Houston Hash House Harriers

Hares: Asswipe and Susanna (Soon to become Death Cab for Bootie)

This run could be broken into two camps; Finished without incident or fucked by a train. I doubt anyone was in the former. I know I was fucked by so many trains that day I felt I needed to donate to the conductor retirement fund. Daddy?

The trail ended in what could best described as junkie death cult head quarters. Is that a syringe? Do I see feces? Hey, look over there, it’s placenta! I can’t imagine what heinous things have took place on that unholy parcel of land but I’m guessing an intervention wasn’t one of them.

All told, I hated both of you more and more with every step I took on the run but now that’s water under the disease infested bridge. Although I was so happy that PI was the only thing I caught that run!

H4 1752 9.04 McP & TV Reservoir

Hares: McPisser and Tender Vittles

Join the Houston Hash for the second annual Faaaallllllll Campout, during which the bravest of us will jump out of a perfectly good airplane. (Skydiving not required for campout or hash.)

The campout will take place Sept. 30-Oct. 2 at Skydive Spaceland, located about halfway between Houston and Galveston off of Highway 288 in gorgeous Rosharon, Texas.

More info here.

The pack met up for chalk talk under the billowing black skies of Deer Park. The Campbell’s laid out the marks as a plastics factory burned in the distance. Just another day in the energy capital. Prior to the race it was announced that the end would indeed be at Dickrectionally Challenged’s pool. It was a hot one that day and the pack could smell the chlorine and whatever types of hash funk removal Dick put in there. On-on for more…

Hares: McPisser and Tender Vittles

I really liked this hash. It pissed me off to no end and there was ants at the circle. Plus TV and McP laid a trail that circle jerked a couple times. Which reminds me of a time back in the 90s. My friends and I were sitting around with a bag of cookies when someone said ‘Hey, I’ve got an idea.’

Long story short I ended up in my neighbors tree watching the hockey game on a portable TV. At was at this time I thought ‘I really need to rethink taking any kind of drug a friend gives me. Also, I need new friends.’

Hares: Dangle Berry, Cream on My Back, 8″ Crack

I remember one night Madlib was in town promoting absolutely nothing with J Rocc in tow. CREAM, 3 in the Stink  and me were there, trainspotting from the front of the stage. J Rocc played an insane set filled to the tits with J Dilla tracks. Rare and unreleased stuff, the kind of music that makes heads melt, if you’re into that sort of thing. We were. Anyway, long story short Madlib took the stage and was handed an ‘Art teacher’ cigarette from his manager. A couple puffs and it was passed onto J Rocc and then back to the manager. At this point I hear an ear bursting ‘Hey, mother fucker, over here. Give me that shit.’ An elated and extremely perturbed 3 in the Stink was chastising the manager for not passing us the laugh dart. Us, who paid cold hard cash to be at the show. ‘They owe us!’ The manager was eager to please the fans and please he did.

It was a great night. It wasn’t this night but CREAM was there and I love that guy.

The wanker Vote for Pedro has decided to leave. Not only will he be forgotten, but he will not be missed. Have fun paying $20 for NYC hashes. And tell that @$$ I Am Cumstain to bring back the Hash Shit or else!

Did we ever tell you that we hate your f@*king face? Well if we didn’t, we’re telling you now!

(No, but seriously, we will miss you VFP! Come back to visit!)

Vote for Pedro...to get off our island!

As told in the form of several funny (and mostly decent) pictures, we present, the H4 Spring Campout Scrapbook! Thanks to Dickrectionally Challenged for being sober enough to take most of these.

It's not a party without Mud in a wig.

On-on for more…

The H4 Spring Campout will be located in Columbus Texas, approximately halfway between Houston, San Antonio and Austin. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? Yeah, we know. Anywho, the site is an operating Hay ranch, so be aware of that if you have allergies (although in April, I think that the “hay” is mostly still “grass”).

On-on for more…