Hash #1801 – Too Hot to Run Hash

Hares:  Whale’s Vagina, Meatbox, Weapons of Mass-Turbation

Well, it was a hot and steamy day and the hares decided to lay a trail.  Our thoughtful hares thought that having the trail on the hottest day of the summer (so far) in order to please the hounds.  They also decided to have the start location in the hottest parking lot of Houston.  As the pack gathered, you could see the sweat pools starting to grow around the feet and tires in the parking lot.  The hares promised “shaded urban-shiggy” and the pack got to learn, once again, that hares lie. 

The pack took off promptly at 4:32ish or so and headed south into the neighborhoods.  The trail started to follow the bayou and the pack was excited about some “shiggy”.  It wouldn’t last.  The trail cut of in to the neighborhoods and zig-zagged throughout suburbia.  I decided to range a little and cut off the pack which was immediately followed by me ranging and getting lost withJust Ben.  After a lot of sweat and a lot of checks, we came to the beer check just in time to see the hares driving away with car-loads of walkers.  I jumped in and left Ben to his fate to finish trail.  Finally at the end, there was shade.  But there were also a lot of kids.  What better way to end a hash than sing dirty songs around a bunch of 6 year olds and their families.

Ramrod called the circle to order and official business was underway.  The Hares were called in to drink for their trail and while WMT was down-downing her beer, Whale’s Vagina splashed her ever so gently as payback after six weeks of plotting.  It was cute.  There were a nice number of new boots and all but one were women.  Just Amanda worked hard to bring out two, Rachel and Maryella; Just Kylee brought out Erica; Bethany made her self cum; Glory Hole brought out two new boots, Emily and Drew (points have been taken away for one of them being a dude); and Jizz Hands brought out Chelsea, who is adamant that they aren’t dating.

The reboots were called out and included Finger in the Dyke, Zultan, DeathCabforBootie, CumonIwannaleiya, IntensivePair, and Old Faithful.  Lame excuses were given and the glory hounds were kicked out of circle.  Meatbox was given a dog tag for 25 runs and Dumpster Digger celebrated his 600 runs with one as well. Weapons of Mass-Turbation was also defloured as a virgin hare.

With official business completed it was accusation time.  The hares were accused of keeping tits safe by having the end at a park around kids by Pull the PlugHeartache presented Intensive Pair with a new wooden mug for special events.  Just Drew was accused by HomoDynamics for stealing a beer from a homeless man on trail but refused to drink it in the circle.  Whale’s Vagina called out Pull the Prick Out for an ironic fashion down-down because she was wearing a Penn State for Prostate cancer t-shirt.  Duke of Puke accused Just Amanda of being and elitist drinker but was quickly made to drink with her because of his own habits.  Ramrod had to drink for telling Weapons of Mass-turbation he would start circle as soon as she got back from a carback, but she had already come back and he didn’t realize he was talking to WMT herself.  Meatbox, Dangleberries and Just Amanda were all called out for peeing in a public park in the most awkward ways and multiple times.  I think Meatbox peed at least 5 or six times during circle.  Finally the accusations were coming to a close when out of no where, Dick the Boy Wonder shows up after missing almost everything.  This was also the first trail I’ve been to that Hooter Bill was not sighted.

I stopped paying attention and circle came to a close.  The hares had “food out” at the on after but I went and saw Batman.  **Spoiler Alert** Bruce Wayne’s parents come back as zombies and eat everyone’s faces.

The next hash is Hared by Brrrrrggghh and Penis Envy, details to cum.  The August full moon with Dick Assley, Whale’s Vagina and Just Kylee will take place on July 31st.  There is a PC hash and an OTR hash on the July 24th with a shared on-after.  Voodoo Monkey registration is open, Doggie Daze still has some room and Red Dress run is just around the corner as well.  Lots of stuff to do before summer ends!


Dick Assley