H4 Run #1686 — If you have Google Earth installed, click the link to see the map from Dr. Coochie’s run.

Legend:
Rancid A =Red
Le PC = Yellow
Heartache = White
McPisser – Purple

If you are a member of Hashspace, click the image above to see pics from the run.

Trail stats:
88 hounds, including 6 new boots

Dr. Coochie did the hash right by sponsoring a birthday keg earlier in the month. But wait there’s more! This past hot Sunday afternoon, she also hared a trail in honor of her birthday! Dr. Coochie worked her magic to get Pull the Plug to co-hare with her.

The Hash met in the Ross parking lot south of town, off Beltway 8. We did not see a lot of shiggy when we first pulled up, but we know that it does not take long to get off-road in that part of town. Dr. Coochie gave the chalk talk. Usual marks for trail were advertised. Trail was to be marked in flour. The hares advertised a 4.2 mile hash. Since this would be my 5th hash trail for the weekend, I decided that an easy pace on that length trail would be ok, especially with a thoughtful water check. A walkers’ trail was also offered.

At the beginning of the trail we came across some urban shiggy, after that came some greenbelt areas. There was one water check on trail. But with a little shortcutting, some of us were sad that we missed the water! I was near Rain Bitch and just Hayden on trail. After Hayden faithfully decided not to shortcut, it gave Rain Bitch a chance to start throwing around some names for him. Trail worked its way around to a bicycle trail and ended in a subdivision. Hmmm, looks awful familiar. The On-In was at Butt Pirate’s house! With a nice cool pool and two kegs of beer, nothing could be finer!

The RA’s decided to circle up in the center of the pool. Pull the Plug went to pick up pizza for the hash, so the RA’s waited to call in the hares. Hooter Bill found the end just after circle started, but announced that the hash should wait for him to arrive to start circle. We had two visitors present. Pinball was accused a few times, but she used Geek as a surrogate drinker each time. She also donned swim attire to attract the male attention. Mammories of a Geisha was accused of wearing her little sister’s swimsuit. McPisser called Butt Pirate to the circle. While the two of them ran trail together, the whole time Butt Pirate professed that the ending was not at his house. Lier!

We had two naming. Just Greg was named “CSI” = Can’t Stop Inhaling. Hayden was named “Mighty Mighty Small Bone” having to do with a tattoo on his leg. The hash tried to name Maurice, but they were tabled, waiting for just the perfect name. Seems like he has been hashing a while, without being named. Sounds like someone else I know.

The recovering Pull the Plug called out Dr. Coochie to the circle. Since he recently had surgery, he was depending on his co-hare to be gentle on him. But not Dr. Coochie! She had him scouting trail and he ended waist deep in mud. Not a good thing for his recent surgery!

Pizza came in during the circle and distracted a few from the festivities, but soon all came back to focus. Once the two kegs were dry, a vote was taken and the hash decided to pitch in for a “B-double E-double R-U–N” and have the on-on-on at Butt Pirate’s pool.

Check the Flickr group for photos from the Pirate’s Hash and Campout!

So, there we were in shiggy up to here…. Start of this trail was pushed back a bit due to the hashline being down, but even though that happened we still had a good turnout. The pack gathered for chalk-talk and virgins were introduced.

To read the rest of the report, along with pictures, click here.

Kind of like a reverse evolution picture

A couple of photos from the Cock & Balls Unplugged hash. See more photos here.

pack at 1st water crossing

So many long hours and lots of hard work went into making the H4 Marathon Mile a success. As a first year runner of the half marathon, I can say that that hard work did not go unnoticed. Knowing that our peeps and cold beer was close to the end of the race showing their support was what kept us going. Thanks, everyone!

The marathon after-party was at The Brewery Tap on Franklin, where they served up free pizza and a keg of brown ale. Hashers gathered from some pre-run beer, telling stories of the race and hash mile and admiring medals.

D!ckhead and Pull the Plug took some awesome pictures of this year’s Marathon Mile. Click the image above to see DH’s. Click the image below to see PTP’s.

Powertool and Will He Peter were the hares for this post-marathon run, which started at the bar. We were impressed with the racists who were also running the hash. I’m a ween, so I did not. Below are the trail highlights from guest scribe, Beat My Meat.

~The trail headed north from The Brewery Tap over buffalo bayou. Trail was found up the stairs and over main street were the pack would get a foreshadowing look at the Allen’s Landing end to come. Through old industrial area and on-on south across the bayou, the racist pack then found itself heading back towards the start where trail became scarce. Then a whistle blows, and we are on-in at Allen’s Landing. The end was traditional although some of the pack was temporarily confused by thinking the end may be at the new brewery.~

A delicious frosty keg of Winter Stout was awaiting the arrival of the hounds, as well as the usual table of hash snacks. B*tt Pirate started the circle, and immediately, kudos were given to WoWMoMWoW and Hairy Palms and the Chevron Houston Marathon race officials. Just Brandt was given the name “Ma*xy Pad” with no vote needed.

Our beloved Klosit Phreek passed the Hash*t on to the always naughty Easy to Please. Handle with care. Klosit Phreek, we will miss you while you are away!! Stay safe and as they say in Porter, don’t take no sh*t off nobody!

Beat My Meat was offended because he thought Pull the Plug was running to take his photo while the half marathon, then realized that PTP was snapping pics of the Zumba dancers by mile 11. Can’t fault him for that, but PTP still did a down-down.

EZ to Plz told us that we were dumb to think that she would wear new shoes to her first 5k race, yet the consensus of the crowd was that, yes, they were indeed new! McP, who had stepped in for B*tt Pirate, gave her the choice of drinking out of her pristine new shoe, or drink from Will He Peter’s big black orthopedic shoe. She chose poorly. Thanks for lending her your shoe, WHP.

Someone overheard Big Wet Hole threaten Just Ken that if he told on her for having new shoes, there would be no h*ead tonight. That someone tattled, and proposed the name “No H*ead Tonight” for Just Ken. Too good to pass up! I also added that if she had to drink from her new shoe, that it needed to be the one that had blood on it from an injured toenail. McP proposed that “No H*ead Tonight” do the down-down on her behalf out of her bloody new shoe. Good things.

The circle had a war over the proposed names for Just Stan, marathon course director. Choices were Totem Scr*tem or something with the “C” word. There were a few other suggestions, but truly, we would never see this man again if his name included the c word. He went down as Just Stan, and he rose as Totem Scr*tem.

In the midst of all of the hash shenanigans, Pull the Plug caught a prize-winning picture of Hooter posing with some lovelies at the very moment he’d been shucked. In the photo, you can distinctly see Hooter’s… EVERYTHING. Someone, please make t-shirts.

The on-on-on continued back at The Brewery Tap. Exhausted, BM2 and I took it to the house.

On-on to the Haiti Relief Rogue Hash, the Full Moon hash and 8″ Crack’s B-day hash!

Hugs & Kisses,
Really? F*@k!!

After a long weekend of indulging in Maredsous 8, Allagash and BM2′s hella strong homebrew, I had a fever, and the only prescription was more cowbell… and the TRUE hangover hash!

Pull the Prick Out was in town for the holidays from France, so she teamed up with our super harriette, Brrrrrgghh and beer b*tch, NARC, to lay an urban trail on this cloudy, wintry Sunday before she heads home. The hounds met at the Harley Davidson parking lot at 1960 and 290 for a 3:00pm start, freezing our nips off waiting for chalk talk.

Finally, the hashers were off. Running through a neighborhood, the checks were easily solved by the FRBs, who had instructions to run to the back of the pack when they came to a fishhook marking. I understand that Saran Crap was the only one who ran back, and he only ran halfway back. Good luck enforcing those kind of rules with the hash…

Along the bayou, through the neighborhood, over a high fence, Easy to Please and Just Jarrod were ahead of me at a water crossing where we saw the last mark. I blindly followed them because they saw runners ahead at one point. We found a mark a half mile away hidden in a flower bed, then on top of a low brick wall. Wandering, and more wandering, on-on through a soggy field, through another hood, and across the street until we bump into Geek.

He sent us in the right general direction, but since we were not on flour, we were flying blind. ID10T and EZ to Plz found a plop, and we headed down the bank of another water feature, but there was no flour to be found.

The back of the pack caught up to us, called us ugly names, and found trail back and on the other side of the water feature. Through a Home Depot parking lot, we see the end across a swampy field. I managed to keep my feet dry through the whole run, mostly, but f*@k it. BEER NEAR!

I missed out on the bananas, so I had to settle for the chocolate truffles and a mini pecan pie. Mmmm! There was quite an assortment of delicacies, and the hares provided a keg of St. Arnold’s Winter Stout (yum), along with Geek and Lorna’s leftover p*ss beer from the New Year’s Day Hangover Hash.

B*tt Pirate was off cheering for his little football team, so Mama’s Boy stepped in to RA. With the robust beer being sucked down by the pint, the crowd of over 50 was lively.

Brrrrrgghh and Pull the Prick Out took their accusations like a couple of champs, and with all of that girl power, they dismissed NARC as the beer b*tch that he was, not letting him drink with the hares. Poor NARC!

EZ to Plz tried really hard to name Just Jarrod, who smashed his hoo-ha’s on the fence crossing. Evidently, Just Jarrod is a singer, so she proposed “High C” or “Choir Boy”, but nothing stuck. Many others were tossed about, including “Rusty Taint”, “Tainted Hole”, etc, etc. Talk amongst yourselves. We’ll discuss it later.

Just Kelsey was accused of not running the full trail, and being pushed in a Target grocery cart for about 200 yards. Glad He Ate Her was accused of being the pusher, but received a beer refill and was congratulated for “acceptable hash behavior”. The EZ to Plz family tried with all of their might to name Just Kelsey, but there is no family namings in the hash!

The former Just Ali was named at the Blue Moon hash, so her hash name was blessed at the H4 hash. She went down as Just Ali, and she rose as “C*rcle Jerk”. Mama’s Boy was careful not to get her hip, yet non-hashing attire stained with the dark beer.

Pleather Balls was accused of eating it on trail, as well as a few other lame accusations. A*$wipe was confused by the 2 pair of ample pink ta-tas in the circle. Vote for Pedro was accused of being a “young’n”.

Klosit Phreek told a lovely tale of her boyfriend, Just Steve, en route to the hash, offering her a weak a*s Bud light when she wanted a brass monkey, and that his drink of choice, being a bartender and all, is a strawberry daquiry. McP*sser suggested the name “Da-queer-y”… hilarious, but it was tabled.

Tap Dat A*$ was lost on trail, so NARC and Pull the Prick Out went in search of. They had found her by the time we made it back to the start to go to the on-on-on. Mama’s Boy saved the day.

Freezing and semi-dr*nk, we stumbled our way to the nearby Brewskies for the on-on-on, where hungry hashers could order a sandwich at the bar to be delivered from the Texadelphia sandwich shop next door. Fun, fun and more fun! So much that BM2 and I realized after 10 minutes on the road home that we had not closed out our bar tab… back to the bar.

Thanks, Brrrrgghh, Pull the Prick Out, and NARC for a fun hashing day! Safe traveling to you, Pull the Prick Out! Till next time!

On-on to the Backwards Hash and less than 2 weeks of R*ACE training!

Your dieting scribe,
Really?? F*@k!!!

See EZ to PLZ’s pictures here.

From A$$wipe:

Thanks to all who celebrated the beautiful weather with us. I believe the final count was 107 attendees, including about a dozen newboots. Special thanks to my co-hares for the great day, and a very special thank you to St Arnolds brewery for providing the hash with a pre-release keg of Winter Stout. You won’t see that beer in the stores until after Christmas. Thanks to Laura for starting the Indian Leg Wrestling addition to our Feats of Strength…it was truly a contest in which everyone won.

Tired and happy,
‘Swipe

From Pull the Plug:

The Festivus run had the largest turnout this year. We had 92 paying hashers, 3 hares, and 14 new boots. The facebook posting was a great idea. I think it really helped attendance.
And since Grind was able to get the St Arnold’s keg free, the hash made money, which we really needed to support our Spring Campout. Yea…..way to go hares.

McPisser’s pictures here. EZ to PLZ’s pictures are here.