Hares: Snatch Trick and Urban Cocksucker
Sometimes things go together like peanut butter and jelly, or anal & lube. This day was fashioned like an old fashioned. Your city of Houston put it together like Free Pussy & Griff’s. Silly Similies and Smiles. Unadopted pets. Drool. Feces. I watched a building implode downtown that day and that wasn’t even the highlight of my day (no it was Roadkill. Always is.) What I’m saying is you hear the words Hangover Hash and you think oh my geeze a boring A to A with slow wits. And you would be wrong you Forrest Gump motherfucker. Because this is the Houston Hash House Harriers and surprises come like crabs to a prostitute (hi Rain Bitch!), 1 billion served McDonalds style. Recognize your hares Snatch Trick and Urban Cocksucker. They put about 60 hungover suckers in East Downtown near Navigation and Bohemeo’s. Right now the kids call it Eado. City slang.
The night previous these 60 hungover hashers and then some were freaking it out at the Hash Christmas party at Super Happy Fun Land. Dancing to the Allen Oldies Band. Eating BBQ. Getting more crabs (hi Rain Bitch!). So the heads were hung low. But we did what we do. We hashed. Into pit bull central. Near Horesfli Driveby and his decoy duck that he threw at everyone. I told you the start. The in between was crosses and checks and On On shouts. But hear me now and believe me later. WE ENDED AT 8TH WONDER BREWERY!!!!!!!! A brand new brewery downtown that’s near the Dynamo Stadium (soccer.). (*)(*)
Oh yeah and there was a mimosa check on trail. By the time I got there it was a brass monkey check. Fanciness gone 🙁
Urban Cocksucker gave us the nectar of his homebrews, the malty one was on the left and the hoppy one was to the left of the left one. Homebrew, Lone Pint, 8th Wonder beer (you can’t even get it yet unless you’re a hasher and you hashed that day), and cheetos and stuff. Just Heidi got named. She got named Rim Shot. It was a big cuntroversy bc Geek renounced it in rage bc there was another hasher named Rim Shot. The hash pleaded with the brilliant sage, saying that Rim Shot never hashes and my golly what a good name for Just Heidi. The old wrinkly one took a sip from his homebrew,lone pint, and 8th wonder beers and come to his sense. Singular. And realized that he made a mistake http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4OwRUHE_-I . There was no Rim Shot but now there is. Congrats Rim Shot. May you get hit all the time.
The On On On was where we parked at Bohemeo’s. There Mommy’s Little Accident and his GF (Prom Night Dumpster Baby?) told us tales of their oral sex life. She is proud of her bushiness and often does not know when his tongue is in. Saran Crap recounted his time in the big house from hashing near train tracks, all done charades style. A hash birthday cake was given to birthday boy Urban Cocksucker. It was the best hangover hash that I’ve ever taken part in. It makes me want to be a better hangover.