Category Archives: Maps

GPS maps of our runs and more

Hash #1774 – I F*cked Your Frech Dad’s Drippy Tool(box) Hash

Hares: I F*cked Your Dad, French Drip, Toolbox

(Thanks for writing the hash trash Brrrrrrggghhh)

GREAT being back to the Houston hash! As McP mentioned, we did get stopped by a warden who mentioned it’s a Class B Misdemeanor for our trespassing. Thankfully, and according to McP, she gave him only a warning after he showed his peter to her. She stood stunned and speechless.

Two kegs….we think they were full kegs…simply vanished just before accusations. Nonetheless, thanks to Second Hand Job for handling the beer wagon.

IFYD, French Drip and Tool Box laid a most fun shiggy trail! 5 miles in length. Two virgins. And many reboots. Here is my quick recap:

1) The walkers were out on trail for a solid THREE hours. Lost, like the crew from Gilligans Island. Hooter, in a most adamant and concerned tone, stated that someone needed to look for the walkers. Il Castrato and I laughed at Hooter’s concern as Il C. stated, “Hooter — the walkers’ rights activist.”
2) Someone set up a hanging shower in the woods. All hasher dogs joined in howling unison as they extolled Closet Freak in her pure and nekkid beauty.
3) Refer to Point #2 – Closet Freak in the nude. Pimp Dawg was called into the circle for cleansing in the above said shower and expecting that Closet F. was next to him. He saw a nude back and longer, curly hair. Imagine his surprise when his shower partner turned to face him and it was Tree Hugger!! (Insert “Sodomy” song here).
4) Butt Pirate sported his new ironman tatoo on his right calf. Quite unique. He is scheduled to do IM Texas again!
5) I congratulated Dangleberry on his marathon debut! 2:58:01. Outstanding! !!!
6) The game warden imposed her authority of our trespassing by stopping the 2nd hasher, Tender Vittles. At this point, Saran is well ahead and speeding down the embankment. Tender then yells, “Saran!! Saran!! Come back!!” Game warden says, “What’s he doing down there? He could get hurt!!!”.
7) Saran called out Just John for coming up short of tip money at the Yardhouse bar a week or so ago. Saran gave Just John the money he lacked/needed. Saran proposed the naming, “Short Tip”. Great idea! However, “Tipper Whore” was claimed as his hash name. (Which BTW, he despises…) .
8) At the On On On, I’m waiting for a beer at the bar while Parson’s Nose is making new friends within a few feet. One of the regulars asked me (pointing to PN), “Is he your husband?” I laughed heartily and asked PN for his answer. He replied, “Not tonight”.
9) An official paddle was given to various hashers to spank the girl whose bday is tomorrow. Closet Freak gave a whopping blow to IFYD that I think sent her to the heavens. It was harsh.
10) Many of you missed this, but about 5 hashers were pushing French D.’s vehicle from the front as it was sorta stuck in the mud. All who were pushing gave a heave-ho. One who gave an honest and all-out effort was Urban Cocksucker. He pushed and fell face forward in the mud! Everyone else kept their balance, except him. It was a complete riot to see.

Trail was great, circle was fun and there are many more stories to share….but this harriette has to hit the hay!!

On-on to more hashing and Pooperbowl next week!!!

Brrrrrggggggggggghh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhh

(Verified Official Hash Trash by Dick Assley, 1/30/12)

H4 #1774

Heartache = Yellow

Krusty Kreme = White

Rancid Asshole = Red

Blow Hole = Purple

Pull the Plug = Green



CLICK THIS LINK to open in google Maps, with legend.

H4 Run #1752 — McP + Tender Vittles

H4 1752 9.04 McP & TV Reservoir

Hares: McPisser and Tender Vittles

I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Colonel Walter E. Kurtz’s memory any more than being back in Saigon was an accident. There is no way to tell his story without telling my own. And if his story really is a confession, then so is mine.


Ok, so Vietnam is worlds from George Bush park but that didn’t stop our hares from treating us like Marines that day.

Hash #1744 – Say Car Ramrod (or Get Your Window Rammed with a Rod Hash)

H4 1744 7.10 Say Car Ramrod


Hares:  Ramrod and Tender Vittles (again)

Let’s go back a couple of days.  July 10, discount 2011.  4 pm.  Townwood Park.  Everything seems normal.  Hash cash is paid, hashers are stretching, drinking, voting and talking.  The pack is milling about waiting for the hares, Tender Vittles and Ramrod, to announce chalk talk.   Little did they know, there is someone else.  Someone else is waiting for the hounds to take off.  Someone else is hanging around….


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H4 1739 HorseCycle MAP

H4 1739 HorseCycle

Please click on the red magnifying glass on the map for a full screen scrollable view.




McP = red

Heartache = black

Dumpster = Purple

Roller = dark blue

Krusty = neon green

Snatch = light pink

CSI = Green

Rancid Ahole = Shit Green

Horsefli = White

PP = Light Blue

Hooter = Orange

Vote For Pedro = Yellow

Catcher = Gray

Vaguerant = Maroon

Infested = Neon Pink