Hares: I F*cked Your Dad, French Drip, Toolbox
(Thanks for writing the hash trash Brrrrrrggghhh)
GREAT being back to the Houston hash! As McP mentioned, we did get stopped by a warden who mentioned it’s a Class B Misdemeanor for our trespassing. Thankfully, and according to McP, she gave him only a warning after he showed his peter to her. She stood stunned and speechless.
Two kegs….we think they were full kegs…simply vanished just before accusations. Nonetheless, thanks to Second Hand Job for handling the beer wagon.
IFYD, French Drip and Tool Box laid a most fun shiggy trail! 5 miles in length. Two virgins. And many reboots. Here is my quick recap:
1) The walkers were out on trail for a solid THREE hours. Lost, like the crew from Gilligans Island. Hooter, in a most adamant and concerned tone, stated that someone needed to look for the walkers. Il Castrato and I laughed at Hooter’s concern as Il C. stated, “Hooter — the walkers’ rights activist.”
2) Someone set up a hanging shower in the woods. All hasher dogs joined in howling unison as they extolled Closet Freak in her pure and nekkid beauty.
3) Refer to Point #2 – Closet Freak in the nude. Pimp Dawg was called into the circle for cleansing in the above said shower and expecting that Closet F. was next to him. He saw a nude back and longer, curly hair. Imagine his surprise when his shower partner turned to face him and it was Tree Hugger!! (Insert “Sodomy” song here).
4) Butt Pirate sported his new ironman tatoo on his right calf. Quite unique. He is scheduled to do IM Texas again!
5) I congratulated Dangleberry on his marathon debut! 2:58:01. Outstanding! !!!
6) The game warden imposed her authority of our trespassing by stopping the 2nd hasher, Tender Vittles. At this point, Saran is well ahead and speeding down the embankment. Tender then yells, “Saran!! Saran!! Come back!!” Game warden says, “What’s he doing down there? He could get hurt!!!”.
7) Saran called out Just John for coming up short of tip money at the Yardhouse bar a week or so ago. Saran gave Just John the money he lacked/needed. Saran proposed the naming, “Short Tip”. Great idea! However, “Tipper Whore” was claimed as his hash name. (Which BTW, he despises…) .
8) At the On On On, I’m waiting for a beer at the bar while Parson’s Nose is making new friends within a few feet. One of the regulars asked me (pointing to PN), “Is he your husband?” I laughed heartily and asked PN for his answer. He replied, “Not tonight”.
9) An official paddle was given to various hashers to spank the girl whose bday is tomorrow. Closet Freak gave a whopping blow to IFYD that I think sent her to the heavens. It was harsh.
10) Many of you missed this, but about 5 hashers were pushing French D.’s vehicle from the front as it was sorta stuck in the mud. All who were pushing gave a heave-ho. One who gave an honest and all-out effort was Urban Cocksucker. He pushed and fell face forward in the mud! Everyone else kept their balance, except him. It was a complete riot to see.
Trail was great, circle was fun and there are many more stories to share….but this harriette has to hit the hay!!
On-on to more hashing and Pooperbowl next week!!!
Brrrrrggggggggggghh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh
(Verified Official Hash Trash by Dick Assley, 1/30/12)
Heartache = Yellow
Krusty Kreme = White
Rancid Asshole = Red
Blow Hole = Purple
Pull the Plug = Green