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H4 1693 Monday Night

Hash Trash #1693 – Deep in the Shape of Texas

Hares: Master Chugger, Dumpster Digger, and Roller Balls
Hounds: 87
Virgins: 7
Visitors: 1

Quote of the Run, “Guess someone’s wedding didn’t go according to plan!” –Master Chugger about the appearance of On-In wedding cake.

Given that many out of town hash events were going on the weekend of August 14 – 15, the Houston Hash was treated to an old school hash – running on a Monday night! And given the heat lately, it was a welcome return to running on a Monday evening. Our seasoned hares gave us a great fairly easy run running a twisting, winding, curving trail that took us through Rice Military skirting the eastern edge of Memorial Park and back across Washington Avenue.

The pack met at what was once Otto’s BBQ on Memorial Drive, just east of Memorial Park. The pack met at 7 p.m., the hares gave us the usual chalk talk, and the pack was off at 7:30 pm! Many of us tried to second guess where the trail would take us. Would this take us into the Ho Chi Minh Trails? Nope! Would we run on the pedestrian bridge crossing I-10? Wrong again!

After running near Happy Meal Park, we crossed back over Westcott and ran through the neighborhoods surrounding the Washington Corridor. Several front runners, like Low Profile, paralleled true trail for a while, then figured out where trail was ultimately going and ended up back in the front. For once, McPisser actually ran true trail, while some others shortcutted some of the doo loops.

Buttery Nipples, our prodigal harriette, returned from working in New Orleans for a while and brought her new friend with her, whom we named Ass Sole Man, given that he ran barefoot. ASM even did a barefoot shake with Twinkle Toes, his shoeless compadre in the circle.
As it turned out, true trail was roughly the shape of the state of Texas. Very creative, hares! Trail ended up just off Memorial Drive near the Depelchin Center on a Spaceway. We had a few new boots, a few reboots, and a great circle. Somebody even brought leftover wedding and groom’s cakes that was enjoyed by the masses.

On-On to more cake!
Rain Bitch & the MM

Hash Trash  #1692

Stumble through Humble Hash

3 hares

10 virgins

126 regular hashers

It has been a while since we had a “Stumble through Humble”, so the hash was excited to take the journey up North East for a fine shaggy hash. In fact the last time that we had a Stumble up there was when we had our “I am Cum Stain” in town. Sure wish that he could make it to the hash. But wait! He is here! It’s a hash miracle. Cum Stain is in town for the Rumble through Humble hash!

The hash met in the Lowe’s parking lot on 1960, very close to Beltway 8.  We were gathering up for the start of the hash when, boom! the clouds opened up and soaked us! I borrowed a hat from MOM, Cum-puss borrowed my shoes, and I wondered how much other stuff was borrowed to make hashers comfortable to run in the rain.

About the time for the start of  The Stumble, the rain came to a drizzle.  Heartache, NARC and Twinkle Toes were our wonderful hares. Heartache announced the trail marked in flour and orange (biodegradable) tape.  One dangle for “on”, two dangles for “check”. And even better, no falses!  A trail of about five miles was announced. And yes, a yummy beer check would be on trail, advertised to be around the half way point.

Trail had all kinds of wonderful terrain; dirt trails, streams, uneven land, tree roots, utility lines, vines, swampy land, and a much unexpected sandy area. There were a few chances for a little shortcutting, but not a lot. The turkey-eagle split came just in time to allow for the back of the pack to catch up with the front runners. Another fine opportunity for the pack to come together was at the beer check.

One of my favorite checks of the trail was with two pieces of orange tape dangling above an abandoned upside-down car. At this point, I think that the hares also offered a shortcut across a lake, but luckily we found the trail thanks to Pull the Plug. The muddy/swampy area was tough to wade through but knowing that there was good beer at the end made it all worthwhile.  Toward the end of the trail there was a clearing that stumped MOM for a long time, but luckily with a few more hashers looking, we found trail. Those sneaky hares had trail continuing on the same path and not going out to the clearing. They fooled us!

Trail ended under a bridge. And here we go again. It seems like we have quite a roll going with NARC having to defend us innocent hashers from the police. NARC said those magic words and made it all fine again.  We must be getting awfully comfortable with the law, because while NARC was busy defending us, we had a fairly new hasher walking around with a jug of vodka, pretty ballsy.

As we are gathering up before circle, I also hear rumors that someone was upset for us crossing private property. Sorry, I did not get details on that entire story. I have a feeling that we might upset someone again soon

The hares did us right by providing two kegs of beer, St. Arnold Brown and Lone star. After a couple of carbacks, circle starts.  A toast to G. The hares are brought in circle to defend their trail. Ten virgins were made to pay for their crimes. Birthdays, anniversaries, visitors, reboots and we are ready for accusations.

Ewe do Her was called in for an honorary down-down for hosting a hash keg. Digital honored her with a hash necklace. Estrus was called in to tell a story for the hashit and awarded it to Ball Barker, who seemed way too eager to carry the thing. The new hashit is very empty and we can’t wait to see what Ball barker will adorn it with next week.

During circle, we were trying some new songs, a perfect opportunity for McPisser to sell some songbooks. I think by next week, we are ALL going to know the words to ALL the songs. Beer kegs ran out, but a beer run brought back some more cans to keep the fun going a little longer.

The on-on-on was announced as Hoot County, a hash favorite. In usual manner, the waitresses seemed very hash friendly. Hooter was honored by a motorboat from a rather busty waitress that was not wearing undergarments. Hooter medley broke out. Another fun favorite was Saran crap on the stripper pole. Who would have known?

It was a fun night for the hash. On-on to next week’s hash!

Now, I wasn’t aware that we would be doing heavy brush clearing, and trying to chop invasive trees down with machetes, but next time I think we’ll be better prepared with chainsaws and drills!

on-on

Grind

O.K. hashers, don’t forget that this Saturday, 10 am to noon (note: real time not hash time), is the H4/St. Arnold brewery “adopt a spot” bayou cleanup. The “spot” as it were, is the area on the south bank of the bayou just east of Jensen Drive, near the old concrete silos and along the hike & bike trail.

We’ve used this place for on-on locations in the past. Work will entail picking up trash around the area, and possibly planting a few trees, and then there will be FREE BEER with which to satisfy your thirst. So come on down, get your community service on, and earn some tasty St. Arnold beer!

Directions to cleanup location, with a couple of options after the jump:

Option 1. From I-10 headed east (which is what anyone coming from the west side of town will be doing): I-10 eastbound, exit Jensen Dr., right turn (south) on Jensen. As you cross over the bayou, look to your left and you will see the silos.

a. Just as you come off the bridge there is a small road to the left – turn on it and go down the road until you reach the silos. However, it’s a rough road so if you have a low-clearance vehicle you may want to do this:

b. stay on Jensen going south, to the stoplight intersection with Navigation street – turn left. Then turn left on LIVE OAK – about 4 streets down or so, it’s pretty close. Drive north on Live Oak until you arrive at the silos.

Option 2. If you’re coming in from the east side of town on I-10: I-10 westbound, exit Waco Dr. – turn left (south) on to Waco. Go over the bayou to Navigation – turn right. Go down Navigation to Live Oak. Take a right on LIVE OAK and again, drive until you hit the silos.

And yes, you may bring kids, parents, grandparents, virgins, etc., just let me know how many people are coming!

thanks,
Grind Slut

Joint Master

• Dick-Rectionally Challenged
• McPisser
• Burning Rubber
• Parson’s Nose

Hash Cash

• Spin Cycle
• Circle Jerk
• Tap dat Ass

On-Sec

• EZ to Plz
• Old Faithful
• Thornholio
• C 3P Holes

Religious Advisor

• Horsefli Drive-Bi
• Rain Bitch
• NARC

More information, a schedule, rego forms and a Paypal link can all be found here.

To support all your crossdressing needs!

This Saturday the Houston Hash House Harriers present the wicked re-animation of our annual RED DRESS RUN! Cum wear your sexiest red dress and show off some leg!

• Live Hares!
• Abita beer! WHO DAT?
• Piss beer for Colt’s fans!
• Foodstuffs including Ass Swipe’s illustrious Indian food!
• Men in skirts!
• Tits out for the boys!
• $5 for entry but bring extra hash cash to donate to the American Heart Association.
  (H4 is not just wankers! We’re wankers with heart!)

Meet at 3:00 pm at 919 Shepherd Houston, TX 77008 in the Big Lots/Kroger parking. Hares off @ 3:30 pm sharp. Be prepared to show your manhood through the ultra trendy, super busy Heights neighborhood!

On-on to this EPIC DAY! We promise a fun day for all!

- Ass Wipe, Easy to Please, Platterpuss, and Smelly Trench

Join Snatcha and your other H4.org contributors in raising a glass to today’s Hashiversary.

Also remember that if you decide to go without pre-registering, except for the Sunday run, you’ll be paying the $99.99 in cash since we won’t be accepting checks at the campsite. For directions, campout rules (yes, there are rules), the schedule of events and the Who’s Cumming list, click here.