Legend:
Heartache (Hare) = Blue, true except long check in Fonde Park
Dumpster Digger = neon green
McPisser = red
Pussy Checker = yellow
Rancid A = purple
Brian = orange

Also, just for fun, Mcpisser’s last full moon (May) is in black and the actual May trail is in white.  Waaaaay off trail last month.  On trail but backwards this month.

Namings
Amongst several other attempts, we did manage to squeeze in two awesome namings:

Flabimbo: for the hot one-legged chick. Combination of flamingo and bimbo, in case you didn’t already figure that out on your own.

Cowasucky: for Megan the virgin hare, because she rides a harley, hates rice burners (but is rumored to have formerly ridden one), and told McPisser that she used to look like a heifer.

Congratulations to you both!
GS

Thanks for a great time last night. You get my vote for most retarded trail of the year! That keg of Blue Moon was awesome and the way our French friend took control of McPissers beer jug full of oranges added a nice touch to the beer service. I’ve never felt that classy. Congrats to Ali for FINALLY getting her name! I think we have tabled more names for her than anyone else in the hash. One suggestion was actually “Table Her”, but after her attempt to cut the circle short we decided that she was being a jerk and she shall henceforth be known as “Circle Jerk”. Just make sure you are never DFL or else you’ll have to eat the cracker. Also, congrats to Dr. Strange-Rub for being defloured with TWO full bags of flour last night.

After the circle was over, I was gifted the last 1/6th of beer that was in the keg, which ended up at Avant Garden with me for a friends birthday. We ended up spending more time in the parking lot with the keg than in the bar. Why pay for more beer when I just paid 5 bucks for a keg? I’ve never felt so awesomely shady in my life. But now I’m rambling so I’ll call it quits. Thanks again to the hares for the great hash, a perfect way to end the year.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year! Be safe tonight.

On-on ya’ll,
Richard Assley, but you can call me Dick.

We did some bowling for tvs (which would be odd, that being a Valhalla, not a Hash, New Year’s Eve tradition), or did we? I recall going to the Valhalla party afterward, and not much else. Yup, one of those times to remember, such a good time, in fact, that parts of it go unremembered.

Nostalgically,
MP

Brrrrgggghhhhh’s account:

Last night’s FM had a great showing! At the circle, Grind’s count of 30 hounds grew to 40 in a matter of seconds. Snatch challenged his counting abilities. The hares?were still given grief for not supplying enough beer.

Sparse flour at many points left the pack searching for minutes upon minutes. Gaslyte and Out of Tuna found their way to the end about 50 minutes before the main pack came in. Others went back to the cars. Main pack came in at about 9PM. Snatch went looking for stragglers and came back with a few. H’ache made an appearance; he shared of recent camping experiences while in Leadville. Tai Tai never made it to the end; he had run Rice and jumped in w the FRBs at the Valhalla beer check.

Monica Spew proudly wore his flour (his 1st time haring). I believe he went to the On-On-On with flour still caked on his face! Gaslyte offered a towel as he jumped behind his steering wheel. He declined. She replied, “Freak.” Monica is simply trying “to bring sexy back” (as he shared with me during the circle).

My opinion: a tricky trail bc of sparse flour yet a?REALLY FUN time nonetheless!!! Thanks to the hares for their trail!

Hooter’s Account:

And it was gratifying for Hooter for a change, to come in with the main pack (about 9 pm), after catching up with the pack by Miller Theatre in Hermann Park. The pack had been checking so long at Miller Theatre that some usual
FRBs (McP, Tai Tai Toy, PP?, Estrus?)had already given up and run back to the start. End was at the familiar pavillion on Almeda Road. Estrus and PP and Tai Tai Toy never got to the end (PP may have got there earlier and
left???). Anal 101 & Gaslight had caught the Hares near the zoo and lakes, but they did a catch and release so hares could finish the trail. Buy Your Own Beer Check was at Valhalla on Rice Univ campus. Start was at Chelsea
Street & Montrose Blvd near bridge over Hwy 59.

Here’s Hooter’s list of all in sequence going left around the circle led by Grind Slut: Hooter Bill, Roll Model, Parsons Nose, NARC, Out of Tuna, Anal 101, Will He Peter, Hindlegs, Just Michael, Road Kill, Just Ashley, Gaslight, Heartache (auto hashing in white longsleeve shirt & seer sucker long pants & socks and loafers!), Just David, McPisser, Pull The Plug, Krust Kreme, Where’s Your Seester, Just Jack, Pussy Checker, Brrrgghh, The Pits, Just Tiffany, Just Shannon, Power Tool. Also mostly in the circle all the time were Hare Spewinski (maybe renamed Monica Spew??) & Hare Snatchatarius & RA Grind Slut. Hooter’s count was 28 at the end.

Pull the Plug has posted his pics from this month’s Full Moon here.

Start of FM H3 on 7/7 at 7 was the Full Moon Parking Lot in Memorial Park. About 40 people, a big turnout. Here is Hooter Bill’s trace of the trail a day later.

Here is Rain Bitch’s: Hares Dr Cootchie and Grind Slut, Shagwagon Rain Bitch, Parson’s Nose, Rancid Asshole, Roll Model, Pull the Plug, 8″ Crack, Estrus, Tiffany, NARC, Pussy Checker, Great Balls of Fire, McPisser, Dumpster Digger, Misty, Ass Wipe, Road Kill, Caroline Burke, Robin, My Brother Made Me Eat It, Nathan, Horsefli Drivebi, Bleeder, John, ID10T, Roller Balls, Ben, Michael, Hooter Bill, Gaslyte, PP, Jenna, Saran Crap, Heartache, Saturday Night Beaver, Krusty Kreme, Snatchatarius, Ass Grabber, Randy. Muscle Phartt made cameo appearance at end.

End was in patch of woods by train track and Old Katy Road. Rain Bitch found old tv in woods for table for McP’s portable grill. Rain Bitch went out for a beer run, and cold beer flowed. Hares picked for next month were Snatachatarius, Jenna, and Ben.

On On On was at Christian’s (is it Totem or Tailgate?), and Jenna (Glitterati?) and others showed their stuff in the Karaoke.

Hooter Bill

Roughly 28 hashers showed up for the Full Moon run last night. I’m sure that the fact that the weather conditions were perfect and the hares had promised a reasonable length trail, improved the turnout. Roller Balls and Hooter Bill laid the live trail, while Pimp Doggie Dog and Cumoniwannalaya performed shag duties. Most of the runners finished the 4.36 mile trail in an hour or less, although Heartache and Roadkill came in a little later. Heartache said his GPS showed about 8 miles. Only 2 hashers failed to make it to the end.

The hares used colored flour to try to distinguish their trail from Sunday’s trail. There were a few locations where the hares had converted old checks into arrows so as not to confuse the two trails. But if you ever got off trail, you might get really confused by the two sets of marks.
There was a beer check at The Usual bar about halfway through the run. The regulars there thought we were marathoners, so they gave us a lot of adoring praise. No one had the heart to tell them who we really were.

Later, Pull the Plug, Juices Flowing, and Ass Grabber were running together when they heard, what they thought were gun shots, which caused them to pick up the pace. Carpet Burns lived up to her name by tripping on trail and getting sidewalk burns on her elbow.

Krusty Kreme did a nice job as RA. He seemed right at home in the circle. I have to think that he would be a good candidate for future RA. And hash erections are only a few months away! The hares provided Pabst Blue Ribbon and Lonestar beer for down-downs except, of course, for Hooter who was drinking Keystone Light.

I really liked the ending location next to the railroad tracks that crossed the Old Hempstead Hwy north of Interstate 10. The location was secluded and quite, except for the noise of the trains. The full moon kept playing peek-a-boo through the clouds which gave the location a sort of surreal feeling.

Full Moon Hares picked for April will be Dumpter Digger, Juices Flowing, and Carpet Burns.

The On-on-on was at The Usual bar across the street from the starting location. Lonestar cans were only $1.00, so you good go all out and buy your friends a beer.

On-on
Pull the Plug

Pull the Plug’s version:

Thanks to hares Estrus, Bleeder, and Bob for a great Full Moon trail last night.

It was a perfect night for a Full Moon Run. The air was cold, the moon was exceptionally bright, and the 55-degree water in the pool at the ending was refreshing. Before the run began, Cummi Bear alienated himself from a bunch of women who turned out be members of the Houston Striders. Thinking they were hashers he introduced himself as “Cummi Bear”, to which they were appalled and they quickly retreated from his presence.

The trail was approximately 5 miles long and led us through Terry Hershey park and the surrounding neighborhoods. The run ended at the poolside patio at Estrus’ house. Old Faithful and 8″ Crack were happy to be the only females at the run. They commented that it was almost like being at a PC run since the participants were mostly men.

The hounds complained loudly about the Bud Light and Coors Light beer provided by the hares, so Estrus broke out his private stash of Shiner Bock and all was forgiven. McPisser lead the circle around a propane heater where accusations ran from funny to lame to ridiculously lame. But since there was beer left the circle continued until Estrus invited us inside his house for warmer surroundings and a lecture on the virtues of HDTV.

As best as I can remember, the participants were:
Baby Huey
8″ Crack
Heartache
Hind Legs
Cummi Bear
Old Faithful
McPisser
Pull the Plug
Saran Crap
El Castrado

If I remember right, the hares for next month are:
Cummi Bear
Old Faithful
Saran Crap

Heartache’s version:

What’s wrong, Hashers? did a little cold snap kill your hashing spirit?

A miserable turn-out for an excellent run in perfect running weather from Estrus, Bob (with a putrid box) and Bleeder (do y’all see a connection between these three names???).

When I arrived at 6.45, it looked like me and Cummi Bear were the pack! And the hares were about to take off! I persuaded them to hang about for a bit to see if a few more hashers would turn up and eventually in drifted Hind Legs, Baby Huey on his “Not Christmas” visit, Pull the Plug and 8″ Crack.

And a large group of new boots, with a large female percentage, just down the parking lot.

So Cummi Bear went over and introduced himself: “Hi, I’m Cummi Bear”…
“Don’t you mean Gummi Bear?”
“No, Cummi Bear”, he replied. “Nice to see some new faces at the hash”
“Huh? We are the Houston Striders, here for our weekly 10 mile tempo run……”

Sorry, Cummi, all those cute female runners did not want to join us!

Anyway, the mini-pack took off, with word that we might be joined by Saran Crap on his mountain bike (“I’m training for an adventure race” was his excuse). We crossed Memorial, through the park to I-10, underneath at the bayou and then along the frontage road, going East.

Simple checks did not do much to slow, or split the pack until we got to just before the Omni Hotel, where Heartache ran ahead on the feeder to the corner of Eldridge, while the pack found trail North. H’ache cut through the foyer of the hotel and rejoined the pack in the parking lot behind, where we checked, with again H’ache going the wrong way, north towards the Reservoir, while the pack ran east along the North section of Dairy Ashford, parallel to the feeder.

H’ache (knowing Estrus’ style) decided to check out the damn Dam and ran up to the trail skirting it, while the pack proceeded east. H’ache proceeded his lonely run along the dam, going east, paralleling the pack, who could not be heard…..

A beautiful solitary night, but with confidence that Estrus would lead Bob up to the dam at some point….. Wrong! Reaching the drainage ditch half way between Eldridge and Dairy Ashford, where our kind Mayor put a nice new bike track. Still no trail, so time to regroup! Running down the ditch to Dairy Ashford and met up with a solitary Saran Crap, on his bike.

The pack were thataway he said, pointing back west. So obviously, only one way to go: south along the ditch to the Feeder and a check on the bridge over the ditch. We continued East to Dairy Ashford, with Saran Crap leading the way. Not finding trail, we surmised that the pack had gone under I-10 by the tunnel and we proceeded under I-10 by Dairy Ashford.

Saran Crap blasted off, with mechanical assistance, along the feeder road, back to the tunnel, leaving H’ache to fend for himself. So H’ache headed at an angle, SW, into the neighborhood, expecting to cut off the pack, and ended up on a dead-end street (aptly named Threadneedle Street), surrounded by apartments and BIG fences.

About to give up and run all the way back to the feeder when a kindly native popped up and asked if I was looking for the idiots running through the cemetery. Yes, how can I get there without running all the way back? Well sir, just go along this path, behind my building and there is a gate!

Ha, back on track! But on the wrong side of the ditch. No worries, just run to Memorial on the side of the ditch. Which was a success, as one solitary whistle in the distance informed of the pack’s route. An arrow was found at the corner of Eldridge and Memorial and trail was rejoined, never to be left again!

The pack was reunited on the banks of Buffalo Bayou, where we did a convoluted do-loopy multiple death crossing of the bayou and Eldridge (yes, at the exact point where hare Estrus laid trail and Anal 101′s dog got the chop from a car) and into the park on the south side of the Bayou. From then on it was a speed blast to the bridge, crossing it and heading north towards the start, only to veer off to the west on the trail through the woods, behind the office buildings and proceeded west on Memorial, then north through the subdivision to Estrus’s house.

Where we gathered on his gazebo, heated by the smallest propane heater we had ever seen. To be later joined by McPisser, who lead the circle, late runner Il Castrato and autowanker Old Faithful. We drank piss beer, made sundry accusations, attempted, but failed to name Bob, commented on the quality of Houston Hashers, who cannot handle cold weather, and elected hares for next month: Saran Crap, Cummi Bear and Old Faithful.