Halfmoon's 20th Anniversary Hash Run

Hares: Halfmoon, Cums Happily, Will He Peter
Dec 16th, 2007

re:below... this is why we Hash! It's all about The Game. Many will say it's the fellowship and/or the beer, but it's the lonely hare having only his wits on his side, trying to confound the bloodthirsty (aka beer thirsty) pack of hounds. Yes, the Belgian Beer (GOLDEN MONKEY) was great, yes WHP's fried turkey has great, yes the Brewery Tap OnOnOn was great, I but I'll always remember the trail where the FRB's KNEW where I was going to end. My 1st Hash was full moon, Dec 4th, 1987. I hope I remember this hash just a clearly 20 yrs from now.

Thanks to everyone who came out, bought a 20th Anniversary T-shirt, ran trail, ran off-trail, drank Golden Monkey, ate turkey, and enjoyed the commraderie at the Brewery Tap.

OnOn
M/2

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Hash Trash by Heartache

Sunday arrives, amid a deluge of e-mails from the hares, trumpeting the wonders of their trail, their super-premium triple-decker beer and their awesome food buffet.

In other words, the usual bullshit from the ultimate self-promoters…..

Given their fame as flawed personages, the turn-out was a remarkable 67. No doubt the perfect running weather and the historic significance of the starting point persuaded many.

After the usual time-wasting chalk-talk, off we went up the Main st bridge to the U of H and a boring back-check, which missed the chance of snaking us through the parking lot and just continued on down the bridge to the bayou. Heartache and Mamma’s boy decided the scenic route was much better, did the parking lot, scrambled over the defunct railway bridge and proceeded with the pack on the track bed up the side of the bayou to a check under the tracks close to Hogan street and another on Hogan Street, and a do-loop false to the East, followed by finding true trail to the West over Hogan St bridge, past a grinning HalfMoon, left on Goliad, left on spring to a check under I-10. Some spreading out of the pack occurred here, with Heartache and Assgrabber electing to go on the South side of I-10 up to Houston Ave, while true trail went North of I-10 along the side of the Bayou.

First chance of a mega short cut presented itself in Heartache’s brain: how about crossing the bridge over !-10 and check out the ending spot in the woods, used so many times…… but no, like a lemming, he followed Assgrabber along Weber, cut through the hole in the fence and onto the U-10 feeder at Taylor St bridge, arriving just as the FRB’s were milling around on the North side of the bridge, to call OnOn continuing West on the N side of I-10. Heartache lost sight of Assgrabber and decided to cut down the s side of I-10, thinking to sneak under I-10 and join the pack. And lucked out, finding flour coming toward him and up the side of the new building. Assgrabber re-appeared behind, and recognizing we had luckedonto a nice short-cut, proceeded to run like a maniac – FRB at last! But no, as we met up with Grind Slut, who had been cruising the neighborhoods, off flour the whole time….

And the trio of miscreants found the check on the other side of the Target parking lot……. And then proceeded to a royal cluster-fuck……
Assgrabber ran South to the Tracks, and went East towards downtown, grind went East on summer street, paralleling Assgrabber. Heartache also paralleled, but one street North, on crockett…… And heard Assgrabber calling On on the tracks. And ran his fat ass off trying to catch up to the flying Duo, now running south on Silver. Not seeing flour but “ASS-uming they were on trail, H’ache paralleled them on Sabine St, arriving at the footbridge over memorial just behind them, obviously almost home at the traditional Sabine Street bridge ending spot……

But it was not to be. The dumb trio assembled on the Sabine st Bridge, among the tourists taking pictures of downtown. And Heartache realized that the two FRBs had been running free of flour all the way, based on one spot of powder seen on the tracks by Assgrabber….
At which point, the trio said their farewells and Heartache set off West on the north side of the Bayou, intent on heading towards the obvious ending spots to the West and South of the Target check……

Jumping up onto Memorial to cross the bayou, and intent on investigating Spotts park at Waugh, who should appear running east on Memorial: a free-ranging McPisser, who had started late and decided to run to HalfMoon’s house……. Heartache explained the position of last flour and McPisser decided the plan was good – head for Spotts park and failing this, head North towards I-10 on Heights, hoping to run into trail going West from the check at Target. Hmmmm – nothing at spots park, so off we went to I-10. No trail going West. Hmmm: a double-back behind Target to the tracks over Studemont to the famous ending spot on the West side of the Bridge? No! so back to the infamous Target check. And a divergence, as h’ache decided to check the back of Target while McPisser went to the check. And never to be seen again until the On-home. He checked a while and decided to ignominiously run all the way back to the cars and wank to the end by car….

No such option for heartache, who realized that his car keys were in his hash bag……. So after a further 20 minutes inspecting every possible direction off the check, found flour cunningly hidden heading towards the Taylor Street bridge (where the pack had stood about 90 minutes before……..). From there it was a straight shot to the end at the East end of Stude park, in front of Slut manor 2, arriving a good hour after the pack, who were well on the way to finishing the circle……

Not expecting a long trail, no GPS was carried, but by retracing trail on Google, an estimate of 11 miles was made…….. (a little more than the 4 ½ mile true trail…….)

The beer was strong, the turkey was cold, the circle was rowdy. (I think – it’s all a bit of a blurrrrr after too much Belgian ale.). And I believe I was shipped to the Brewery tap by WHP to a convivial gathering of stalwarts. And thankful that I had the presence of mind to park before the run right at the bar, as I would not have found my car otherwise…….
So, lessons learned:

OnOn
Heartache

 

 

Real Trail

(5.3 miles )

 

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Heartache's Trail

(11 miles)