#1795 – Whale’s Vagina Birthday Trail
Whale’s Vagina, Meatbox, & Unlaiden Swallows
The hares assembled a big kennel with promises of golfers, rich doctors (same thing?), crevice exploring nurses, and a whole cooked pig at the ending. So why not right? We congregated under the 1st true Texas heat of the summer at the Herman golf course. The pack yacked loudly as boys played golf around us and looked at us in bewilderment and horniness. After Whale V. gave us the true tail sign several hashers ran directly on to the golf course. HEY! These bastards were trying to Bo Jackson it – if Bo traded baseball for golf and football for hashing of course, which he did in the later part of his career. That card isn’t worth very much.
Whale must have listened to Al Roker (I later found out Al is Whale’s life coach on all matters) because his trail hugged the medical center very closely. Should a hasher fall to the heat they were only an ant’s pecker away from a cool medical bed and a nurse’s attention. Crapballs I should have tried that or pulled a sandlot. Next time.
Whale’s true motivation for laying a birthday trail was shown in his choice of ending, which was a covered park area that was littered with froglicking, no frolicking children. Is that why he had to flee Austin? The PoPo took a keen interest in the hash as thousands of hashers innocently followed flour over the street and into the children’s den. Some lame ass, probably the same dude that makes kids wear helmets, calls that jaywalking in books. The coppers realized that we are just lemmings so they issued 500 written warnings and parked their cruiser under a shaded tree to witness the rest.
At this point Whale’s Vagina and Lewis & Clark had to find a suitable circle spot since we didn’t have enough earmuffs to give the children. Clowns to the left of me jokers to the right. They found a PERFECT spot right next to the train tracks. This meant every 10 seconds a small train would come by carrying even more children by us. Whale stood there drooling. They must have been showing Indiana Jones on cable too much because Horsefli Drive-bi jumped on the back of the train and rode it into circle. Horsefli often confuses children with Nazis.
Have you ever watched Goodfellas on network television? Circle was like that, songs were sung with a lot of bleeping going on. It was really funny. A visitor named Pounding Father sang a hilarious tune about monkeys beeping monkeys. It was then noticed that one of the hares, Unlaiden Swallows, was missing. People started thinking about the delicious pig they had just eaten. Had Whale cooked Unlaiden Swallows and turned us all into cannibals? Probably. But she would have wanted us to continue circle, and that’s what we did as harrierettes subbed in for her. Someone kidnapped an innocent student on their way to Sunday school. This boy, who was wearing a backpack with an entire keyboard sticking out of it, drank a down down beer while turning in circles the whole time. Momma would be proud. Hey really if anybody has seen Unlaiden Swallows let us know. OnOn!