Category Archives: Fun stuff

Nonsense, silliness and appropriate hash behavior.

Houston Says: Goodbye and Good Riddance!

The wanker Vote for Pedro has decided to leave. Not only will he be forgotten, but he will not be missed. Have fun paying $20 for NYC hashes. And tell that @$$ I Am Cumstain to bring back the Hash Shit or else!

Did we ever tell you that we hate your f@*king face? Well if we didn’t, we’re telling you now!

(No, but seriously, we will miss you VFP! Come back to visit!)

Vote for get off our island!

H4 Run #1715 – T3 and 2 Virgins Run

Hares – Tai Tai Toy, prescription Mud In My Crick, Ramrod
Virgins – 3
Visitors – 2
Total Hashers – 81

Quote of the run: “Heartache did not short cut! He zen-hashed the trail!” –Heartache

Freezing. Of all the runs I can remember, this first Sunday of 2011 was a cold one. Indeed, the hares warned of a chilly ending, but not an @$$ freezer! Tai Tai Toy promised to sacrifice Mud and Ramrod to the hash gods “Shanghai Style” which brought out over 80 people in pure curiosity. They promised a 4-5 mile trail of urban and mixed shiggy and some holy guacamole a la CSI. We began at the Full Moon parking lot, and took a little trip into the Memorial wilderness. Hounds off at 2:30 sharp!

Now, dear hashers, your reverent and endearing On-Sec was running a wide version of the Memorial Loop earlier in the day while training for the Houston Marathon (what a rac*st), and found, what looked to be flour. Let me recount the tale…
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H4 Run #1713 – Festivus

Hares – Grind Slut, Ass Wipe, Charity Fuck
Virgins – 10
Visitors – 5
Total Hashers – 80
Quote of the run:
“It’s a Festivus miracle!”

Feats of strength! Airing of grievances! The aluminum pole! Such is the Festivus tradition brought to you yearly (and frequently by Grind Slut). This year, your hares suckered another nubile female virgin into their religious zeal. This was an apparent attempt to deflour Charity Fuck. Last year it was Circle Jerk. My how they move on quick! The hares promised a 4 mile run, the pinning of the heads (who said head?!), and other acrobatic amusement…little did they know…Festivus would take a turn for the long.

The trail began in Memorial Park, as most good things do, with a swoop around the Fruit Loop and into oncoming cyclist traffic. We passed near the ending of last year’s Festivus run, shed a tear for when we tied I Am Cumstain to the pole, and moved along, skimming Memorial before touching along Hooter Bill’s favorite shiggy. You know the one patch of shiggy by Arnot? The one so frequently used, we stopped leaving money for it on the dresser? The patch of shiggy who is so battered, we keep telling her we don’t mean it and that we just get so angry sometimes?  That one. Needless to say, the shiggy forgave us once more and we trailed along the road instead until heading towards the highway. A breeze washed over us on Washington, and the faint smell of Sunday afternoon douchebags wafted on the air. It smelled faintly of old pickles and Axe body spray. Good times.
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