I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Colonel Walter E. Kurtz’s memory any more than being back in Saigon was an accident. There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine.

Ok, so Vietnam is worlds from George Bush park but that didn’t stop our hares from treating us like Marines that day.

The run began on the southwest section of GB park in the parking lot of our OnAfter and with the overcast skies and cooler temps I was looking forward to it. As were the other hounds in attendance. I don’t know what kept some people away but this was the best trail I’ve done this year. Sorry to all the others but this one, 100% shiggy, was epic in every way.

Chalk talk was over and the hound moved north to a stout little hill with a false on top. Picture Snooki from Jersey Shore as a hill and you get the idea, kind of like a boil. Shortly after this the trail split turkey/eagle. 99% of the time I take the eagle and usually somewhere close to the end I kick my ass wishing I had done the turkey. This one was different. I ran 100 feet and immediately regretted my decision. Trail crossed over a long, wide body of water. Jumping into the water I was met with about 3+ feet of thick, stinky mud and a thin layer of water. I goose stepped as did the rest of the pack as long as they could hoping the water would get deeper at some point. For a split second a few us thought it would get easier as we saw A$$ Grabber do a swan dive into the water only to have body come to hard stop, his belly protecting the rest of his body from getting wet. His belly poking 6 inches under water. A couple more steps and a lot of us said fuck it and tried to crawl/swim/slide across the muck. I must have mentally punched the hares in the beans a thousand times at that point. Fuckers

Trail went through some nice dry shiggy splitting up the group a little bit here before coming to the second water crossing, of which I spent an extra few minutes carefully trying to scrape away any deathly bacteria from my body(I know, scrub one to get another) I love coming across regular people on runs like this. The group I was with came across a couple taking a walk through the park and watched in amazement as we gleefully jumped in the bayou without hesitation. I’m sure it gave them something to talk about during commercials breaks for Knotts Landing(Is that show still on?)

More shiggy gave way to a pipeline clearing bisecting the park north/south. I’m pretty sure we were near I-10 at this point and trail moved back south. Shortly after this the turkey and eagle trail came back together and led the beer check. I’m pretty sure the trail from there crossed the bayou again but by bridge. I wouldn’t know. I thought I saw walkers south on the pipeline clearing so I went that way. This meant I had to cross the bayou again except there was no bridge in sight. Apart from not being able to see a bridge I also couldn’t see the alligator nest signs that dotted the edge of the bayou. Fuck it. Bayou crossed I followed the pipeline down a half mile back into some amazing shiggy that went southwest. I could sense the end was near. This last part of the trail was fanfuckingtastic and also slightly depressing. At first I found it strange to find so many dead fish on the ground and then I realized that we were running through a dried up swamp. Dead Nemos aside this part was amazing and great fucking scouting by the hares. It had some great terrain and low lying, wide shade trees that offered up some relief for the home stretch. Bravo hares, bravo.

Circle was on virgin territory. In that it was in the middle of a dried up lake a quarter mile from the start. For some reason attendance was a little low for this one so the keg wasn’t killed right away but that didn’t stop some of the pack from finishing it off in the OnAfter parking lot. Speaking of the OnAfter Hooter Bill was sporting a half chub because the bar, the County Line BBQ, had a Natty Light neon sign. We all home a little satisfied that day

Thank you McP and TV for a great trail. I really hope it ends up trail of the year, it’s been my favorite so far this year

OnOn to the next one

The arrow was laid and the pack was off. Almost all followed north except for McPisser, A$$Wipe, myself, and someone faster than me, could be anyone of you, ran south towards Dick’s place. Acceptable hash behaviour! My homing device took me off their’s and the hare’s trail so I can’t tell you what it was like. I bet it was hot and urban. Pool anyone?

There were showers setup outside again and I did not see Hooter Bill anywhere near them(never surrender!!) Ass Grabber was doing what he does best, cooking up a feast. The beer was cold and so was the pool, until it got warm. People were called out for this and that. the Eagles were called out for being the worst band ever, Pluto for lying about being a planet, Olestra for that whole leaky butthole thing, the list went on and on. Ok, that might have been going on in just my head. I blame the beer, the heat and Glenn Frey.

All in all it was another successful Campbell Scramble. You can’t go wrong when your family has Dicrectionally Challenged, Horsefli Drive-by and Spin Cycle. Thanks to the hares and On On to the next one!