Hash Trash May 27th, 2001
ShagWagon: Womb with a View, Food
and hospitality: Stinky Pussy Foot
To round out a superlative hashing weekend, Rain Bitch and Womb Service offered the pack a trail featuring suburban streets, shiggy, railway tracks, bayou crossings, a tunnel, an eagle-tortoise split and an on on that went on and on and on. Short on flour but generous in length, the front runners staggered in after an hour and a half in the hot Houston sun.
Conversations at the start reflected on the excellence of the preceding days Space City run along the banks of the Brazos, hared by Dick Head and Bildo Dildo. We massed at the corner of Kerr park, just off Cross Timbers and I-45 in North Houston. Brothers in beaten-up Chevy’s cruised the street in awe at the invasion of foreigners. Hooter Bill mused that we had not been in this part of town before. At the appointed hour Rain Bitch explained the usual hash iconography and we were off, to the West I believe: here is a worms eye view of what followed.
We pretty rapidly ran out of flour and scattered, two spots of flour were sighted at the South Western edge of a wooded area and this sent us in the wrong direction. Eventually led by Anal 101, Ripley and Shuttlecock we picked up trail again through a mass of poison ivy and headed North through a neighborhood towards Whiteoak Bayou. Hounds were running in all directions but eventually converged on flour on the Southern side of the Bayou. The trail crossed from side to side and the hares made good use of the wooded areas on either side which were full of scratchy thorns and hanging vines.
The frbs led alternately by Low Profile, Saran Crap and Shuttlecock followed the line of the river, occasionally on flour, more often hoping to be. Flour laid in the grass could only be seen if you were on top of it. Heartache ranged to the right of the main pack on Airline Drive navigating by instinct. At the railway line we came to the Eagle-Tortoise split, the Eagle trail headed East towards the freeway, and a check. Saran Crap kept going, Ass Wipe, and transferee Rodger the Cabin Boy headed South along the freeway and I headed South along Bella Vista. None of us found flour but that didn’t slow us down. The Eastern trails seemed more promising so I headed to the river bank to find that the Bayou had grown, time to retrace my steps. Hooter Bill, Group Sex and Sticky Lips appeared ahead of me and we followed the steps of Ass Wipe and The Cabin Boy. Flour was eventually found close to the river bank and we followed Ass Wipe into the long tunnel under the loop. We lost trail again splodging through the river at the other side, but Donut Holer and Group Sex found flour in unlikely places high on theright bank of the river. Emerging form the jungle, I again found Hooter Bill and Heartache way in front.
We stopped for water in a little park and picked up trail heading West into the Heights, only to lose it again at the crossing of Airline Drive. Anal 101 and Out of Tuna seemed to know where they were going so I followed them. We had been out for an hour and a quarter and I was beginning to get warm.
We eventually emerged on Aurora where I met Rear Layer. He told me that that Stinky and Rain Bitch lived further West on the same street, so there was hope
that this trail would end. Donut Holer was on a roll and led the charge a few blocks South then along the
back access path to the Rain Bitch residence
at Arlington and Aurora.
Two kegs, of St Arnolds Amber and of Piss, awaited the thirsty pack but most headed for the fridge in the garage and iced water. As I mentioned earlier it was a hot day.
Stinky who had not been seen till then, had been beavering away preparing Andouillette sausage and Crawfish to feed the ravenous pack. Shuttlecock was nominated RA for the evening and welcomed a wide variety of visitors: a couple from Beaumont whose names I can’t remember, High Maintenance and Space Needle Dick from New Orleans, returnees Tuna Delight, The Great Kahuna, Putrified Penis ,Token Choken Poken, Thai’d One and Can’t Hound. The Cabin Boy long awaited replacement of All Head No Shaft was welcomed into the Houston fold, he mentioned he liked our songs, but found the trail a little long – which indeed it was. No harm in that.
After the circle, the pack finished the kegs, finished of the crawfish and everything else that was edible lying around. They then attacked the icebox and the chilled St. Arnolds Summer Pilsner. As the evening wore on we ordered pizza and invaded the interior of the house.
It was a balmy evening and the sheep (as SOS would have it) were croaking. Group Sex impressed me with her pick up skills, as she and Sticky Lips were cruising to the end she saw a guy on a motor cycle crossing Main St. Quick as a flash she knocked him off the bike and while he was still dazed invited him to the on on. Turned out he was English, so probably brain-damaged already, but as I left they seemed to be getting on very well.
That is all I am going to write for now, an excellent trail
and on on, your scribe for the day, The
Worm That Turns.