Hares: Hooter Bill and Master Chugger
One of the largest packs to date gathered to celebrate Hooter Bill’s 70th Birthday Run. On a “flaming hot” Sunday afternoon, 82 hounds met at the Lowe’s off of Ella and 610 just inside the loop. Our hares, Hooter Bill and Master Chugger, had promised a moderate length trail with a perfect shady ending.
After a very brief chalk talk by Hooter Bill, the hounds were off in the direction of Ella within the loop. We quickly crossed Ella to run in between some office buildings, where Ass Grabber was seen already resting on a bench, and then into Little Thicket Park where there was moderately challenging shiggy (say that 3 times). There was no warning of poison ivy on trail, but there were many groans when it was encountered inside the shiggy!
After coming out of the park, we headed out to the 610 feeder, passing the Boy Scouts of America, then crossed under 610 on TC Jester into another office building complex that offered a very welcoming amount of shade. Back into some shiggy we went and out into a neighborhood we came where those of us in the back ran into Grind Slut, who was kind enough to admit they just ran a big circle and to follow the direction he was headed…Thanks Grind!! What a kind hound! Your secret is safe with me…
Anyway, along the shaded streets we went till we crossed back over Ella (is there a pattern here?) and into a field, coming out yet again onto some streets that led back to the 610 feeder outside the loop. We saw the much-anticipated BN with an arrow leading back under 610 on Ella and found the pack assembled in a very nice shaded area by the Harris County Democratic Party Office (sorry WHP!)
Once the pack was in, or we thought anyway, everyone quickly washed off the PI thanks to the water hose provided by the Democrats (the only thing they are good for….there ya go WHP). Mamma’s Boy entered the circle, without his cheat sheet this time, and began by abusing our Hares Hooter Bill and Master Chugger.
Next we welcomed our new boots Jennifer and Jason (I think), then roughly half of the circle entered as re-boots were called on for being MIA. There were numerous birthday’s this month, too many to remember other than Hooter, being this was his day! Master Chugger brought out his “special” cake, in the shape of a penis, and lovingly CUT into it for the group to snack upon!
Transfers were introduced, which Deep Black Hole from Boston considers herself a new transfer EVERY week….she really just wants the attention and needs to do a down down beer! I guess she thinks no one will accuse her of anything! Your time is coming sister!!
Anywho, accusations began with McPisser calling out our new JM’s, Pipes and Ménage Myself, for being over achievers by purchasing a new Uber Tap for the Hash that is pretty much indestructible. And I might add very powerful!!
Grind Slut came into the circle next with cake in hand and a black garbage bag concealing a secret and calling on Hooter Bill. As Hooter entered the circle, Grind pulled out “The Hooter Bill Award”! Yes one and all, it has been found by Grind Slut….then BROKEN by Gind Slut! What?? Why would Grind do such a thing?? Without any warning, Grind just beat on poor Hooter and broke his head off his little legs. The circle couldn’t believe what they had just witnessed. So shocked was Will He Peter, current owner of the Hashshit, he came out and immediately handed it over to Grind Slut!
After everyone had calmed down from the abuse of the “Hooter Bill Award”, Grind Slut explained Hooter Bill’s obsession with smashing a cake on his birthday. Hooter proceeded to get down on his knees and smash that cake to smithereens!! Looking rather like a mad man I might add!
After enjoying several accusations and assuming that everyone was in, Butt Pirate shows up and was immediately harassed by the group. First of all, he was wearing a “race” shirt (so was I, but I always manage to get away with that!). Secondly, NARC accuses BP of calling him while on trail to find the ending because he was so miserable. However, BP had his counter accusation ready and accused NARC of obviously answering his cell phone during circle. Down Down’s for both!!
After a few more lame accusations, draining a keg and several cases of Lone Star (thanks to Tonka for the beer run), the pack headed to Marty’s Bar for a birthday celebration that only Hooter can provide! The group was treated to a great Zydeco band and an all you can eat crawfish boil on the patio of Marty’s.
Those unable to attend the run showed up for the party at Marty’s. Several new faces to your scribe appeared and I tried to make it around to meet everyone. However, as I’m sure Pussy Checker and Smooth Stroker will attest since they watched me trip over my own two feet (and one of those parking thingies), I was a little tipsy and can’t really remember their names! Such is life!
Thanks to Hooter Bill and Master Chugger for a great hash! And may you have many more great runs Hooter Bill!!