Houston Hash House Harriers

Euro Triplets Run

6-Mar-11

(3) Hares – Parson’s Nose, Hindlegs & Infested

The hares chose to start the hash on the west side of town for a 3:00 pm hash. Terry Hershey Park is a familiar and friendly location for a “Point A”. The hares promised us good shiggy and great beer at the end of the run. The pack gathered up with civilians milling about, trying to analyze our group. The hares gave chalk talk and announced the identity of the mystery hare as being “Infested”.

The Euro Trash hares for the day were Parson’s Nose (Brit), Hindlegs (Frenchman) and Infested (Scot). Three worldly hares, what could go wrong?

Chalk talk provided the pack with several options. The hares announced a Turkey trail and an Eagle trail. The Turkey trail was said to be friendly enough for the walkers. The eagle trail would provide both a WET and DRY course.  A beer check was also to be offered on the eagle trail. Most marks would be in flour, but toilet paper would be used when needed.

The hares sent the pack off with a smile in their eyes. Trail began down the Terry Hershey trail, but the hounds ran into a back check almost immediately.  Very Clever.  Trail was then found to go through a small subdivision, and then follow a Bayou along the cemetery. Trail seemed to be marked well. We crossed I-10 by going below an overpass. Soon we were at the Addicks Dam Reservoir and climbed that small hill to follow trail. But now we seemed to lose trail.  Where was the Turkey-Eagle split? Most did not find it and ended up doing the Eagle trail.

Once down the hill, we heard a haunting noise that sends a shiver down the back of most hashers.  Gunshots.  With a few comments amongst the pack, we decided that we must be near the shooting range. But we were not comfortable, so we got out of that area as fast as we could!

Trail continued with a nice mixture of terrain. Dirt paths, vines, small shrubbery led us to the most challenging of all, an area of water that we had to cross, ice cold and chest deep.  There was a Dry path around, but was it worth the distance?

After the cold water crossing, we were close to the end.  On-In was at an opening big enough for the hash, but surrounded by trees. This was a perfect ending spot, about one half of a mile north of the start. We could walk back to the start.  The hares provided us a keg of Lonestar, but had a malfunction with the tap. Because of this, we started with cans of beer while waiting on the backup tap to arrive.

The hares paid for their crimes in circle. Of all of the wonderful Eurpoean beers that they could have offered us, they chose Lonestar.  Although most of us love the Lonestar, we thought that our illustrious hares would have had some European beer! The hares thought that this was really funny.

The hares announced the On-on-on to be at Watson’s, an English pub not far from the start.

On-On

Old Faithful

H4 1722 Pisces

Please click on the red magnifying glass on the map for a full screen scrollable view.

Legend:

McP = red

Heartache = black

Dumpster = Purple

Roller = dark blue

Krusty = neon green

Snatch = light pink

CSI = Green

Rancid Ahole = Shit Green

Horsefli = White

PP = Light Blue

Hooter = Orange

Vote For Pedro = Yellow

Catcher = Gray

Vaguerant = Maroon

Infested = Neon Pink

Pisces Run

19-FEBRUARY-2011

5 hares

63 hounds, including 2 virgins

Two kegs of beer! That will bring the hashers out.  The Pisces run was sure to be a success with two kegs of beer and five very distinguished hares.  Many reboots came out to celebrate the birthdays with the hares.

The pack gathered up in a parking lot on the southwest side of town, near Stafford actually. There was plenty of parking and lots of happy hashers, ready for a four mile trail, birthday cake and lots of yummy beer.

Tiny Bubbles gave chalk talk On-on for more…

PooperBowl – 6-FEB-11

Hares: Rain Bitch

Hounds: 99, including 2 new boots

“I am SOOO happy you made it today” were the first words that our hare, Rain Bitch, said to me as I arrived at the hash. I am always happy to see her, but this time she seemed a little over-enthusiastic to see me. I don’t check my yahoo groups often enough, and heard that there was much going around the week prior to the Pooper Bowl as to the intended recipient. Rain was happy to see a lot of hashers there, including Dick the Boy Wonder, Horsefli Drive Bi and Ass Grabber.

Rain Bitch started the hash at a very convenient location in the Heights, at a park not far off of I-45. The parking lot soon filled up with hashers anxious to hash a fine trail and find out who would be the recipient of the celebrated Pooper Bowl this year. Rain Bitch had a glory year On-on for more…

Date: Saturday January 30, 2011
Hares: Powertool
Quote of the Run: “Racists!”

Powertool had a great fun run with a surprise ending at….Allen’s landing! No one saw that coming! It was something, unfortunately, which I missed due to death by marathon. Thank to Powertool for stepping up and helping with everything on this, the most tiring of days.

This Hash Trash was perfectly written by WowMomWow as a thank you for the Marathon Volunteers:

This time around you guys really stepped up to support a 2-day event, and helped in a very challenging year. In trying to recognize all the standouts, I know I will miss someone… but I must give it a try. So in somewhat of a chronological order….

On-on for more…

16-JAN-11 Tender Marathon Hash Hares: Tender Vittles & Crazy Puppy The hare had yet to be seen. Tender Vittles had made many posts on the Yahoo groups site with promises of a 6 mile trail with two kegs of beer at the end. The hare arrived, threw some marks on the ground for new boots, and then took off. McPisser and Horsefli took the confused looking virgins and did a chalk-talk for them. And with the pack giving the hares the standard 10-ish minutes, they were off. Unfortunately no one saw which direction he went after his check, causing us to mill around within eyesight of our cars. At last, the sound of a solved check and the pack moved across the ditch On-on for more…

Hash Trash

Road Kill’s Birthday Run

January 9, 2011

Run #1716

            It was a cold, cloudy day when 60 or so intrepid hashers showed up for Road Kills’ Birthday run.   Road Kill hadn’t laid a live hare trail in a while, so everyone was wondering how it would go.   Would there be dead animals on trail?  Would Road Kill get caught and get de-pantsed?  Would Road Kill puke on trail while trying to outrun the FRBs?  Had WHP left one man to do a two-man job?

            Fearing the worst, Road Kill left to lay trail a little bit earlier that normal, so as to get a good head start.  But his plan didn’t work, because On-on for more…

Hares – Tai Tai Toy, Mud In My Crick, Ramrod
Virgins – 3
Visitors – 2
Total Hashers – 81

Quote of the run: “Heartache did not short cut! He zen-hashed the trail!” –Heartache

Freezing. Of all the runs I can remember, this first Sunday of 2011 was a cold one. Indeed, the hares warned of a chilly ending, but not an @$$ freezer! Tai Tai Toy promised to sacrifice Mud and Ramrod to the hash gods “Shanghai Style” which brought out over 80 people in pure curiosity. They promised a 4-5 mile trail of urban and mixed shiggy and some holy guacamole a la CSI. We began at the Full Moon parking lot, and took a little trip into the Memorial wilderness. Hounds off at 2:30 sharp!

Now, dear hashers, your reverent and endearing On-Sec was running a wide version of the Memorial Loop earlier in the day while training for the Houston Marathon (what a rac*st), and found, what looked to be flour. Let me recount the tale…
On-on for more…

Hangover Hash

01/01/11

Run Number:  1714

Hare:  PP

Number of Hounds:  28

Trail length:  About 5 miles

 PP stepped up at the last minute to hare the New Year’s Day Hangover Hash, and as always, PP laid a great trail on the fly.

 The pack met at 3:00 p.m. off of West Little York just to the East of Highway 290.  PP took off at 3:30 p.m., and the pack barely gave him a 10 minute head On-on for more…

Hares – Grind Slut, Ass Wipe, Charity Fuck
Virgins – 10
Visitors – 5
Total Hashers – 80
Quote of the run: “It’s a Festivus miracle!”

Feats of strength! Airing of grievances! The aluminum pole! Such is the Festivus tradition brought to you yearly (and frequently by Grind Slut). This year, your hares suckered another nubile female virgin into their religious zeal. This was an apparent attempt to deflour Charity Fuck. Last year it was Circle Jerk. My how they move on quick! The hares promised a 4 mile run, the pinning of the heads (who said head?!), and other acrobatic amusement…little did they know…Festivus would take a turn for the long.

The trail began in Memorial Park, as most good things do, with a swoop around the Fruit Loop and into oncoming cyclist traffic. We passed near the ending of last year’s Festivus run, shed a tear for when we tied I Am Cumstain to the pole, and moved along, skimming Memorial before touching along Hooter Bill’s favorite shiggy. You know the one patch of shiggy by Arnot? The one so frequently used, we stopped leaving money for it on the dresser? The patch of shiggy who is so battered, we keep telling her we don’t mean it and that we just get so angry sometimes?  That one. Needless to say, the shiggy forgave us once more and we trailed along the road instead until heading towards the highway. A breeze washed over us on Washington, and the faint smell of Sunday afternoon douchebags wafted on the air. It smelled faintly of old pickles and Axe body spray. Good times.
On-on for more…

Date: Saturday December 19, 2010
Hares: Il Castrato, Horny Hussy, Sex Toy, Buttery Nipples
Quote of the Run: “Where are all the toys? I was told there would be toys.”

Porter! Lone Star! Odd shaped gourds on trail! Just another fun run brought to you by the zany Il Castrato and his co-hares. We met at the Park and Ride on the East Side, near a vaguely familiar stretch of the never-ending Maxey Road. In fact, Il Castrato, myself, and Krusty Kreme laid a pretty ballin’ Full Moon in the area, not to mention 2008’s Bataan Death March. Everyone expected the trail to swerve West into the park on the first go! Where else could the trail lead but to the park? When the pack was off, we veered North before hitting Maxey Road, confusing and disturbing the hounds. After a gentle jog down Maxey, we finally dove into Herman Brown park and the potential for all sorts of disaster! The shiggy was thick yet runnable and your faithful On-Sec thanks the hares. It was the first time my sweet Remy got to experience the green East of I-10 (because let’s face it, after that point you’re pretty much f@$ked).

On-on for more…