"Friend of Whitey" Awards

Fire Tunnel

12/29/02

To Fire Tunnel, for exceptional Harriette behavior for defending my master from evil dogs!!! Fire Tunnel receives this reward for exhibiting the following behaviors enduring to Whitey

• Defending the honor (or should we say hind quarter) of Whitey's owner (Halfmoon)
• Always does what's least expected
• Affection upon demand ( see Picture of the Week, 10/1/2002), and in the circle, and to the R.A.!
• Likes the outdoors

Sticky Lips

Wow MoM Wow

Gonad the Barbarian

12/7/2001

Click on the Ribbons above for individual awards

Remember when we used to refer to "Baby Hashers"... WOW! How times change. The Baby Boomers are getting OLD! These three of our favorite hashers turned FOUR-O recently and boy did they throw a PARTY... FOUR Kegs of Beer.... FOUR-O-My-Head-Hurts kegs of Beer!

Sticky Lips, Wow MoM WoW, and Gonad the Barbarian are eternal "Friends of Whitey" for sharing their good cheer with his owner and the Hash. Each of the three recieved a special "I'm 40 & I Buy Beer for my Friends" FOW T-Shirt (see above).

Whitey is not at all happy with his OWNER who stupidly forgot his camera! ....Whitey therefore wants him to post one of his all time favorite pictures of one of our FOW recipients.

Click Here

Footnote: Hairy Palms & WMW are the 1st Friend-of-Whitey couple in the Hash

Womb Service

4/29/01

When asked, why he kept wearing new boots to the hash when he knew he'd have to do a DownDown out of the new boot, he replied, because they bring me good luck. Womb Service is eternally a "Friend of Whitey" for Good Luck!

A Hash Classic, Womb Service's picture now adorns the "Hash Flash" page.

Gas Light

2/25/01

To Gas Light, for exceptional Harriette behavior at the Aero's Hockey Game. Doing what's least expected! (see FAQ's below). Whitey was particularly impressed by Gas Light's ability to inspire the Team!

She Flashes!

He Shoots!!!

He Scooorrrrrrres!

All Head
No Shaft

1/25/04

The Pits
01/09/01

THE PITS:

"I've decided to retire from the necklace making/giving that I have been doing for many years. I am looking for one of our new, more involved hashers to cary on this tradition. Many Hashes have become jealous and have tried to copy but all of the H4 necklaces are originals and can not be duplicated by purchasing these lettered beads.   I am holding the necklaces for Dos Mas and Prickly Bush until such time that I see them again.  

The following names have received necklaces: 

AKA Joe, All Wet Bush, Ass Grabber, Anus Flytrap, Altered Boy, Any Position, Barbie, Bare Ass Burn, Baby Huey, Bald Eagle, Ball Whacker, Beetle Juice, Balut, Bed Swapper, Better F**k, Betty Boob, Better Meat Bidet Bitch, Bildo-Dildo, Blue Balls, Bone Snatcher, Boy George, Buck-A-Suck, Buffalo, Bump Slut, Bush Snapper, Cadaver Diver, Can't Hound, Catamite, Choo Choo, CIA, Cock Ring, Cocker, Cornhole, Crack Filler, Craft, Cums Happily, Dick Head, Dickless Tracy, Dick Chaser, Digital Input, Eargasm, EZ-Fag, Finger F**k, Fire Tunnel, Full Service, Geek, Gas Light, Gives It Away, Goes Both Ways, Gravity Sucks, Great Kahuna, Grind Slut, Hairy Palms, Half Moon, Handcream, Happy Dangler, High Maintenance, Hog Straddler, Hooter Bill, Horny Dog, Hot Poker, Iscream, Jiffy Lube, John Boy, K-Y Bitch, Late Cummer, Lazy Worm, Limp Noodle, Lorna Dunes, Luft Schwein, Man Handler, Man Wholer, Master Chugger, Mighty Mouse, Molester, Mr. Magoo, Muscle Phaahrt, Muscle Twat, Nippstick, Norma Jeane, Not Nice Hole, Panty Boy, Pinball, Pipes, Poodle Prick, Pussy Tosser, Putrefied Penis, Red Snapper, Roll Model, Roller Balls, Rootless, S&M Vibrator, Saran Crap, Scud, Seaman, Shut Up Chuck, Silent Dick, Silent Pee, Sinbad, Slick Fifty, Slutt Butt, Slumbag, Small Johnson, Smelly Trench, Smail Trail, Steaming Bush, Sticky Lips, Subhuman, Such-A-Puss, Thai'd One, Thanks For The Mammaries, The, Thump Thump, Tiger Bum, Token Poken Choken, Tonka Fuck, Treasure Chest, Turtle Brains, Twirly Man, Two Screws, Under Study, Vaseline Alley, Vibratits, Vicar Licker, Wet Conck, Yeastie Boy and Zoltan. If you got this far, you're wondering why I'm writing to you."

Hairy Palms
11/11/00

Any of a group of "Elementary Particles" that have integral values of the quantum mechanical property called spin and are gregarious in that an unlimited number of them can exist in the same quantum state.

Didn't help much did it?  Be happy, you are very familiar with the affects of one of them; Photons. Yes, light is a manifestation of a type of Boson. Still confused? You should be. Another is currently being proposed; the Graviton. Yeah, the Physics dudes want to blame gravity on another Boson. Another that you probably have not heard of is the Gluon. Rejoice at it's existence! What you are, at the most fundamental level, would have no reason to remain together without them.

From school, we should be familiar with atoms. They are made of electron, protons and neutrons. There is a field of physics that is involved with what those particles are made of and how they work. Both physicists and mathematicians (aka, NERDS; Not Exactly Real Dam Smart) are staying busy in this research. This is the "small" side of Scott Hawking's Grand Unified Theory (GUT). They want to tie the very large, Cosmology, with the very small, Particle Physics, so that we can have one Theory of Everything (TOE). Unfortunately, GUT has become so enormous that TOE has been lost from sight. With TOE insight, they could identify what happened when the Universe began; i.e. Big Bang Theory( B2T). Then the real work would start. B2T leads to the ultimate goal; development of the Cold-Fusion Beer Accelerator Reactor (Co-FuBAR). An empty beer mug with Co-FuBAR properly installed will spontaneously refill when slammed against your head. NERDS need GUT so they can invent the Co-FuBAR to reach nirvana. Once nirvana is attained, they say "NE!", graduate to RDS and zzzzzz the rest of the night, all 30 minutes of it. Without the Co-FuBAR, they just wake-up with a headache thinking they were singularly FuBAR'd in a fight.

Seriously (don't read this unless you really need a Beer):
Quantum Mechanics indicate that electrons, protons and neutrons are made of ever smaller "stuff" called elementary particles. There are 3 categories; Leptons, Quarks and Bosons. Leptons and Quarks are Fermions, the basic constituents of matter. Bosons are the particles that transmit the fundamental forces of nature between fermions. Bosons include Photons, Gluons, W & Z Particles, and the hypothetical Graviton. Bose-Einstein statistics (don't ask) describe how they work in large groups to create the forces of nature. Photons are responsible for electromagnetics; i.e. light. Gluons are responsible for the Strong Interaction Force that bind proton and neutrons together in an atom. W & Z Particles generate the Weak Interaction Force that is responsible for radioactivity. Gravity has created enormous problems with GUT. Due to the beer slamming, TOE is out of sight so, the Graviton is beyond all recognition.

Special Note for those DFW Lurkers:
The DFW Hash might have become the KoNDom Hash; King of NERDom Hash if the SSC had been finished. The Superconducting Supercollider (SSC), which began construction in 1989, was to be the world's largest proton accelerator, encircling Waxahachie, Tex. (30 mi S of Dallas), with its 54-mi oval main ring. The U.S. Congress killed the project in 1993. A

smaller proton collider is planned for CERN, outside Geneva, Switzerland. With CERN, Europe is trying to gain NERD superiority to achieve mutually assured Co-FuBAR'dness in case GUT collapses and TOE is crushed.

Understand?.... Good,