The Baby Crap Run

Run Number: 1259

Hares: Baby Huey and Saran Crap

Date: November 17, 2002

Venue: Eldridge Parkway, North of I-10

While driving to the run, I was reminded of the week before's write-up by MIND FU*K, where she looked at the flooding, and said she "wasn't going to run in that fu*king cesspool!" I should have listened to MIND FU*K. This run was full of water. I think the hares set the run with a divining rod -- once we got out of one body of water, the trail went straight to the next body of water! And each body of water kept getting deeper and deeper!

Everyone hurried to get there at 3:00 p.m. because the hares said there would be a prompt 3 p.m. start. However, we get there, and the hares are missing! Could they have started live haring already? NOT! It turned out that the hares had prelaid a portion of the trail, then BABY HUEY had set out with some biscuit mix to lay the portion that led up to the pink surveyor's tape.

Trail started innocently enough along a paved sidewalk along the edge of a subdivision. When we jumped over a little stream to the right, we began running in some nice little woods. But alas, our easy run was about to come to an end. We came upon a swamp and I followed SOS and EZ FAG as they waded in. It’s easier to follow someone else, because you can find out where the deep spots are if they go under while crossing. After the swamp, we then ran through some woods that were as thick as The Black Forest of Germany -- it was dark enough to need a flashlight in these woods! And we had to crawl through most of it! We eventually ended up going through this drainage ditch that I labeled "Mosquito Alley". There's not enough Off and Skin So Soft in the world to protect you from these monsters! And the mosquitoes were delighted that they didn't have to venture away from their breeding grounds -- we went to them! There was much joy in Mosquitoland that day. Surely this must be the deepest water crossing in the trail. Ha!

Well, after the drainage ditch, we ran through a forest that reminded me of one of those fairy tale forests where the trees ate people. MASTER CHUGGER reminded me that the forest I spoke of was from the Wizard of Oz, and we proceeded to have to fend off trees as they tried to swallow us whole. HUMBUG was running in front of me for a while, and the trees almost got the better of him. I think there was safety in numbers in that forest.

After the Scary Forest That Eats People, we waded through an even larger swamp that went on forever. We followed SPERM BANK and PENICILLIN on trail mostly to see if they'd run into hidden logs, deep spots, etc.

That's when we got to the lake.

This wasn't just a depression of land that water accumulated in from the Reservoir. It was an entire fu*king lake that we had to swim across! I saw SPERM BANK take a dive, so I thought I could avoid going under, but no such luck. All of a sudden we go from wading in water up to our tits, to under water! There went my mascara! Argh! SMOOTH STROKER and I swam together, and once we made it across, we ran to the next check and in looking around at all the water that surrounded us, SMOOTH STROKER suggested that we run the path where we'd only be in water up to our ankles. Go figure, it was true trail! When we got to the end of that, we ran to the levee where we had ended the 1200^th run, and ran along it to the next foray into the woods. Luckily, these woods were only muddy, and didn't require wading in a swamp. Praise G!

It was right after these woods that the trail ended behind some warehouses. WILL HE PETER made some excellent red beans and rice for us, and PIPES conducted a rather short circle (by Houston standards) where we made the hares drink over and over again for what was really an excellent hash run. Thanks for setting such a great shiggy run, Baby Huey and Saran Crap!

Write up by: Rain Bitch