That ’70s Christmas Party

That’s right. The Houston Hash had so much fun last year that Mismanagement has decided to do it again: this year’s holiday party will take place Dec. 8 at Super Happy Fun Land with the Allen Oldies Band again.

Register online now for just $35. (Note: Ticket pricing will increase to $40 Monday, December 3rd and will be $45 at the door.)

Join us for the 2012 Fall Campout

pills on Flickr”>jumpers2

The annual H4 Faaaaaaaaaalllllll Campout will be held at Skydive Spaceland on November 2, 3, and 4, 2012. The campgrounds are right on the Skydive Spaceland property, just a few hundred yards from the landing zone.

This is a BYOE campout, meaning ‘bring your own everything’. Mismanagement will provide some basic snacks, bathrooms, shenanigans, and enough drinks for flippy cup. What to know more? Click here!

A bridge too far or Ram a Horse with a Tender Rod Hash

Hares:  Tender Vittles, Horsefli Drivebi, Ramrob

So there we were in e-mails up to here, with the hares promising the most shiggy of trails, with lengths of epic proportions and terrain so ruff, not even the dogs could attend…

Now, with most hares, all of the smoke and sunshine being blow up our asses on the email is just that, smoke and sunshine.  This time it was different.  This time, it was the truth.  Continue reading

Hash #1801 – Too Hot to Run Hash

Hares:  Whale’s Vagina, Meatbox, Weapons of Mass-Turbation

Well, it was a hot and steamy day and the hares decided to lay a trail.  Our thoughtful hares thought that having the trail on the hottest day of the summer (so far) in order to please the hounds.  They also decided to have the start location in the hottest parking lot of Houston.  As the pack gathered, you could see the sweat pools starting to grow around the feet and tires in the parking lot.  The hares promised “shaded urban-shiggy” and the pack got to learn, once again, that hares lie.  Continue reading

#1800 – Fiestavus 5!

Hares:  Pussy Checker, Master Chucker, Menage Myself, Snatchatarrius, Smooth Stroker, Nibble My Tits

At the request of the H4 grammar Nazis, this entire trash has been written in Comic Sans. According to Amnesty International, this is a low grade form of deliberate ocular agony and typographical terrorism. What did you expect, they’re NAZIS!

Yea, after weeks of listserv haranguing and facebook invite management, Fiestavus 5 was finally upon us. A stormy morning gave way to a classically hot and humid afternoon, in the storied wilds of Spring, Texas. A large pack, including nearly two dozen virgins, and a lovely ASSortment of roller derby girls convened in the parking lot of Club Tranz (Open all nite! VIP entrance! Wanna buy some meth?) next to Cypress Creek. At last the hares arrived, arrayed in cartoonishly Mexican raiments, promising a shiggified, shaded, muddy, sexy, profitable, air-conditioned trail. Keep in mind that the hares are known to lie. Chalk talk was held after the arrival of SPF 50 and duly elected Religious Advisor Ramrod, who were seen pushing their truck over a bridge and into a nearby alley. Evidently it gave up the ghost, by the will of a most benevolent G, only a quarter of a mile from the start. Although the exact mechanical malfunction could not be readily determined, it has been speculated that a daring and dangerous attempt at road head lead to a blown gasket. And with that, the pack was off. Continue reading

H4 #1794 – Curse of the Tender Asshole

Hares: Newly erected Joint Masters Rancid Asshole & Tender Vittles

As no hounds had bravely stepped forward to hare a simple trail, viagra sale it was up to the new joint
masters to provide shiggy, bronchi sweat, prostate and a keg this week. They intended to punish the pack for
their reticence. Half minds, virgins, and associated ne’er do wells convened at the Star
Furniture on the south, south, southwest side of town. Wary for the hounds’ security on trail,
the hares advised bringing bug spray, gator repellent, and condoms. You never know who
you’ll meet on trail. Strangely, they did not find it fit to advise wearing shiggy socks, which
would have saved many a hound and harriette from cursing the hares on trail whilst wading
through waist-high hedgerows of PI.

Continue reading

H4 #1793 — Unlaiden Swallow’s Birthday Hash

Hares: Unlaiden Swallows, Snatch Trick & Flatline

Our crafty harrierettes gave the vague start description as Stude park. Two different camps of hashers parked in different lots waiting for the other to arrive. After realizing this Camp Boy Parts merged with Camp Lady Parts and the hash was ready to begin. This wasn’t the only bit of trickery connived by these lovely ladies. Last week’s trail was laid in the same area and since we’ve had zero rain this week that flour was still able to steal hashers and lead them to their deaths. Or maybe not. Our hares did put specs of orange in their flour so thank you science.

Continue reading