He was enthroned upon a portable bedpan found in the bushes on that same Hash Run, and wheeled around the parking lot at a high rate of speed. And the Hash found this good. He was ritually doused with beer. And he was cold, and it was good. We decided to give out the Pooperbowl in the summer. Nobody remembers why. Sweet Ass was the first to be enthroned upon a new Pooperbowl, an actual ceramic toilet on wheels. And we did wheel her around the parking lot on her throne at a high rate of speed, and it was good. So named because she paralyzed the lips of the original Pooperbowl recipient, Scum Puppy The First, thus curing him once and for all of unsolicited toe-sucking. And she did that very night drop the Pooperbowl on her foot, causing massive injury and many months of reconstructive surgery. And thus was the Pooperbowl baptized in the blood of the Hash, and were the gods of Toe Sucking appeased. Was the first to be anointed with a
melange of food prepared especially by Glass Blower, including pasta,
ketchup, fish heads, mayonnaise and ranch style beans. He was
then basted with peanut butter. And it was good. And Bayou
Beaver was so moved by the spectacle, that she did puke in the hedges.
And the Harriettes that Power Tool
dated were invited to step forward and cover him with food, and their
numbers were legion, and too did several male Hashers step forward,
claiming to have dated Power Tool. He was made to assume the seat of
ease. And when they were done, he was for that day called Power
Stool. And the Hash thought this good. We come now to the modern incarnation
of the Pooperbowl, donated by Power Tool. And the names were thus
recorded on its surface. And Cocker did strip down to her underwear
to be anointed with food product. And a hasher shoved a
handful of pasta into her panties, creating an impressive bulge.
And the Hash found this good. And the Pooperbowl was put on wheels
by Pussy Tosser. And Low Blow was propelled around the parking
lot at a high rate of speed by Cocker. Urged on by some inner
demon, Cocker shoved him into a bush of nettles. It was there
Low Blow suffered a tragic accident to his manhood, and was thereafter
known as “Lola Blowla”. And Slammer did bring to the Pooperbowl
something it had never had before: Modesty. Refusing to
remove her blouse, we hosed her with food product, and used our imaginations,
which were as bountiful as her bosom. And Gonad was the first to be covered
by vengeful Harriettes with green spaghetti. And a Harriette did
stuff his shorts with the spaghetti, creating an impressive bulge.
And the Hash said it was good. And a Harriette did go down
on him in front of us all. The following year, Gonad did
break with tradition and not award the Pooperbowl to a Hasher of the
opposite sex. And the Hash found this borderline homosexual, and
proclaimed it good. And it was once again below freezing, and
Small Johnson did strip down to his panties. And Gonad did take
his time as Small was turned into a human taco. Stop 'n Blow, being blessed by the
Hash gods, caused Small Johnson to declare that it was well and good
that she should be made up like a Texas Barbeque. And Stop ‘n
Blow did remove her blouse, and the Hash did prepare a forty pound
Barbeque upon her breasts, and it was good, and everybody did feed from
it.....And there was room for seconds..... The beautiful winner(?) took her place on the throne as Pipes explained that on this great day HM would be turned into a human vegemite sandwich. And it was good. To help assuage their disappointment the runners up were given the task of cooking the sandwich as Pipes read the recipe. Never have there been women so eager to cook. The ingredients were added to High Maintenance, lovingly administered by HMs friends: flour, oil, eggs, butter and of course the Vegemite. The main ingredient did smell a bit strange, but we could tell that High Maintenance loved every moment of it. Pipes said no vegemite sandwich would be complete without a beer, so HM got 2 full Fosterson her head. |
2000 - ROLLER BALLS Continuing in the tradition of picking someone completely not expecting to get the Pooper Bowl "award"... High Maintenance passed the Pooper on to Roller Balls. Being from SanAntonio and in Fiesta kinda of mood. HM made Roller into a Human Fiesta. Complete with Candied syrup and confetti. It was quite a sticky mess.
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2001 - HALFMOON . As Roller was just about to get ready to announce his pick, Halfmoon quickly moved in place with his camera to get a good shot of the new winner. He was however hit from the blind side by the crafty Roller Balls when to the surprise of everyone Roller announced that Halfmoon was indeed the winner of the 2001 Pooper Bowl Award! Roller Balls then informed the crowd
that since hashing was so dear to him and played such an important
roll in his life he was going to turn our beloved Halfmoon into a
human hash trail. Condiments that were generously spread and poured
on Halfmoon were flour, a jug of black liquid shiggy, leaves, beer,
cookies, bananas, peanut butter, salsa and of course, tortilla's.
Halfmoon was then given the traditional Pooper Bowl down-down by placing
his head in the box and having his down-down poured through the toilet
seat.
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Pooper Bowl XVI, Poultrygiest.... Pump Me was the surprise "winner". Always the bride's maid, never the bride... that's what they all said. Pump Me (pictured as the "helper" many years past. Now was the payback. Pump Me was brought out into circle with two other PACKERS FANS, Slumbag and Tuna Delight. What do Packers do? ...they pack meat. Pump Me was awarded with this year's food entree: TURDUCKEN Yes, she was stuffed with Duck (in her granny panties), cornish hens in her BRA, top with stuffing consisting of puree'd onions, celery, LIVER, and bread crumbs. This was all topped off with a Pooperbowl helmet... an 18-lb TURKEY... thus TURDUCKEN. Halfmoon did a major upgrade to the Pooper. Two beer stand were added, one on either side, adorned the American Flags and St. Arnolds tap handles. Finally, as a personal signature, a Half Moon was cut out of the side next to the Pooper Paper roll holder. |
Pooper Bowl XVII, Tailgate Party....
Donut Holer was seated on his new thrown and made into a football Tailgate Party. He was dressed with a Cheezy Tie, Mustard, Catsup, Cole Slaw, Chips, Mayonaise, Hot dogs, and the meal was washed down with BEER. Shivering with blue lips, Donut Holer was spared laying down in the 40 degree mud and doing the traditional DownDown. |