for y'all wankers who did not come out yesterday to the "Half Moaning,
Mighty Small TyrantMouse turns down a blow job from Horny Dog" run, ya
missed a good one!

The hash gods cleared out the weather just in time for the off, from the
Farmers Coop/sleezy new Ice house on the corner of Clay and Beltway. A
slight delay, typical of the SCH3, as Horny Dog, Sag wagon extraordinaire,
had locked her truck with the keys in the ignition. Puppy Prick offered his
wheels as an alternate and HD was left to solve her problem, in best hash
fashion......

We futzed our way through a bunch of industrial buildings and futile checks
in a general South-East direction until we made our way, well spread out,
up a small drainage ditch to a check the bayou running parallel to the
reservoir dike.

Your scribe, Heartache, obvious full of performance-enhancing drugs,
arrived first and chose to check south. The pack, arriving later, smelled a
Geeky error and went North, found trail which quickly crossed the bayou and
headed for the dike.
H'ache, pig headed, observed a small bridge a half mile south and chose to
preserve his feet dry (and hoped the pack would make a 5 mile loop through
the reservoir and come out at the bridge) kept going...... and found
nothing......
As the pack was well gone, nothing for it but to stick to his instincts and
headed over the bridge, up to the dike and straight into the reservoir
area. Vague memories of a little lake way in there spurred me on, not
knowing what was going on with the pack, somewhere to the north.........

Arriving at the lake, faint cries were heard directly North. Not wishing to
follow the pack, I proceeded to skirt the lake in a westerly direction and
<<WOW>> fresh flour, which proceeded due west on a neat trail, whose only
problem was that it had been selected by Mighty Mouse...........
........and required that normal hashers double over to avoid the low
undergrowth.........

Faint cries were heard of the the pack still fumbling around, trying to
find flour, so with a quick blast of his whistle, Heartache was off,
doubled over, but in fine fettle..... to a check at a T-junction. straight
on or South?? Try south; after 400 yards, realizing he was in error,
Heartache starts a gentle loop back towards the check and soon heard cries
of check then on-on, confirming the trail had gone straight......
....and ran into the front runners of the (belated) pack: Limp Noodle and
Puppy Prick....., we solved one simple check and were now running North on
a trail which gradually became a gravel path, with lots of strange little
trails on both sides, which seemed to be full of strange markers on the
ground......... What the F*** we wondered aloud, when we burst into a
large open area onto a check and the explanation of the strange stuff: a
gentleman in full Robin Hood outfit, firing arrows at a bunch of targets.....
My co-hounds immediately struck off to the west, while i proceeded to the
North. They called on on, but I reckoned it was too close to be true, so
continued north, once again all alone........ until I came on flour
again, which ran out to a check on Clay road. Gotta be back to the
start........ So proceeded East and saw Half Moan's butt in the distance,
as he laid the in trail......
A quick sprint to a heroic finish: "How the F*** did you get here so
quick?" was the disgruntled cry of Mouse 'n' Moan, the dreaded duo......
....soon followed Limp Noodle and Puppy Prick who, after a quick grapple in
the undergrowth, decided they better get to the end before I spilled the
beans over their running the entire trail holding hands........
And the pack trickled in over the next 20 minutes, changed, chatted and
munched, missing only Hooter Bill........ (who had arrived 10 minutes after
we had left on trail.........
Tired of waiting, we circled up and were in our initial phase when HB was
heard approaching. Limp Noodle quickly cranked up Swing Low, such that we
were just finishing when the Hooter arrived ,grinning, glowing and talking
up a storm........ to be told he was too late for the circle <G>........
we eventually, just to shut him up, reconvened the circle and had a lively
time, with the most notable (true) accusation coming from half Moon on
Mighty Mouse, who had refused a blow job from Horny Dog while laying
trail...... and as HD has not yet arrived, could not defend the accusation.....
....but, just as MM was squirming out all sorts of excuses and claims that
it never happened, here came Horny Dog! Who confirmed that indeed MM had
refused to have anything to do with the suggested blow job, claiming "I
don't like Blow Jobs!"......

..many other interesting happenings, as we hammered the beer supply to
death, and then proceeded to a Blues Bar on Bingle for Burgers and
Bullshit........ where Hooter again arrived long after the rest of the pack
claiming that, in spite of residing in Houston longer than most hashers
have lived, he did not know that Voss turned into Bingle at I-10, so when
he saw the Voss/Bingle exit, he passed Voss, hoping to find Bingle a bit
further down the freeway.............. definate proof that Hooter is
losing it......

A good time was had by all. Congrats to the hares for laying an excellent
trail, which (for once) proved that the hash instinct of an old dog
sometimes works out........
;~)
On On (and PS to Half Moan: you owe me, buster!)
Heartache
"Je Hash, donc je suis" or, if you prefer: "Hasho, ergo sum"
Warning: consumption of Stout may cause extreme personality disorders......