Hash # 1827 – Dick Assley’s Birdday Hash
Courtesy of: Notorious Goose Grinder, Dick Assley, and Whale’s Vagina
Dick Assley got older so he thought it would be a good idea to corral up some Bad Company and lay a confusing trail. Well mission accomplished brother. Not totally true but some of it.
Trail started near http://tinyurl.com/agotzke (I never delete emails. Take that Hotmail!)(.)(.) Minding my business I was the lone dude to run right at the very first check. Rancid Asshole screams at me they’re on over here! They’re on over here! Which they weren’t. And since I get confused when men scream at me I followed his pointless directions.
Trail ended up making a big ol’ loopty loop that kind of resembled the state of Texas http://connect.garmin.com/activity/259312347 . So you see what Rancid was doing there was preventing me from finding the ending of trail that was at the beginning of trail. But why would he do that since he was not a hare? We find out in circle that R.A. was doing some early scouting that day and ran the area ahead of time. I guess he does this for every hash? Get a life get a life? Here are some other random factoids from this hash:
-Hey good idea to put the walker’s trail so close to the runner’s trail! This resulted in 99% of the pack running the walker’s trail and making it to the beer check before the confused hares. This plus ending near the start is just beautiful work.
-Some weird building that looked like a giant futuristic snowglobe that people guessed was a Mosque. I later did some expert Bing-ing and found out that it’s actually a communication tower for extraterrestrials. My source = http://caffeine-fueled.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/giorgio-tsoukalos.jpeg
-Shitdickassballs tried to be a good Samaritan. He found a phone on trail and returned it to the citizen that was walking nearby. Hours later when Can’t Hack The Sack ran in the field the same woman screamed stop that man he stole my phone! Don’t mess with meth.
-When trying to wade through the river a giant catfish jumped out of the water and bit Snatch Trick on her boob. There were witnesses.
-Assgrabber & WillHePeter were kind enough to cook at the end of this A-A trail. The only problem was there were no grills in the park. But that is no problem, they dug out holes in the ground to cook out of. You better redneckognize!
Keep on truckin’…