Hares: Letch, Estrus, and Dicky Licky
June 5, 1995
By special assignment reporter Grind Slut
The long awaited reboot reunion run was hyped on the hash line all week as "a family oriented event, with plenty of beer, fajitas by Great Kahuna, and hash fellowship, with a child friendly on-on". What exactly is a child friendly on-on? Is it one where there is no mooning, no references to alleged buggery among hash men and accusation songs like "he's got shit on his dick, shit on his dick, shit on his dick", no showing of tits, and no excessive drinking? If so, then this was not a child-friendly situation. What is more likely is that hare Letch was trying to figure out a way to get a good look at a few pre-pubescent hash children. But I'll talk more about that later.
The run started from the parking lot of Vincent's restaurant, located on Dallas street behind the American General building. 105 hashers showed up (but some were auto wankers). The live hares departed and were given the full 15 minute head start, but we noticed that Dicky Licky was not carrying any flour and was not dressed in running clothes.
The pack bolted from the start with thoughts of pantsing the hares dancing in our heads. The result was a scattering of the FRB's all over the neighborhood to the south of the start. The trail headed generally southeast to Taft street, and then made a typical Letch-style loop back to the west. Geek was seen leading a sizeable group south on Montrose. Choo-Choo, Gonad, Blue Balls, and myself continued north on Taft down the Allen Parkway trail, where we picked up flour heading west. Baby Huey appeared in front, and we all spotted a check on the running path in between the train bridge and the Studemont bridge. Since this is classical location for the use of the "vertical check", I ran over the Studemont bridge to check for flour. I was followed by Gonad, Blue Balls, Two-bit Whore, and a few others. We didn't find any flour. Realizing that we were probably screwed, I refused to give up, knowing that even the seemingly most hopeless longcuts can turn into a "shortcut that pays off". And did it ever!
I decided that the best move was to cross Studemont and run down the decaying asphalt road that leads into a now-demolished neighborhood. The plan was to parallel the pack (assuming they had found trail continuing along the running path) by running down the road and into a small park at Waugh and Memorial; then cross the Waugh bridge and intersect the pack. What happened, however, was that we noticed a huge "ON HOME" written on the road, with an arrow pointing toward the park. I called to the hashers behind me and raced through the shiggy down into the park. We had finished the run in twenty minutes; we beat the hares in by ten. I suggested to a few of my fellow shortcutters that we should go back out on trail and hide in the bushes to suprise the hares, but soon the beer was flowing and our ideas of leaving the on home vanished. The rest of the pack arrived in about 45 minutes.
While we were hanging around the kegs waiting for the pack to arrive, I asked reboot Will-he Peter why he continues to stay in Houston. He replied " It gives me that in your face, down your throat, up the butt action that I really love about living large in a large city. And, it's the home of my favorite performance artist, Willie D." Pete was then seen leading two preteen girls that he claimed were his "daughters" into the bushes to play "Catch the finger".
The rest of the evening was spent eating fajitas, singing hash songs, and making a valiant attempt at killing four kegs. The kegs won - I got home about 1 in the morning, and had an unbelievable hangover at work the next day.
I love hashing!