Pooper Bowl History
by Will He Peter & Halfmoon

(Click links below for pictures)
 
 This tradition was started by Armadildo Dundee.
 
1987 - THE FIRST RECIPIENT WAS SCUM PUPPY
 
He was enthroned upon a portable bedpan found in the bushes on that same Hash Run, and wheeled around the parking lot at a high rate of  speed.  And the Hash found this good.  He was ritually doused with beer.  And he was cold, and it was good. 
 
1987 ½ - SWEET ASS (aka Head Czech, aka Crippled Bitch)
 
We decided to give out the Pooperbowl in the summer.  Nobody remembers why.  Sweet Ass was the first to be enthroned upon a new Pooperbowl, an actual ceramic toilet on wheels.  And we did wheel her around the parking lot on her throne at a high rate of speed, and it was good. 
 
1988 - NUMZIT 
 
So named because she paralyzed the lips of the original Pooperbowl recipient, Scum Puppy The First, thus curing him once and for all of unsolicited toe-sucking.   And she did that very night drop the Pooperbowl on her foot, causing massive injury and many months of reconstructive surgery.  And thus was the Pooperbowl  baptized in the blood of the Hash, and were the gods of  Toe Sucking appeased. 
 
1989 - WILL HE PETER

Was the first to be anointed with a melange of food prepared especially by Glass Blower, including pasta, ketchup, fish heads, mayonnaise and ranch style beans.  He was then basted with peanut butter.  And it was good.  And Bayou Beaver was so moved by the spectacle, that she did puke in the hedges. 
 

1990 - POWER TOOL

And the Harriettes that Power Tool dated were invited to step forward and cover him with food, and their numbers were legion, and too did several male Hashers step forward, claiming to have dated Power Tool. He was made to assume the seat of ease.  And when they were done, he was for that day called Power  Stool.  And the Hash thought this good. 
 

1991 - COCKER 

We come now to the modern incarnation of the Pooperbowl, donated by Power Tool.  And the names were thus recorded on its surface.  And Cocker did strip down to her underwear to be anointed with food product.   And a hasher shoved a handful of pasta into her panties, creating an impressive bulge.  And the Hash found this good. 
 

1992 - LOW BLOW 

And the Pooperbowl was put on wheels by Pussy Tosser.  And Low Blow was propelled around the parking lot at a high rate of speed by Cocker.  Urged on by some inner demon, Cocker shoved him into a bush of nettles.  It was there Low Blow suffered a tragic accident to his manhood, and was thereafter known as “Lola Blowla”. 
 

1993 - SLAMMER 

And Slammer did bring to the Pooperbowl something it had never had before:  Modesty.  Refusing to remove her blouse, we hosed her with food product, and used our imaginations, which were as bountiful as her bosom. 
 

1994 - GONAD THE BARBARIAN 

And Gonad was the first to be covered by vengeful Harriettes with green spaghetti.  And a Harriette did stuff his shorts with the spaghetti, creating an impressive bulge.  And the Hash said it was good.   And a Harriette did go down on him in front of us all. 
 

1995 - SMALL JOHNSON 

The following  year, Gonad did break with tradition and not award the Pooperbowl to a Hasher of the opposite sex.  And the Hash found this borderline homosexual, and proclaimed it good.  And it was once again below freezing, and Small Johnson did strip down to his panties.  And Gonad did take his time as Small was turned into a human taco. 
 

1996 - STOP 'N BLOW 

Stop 'n Blow, being blessed by the Hash gods, caused Small Johnson to declare that it was well and good that she should be made up like a Texas Barbeque.  And Stop ‘n Blow did remove her blouse,  and the Hash did prepare a forty pound Barbeque upon her breasts, and it was good, and everybody did feed from it.....And there was room for seconds..... 
 

1997 - SUCH A PUSS 
 
And Such-A-Puss did steal Stop 'n Blow's Texas Barbeque bra, after tricking her into cleaning up at his place.  The next year he reappeared with said bra and bestowed it upon Stop'n Blow with much pagentry.  However, the joke was on him, for he did not know that Stop'n Blow had already selected him as the next pooperbowl recipient.  He was enthtroned upon the pooperbowl and made into a human pizza.  The hash saw this and it was good.   
 
1998 - PIPES
And Such-a-Puss did much soul searching to find the next pooperbowl recipient, Pipes.  It was decided that a distinguished Hammersley Hasher of his caliber deserved some type of recognition.  And Pipes was made to strip down to his shorts and became a pancake, the favorite breakfast treat of Such-A-Puss.  And the harriets did douse him with milk, oil, eggs, and flour.  And after he was a made in the likeness of a pancake, the harriets did add syrup, butter, and orange juice.  And there came to be an impressive bulge not only in the front of his shorts from the butter, but equally so in the back of his shorts from the syrup bottle.  And the hash looked at this and deemed it to be good.  
 
1999 - HIGH MAINTENANCE
 

  The beautiful winner(?) took her place on the throne as Pipes explained that on this great day HM would be turned into a human vegemite sandwich. And it was good. To help assuage their disappointment the runners up were given the task of cooking the sandwich as Pipes read the recipe. Never have there been women so eager to cook. The ingredients were added to High Maintenance, lovingly administered by HM’s friends: flour, oil, eggs, butter and of course the Vegemite. The main ingredient did smell a bit strange, but we could tell that High Maintenance loved every moment of it. Pipes said no vegemite sandwich would be complete without a beer, so HM got 2 full Foster’s—on her head.

2000 - ROLLER BALLS

Continuing in the tradition of picking someone completely not expecting to get the Pooper Bowl "award"... High Maintenance passed the Pooper on to Roller Balls. Being from SanAntonio and in Fiesta kinda of mood. HM made Roller into a Human Fiesta. Complete with Candied syrup and confetti. It was quite a sticky mess. 

 

2001 - HALFMOON

. As Roller was just about to get ready to announce his pick, Halfmoon quickly moved in place with his camera to get a good shot of the new winner. He was however hit from the blind side by the crafty Roller Balls when to the surprise of everyone Roller announced that Halfmoon was indeed the winner of the 2001 Pooper Bowl Award!

Roller Balls then informed the crowd that since hashing was so dear to him and played such an important roll in his life he was going to turn our beloved Halfmoon into a human hash trail. Condiments that were generously spread and poured on Halfmoon were flour, a jug of black liquid shiggy, leaves, beer, cookies, bananas, peanut butter, salsa and of course, tortilla's. Halfmoon was then given the traditional Pooper Bowl down-down by placing his head in the box and having his down-down poured through the toilet seat.

 

2002 - PUMP ME

Pooper Bowl XVI, Poultrygiest.... Pump Me was the surprise "winner". Always the bride's maid, never the bride... that's what they all said. Pump Me (pictured as the "helper" many years past. Now was the payback. Pump Me was brought out into circle with two other PACKERS FANS, Slumbag and Tuna Delight. What do Packers do? ...they pack meat. Pump Me was awarded with this year's food entree: TURDUCKEN

Yes, she was stuffed with Duck (in her granny panties), cornish hens in her BRA, top with stuffing consisting of puree'd onions, celery, LIVER, and bread crumbs. This was all topped off with a Pooperbowl helmet... an 18-lb TURKEY... thus TURDUCKEN.

Halfmoon did a major upgrade to the Pooper. Two beer stand were added, one on either side, adorned the American Flags and St. Arnolds tap handles. Finally, as a personal signature, a Half Moon was cut out of the side next to the Pooper Paper roll holder.

2003 - Donut Holer

Pooper Bowl XVII, Tailgate Party....


Last year's PooperBowl "Winner", Pump Me, brought out the PooperBowl, with a newly added "magazine rack" supposedly to store Hash Trash for reading while on the thrown. The weather was COLD, BITING COLD! Nobody wanted it. It reminded us of the 1992 Pooperbowl when Lola Blowla nearly suffered hypothermia when made into a human ice cream sundae in freezing conditions. Pump Me was treated much better than usual. The men were cautiously nervous. Wankers (you know who you are!) stayed home.

Donut Holer was seated on his new thrown and made into a football Tailgate Party. He was dressed with a Cheezy Tie, Mustard, Catsup, Cole Slaw, Chips, Mayonaise, Hot dogs, and the meal was washed down with BEER. Shivering with blue lips, Donut Holer was spared laying down in the 40 degree mud and doing the traditional DownDown.

 

Thanks to Saran Crap for Keeping the History of the Pooper '87 thru '98