE AND GO SUCK A FAT DICK, BUSTER(S) If you’re keeping score at home I am 9 years older than my smoking hot wife, as Mama’s Boy is want to say, so my game is already hindered by a 9 year handicap. Add to the fact that I hate each and everyone of them just for doing this you could say my first impression was that of a surly old man screaming for the damn kids to get off my lawn.

In hindsight I would trade that one day for 30 of PP’s trails.