Hare: Rain Bitch

The day was perfect. Perfect blue cloudless sky, perfect location to begin a fun shiggy trail, perfect hashers to have fun with…wait a minute, not so perfect heat!

Rain Bitch had a wonderful shiggy trail promised for us on her 50th Birthday Run, and she did disappoint! Trail began at Grant Rd. and Lakewood Forest Dr. on the northwest side of Houston.

As 4:30 came around, we were still without our hare! Ends up, she was stuck in traffic and Will He Peter and others took over to find the first mark and do chalk talk to get the run going and the pack to the end so we could have maximum fun!

Trail started with a BIG BANG! The pack headed out of the strip center and across Grant Rd. where the first mark was found. Off towards the bayou we headed to immediately find a check. Hounds went in every direction looking, and it was false trail after false trail that was found! Finally, the pack headed back across the street and found true trail along the bayou.

The trail wound in and out of the woods and kept going under Grant Rd. Mom, Geek, Ménage Myself, and I came to a check about the same time. We could hear the FRBs in front of us so we headed the direction of the whistles only to find a false trail. MM basically said to hell with the false and blew right through it. Mom, Geek and I all followed and thankfully it was a shortcut that paid off! We had caught up with Snatcha and Gus who had passed us about 5 minutes earlier.

ON ON we went through the woods and came under the bridge to the water check. Trail continued straight under the bridge and down a well-worn path.

Geek, Mom, and I eventually lost trail. Geek decided to venture on, but Mom and I felt it was best to head back to the last mark. On our way back, we run into Snatcha who also realized we had lost trail and went back with us. Finally we ran into Fire Tunnel and Hooter Bill. Hooter and found an arrow leading to a water crossing. Down the hill we went and crossed with little incident. Then Laa-Laa, one of our visitors, comes along behind us and says the arrow is pointing in another direction and sees a check on the other side. So he yells at those of us over on “whore” island to come back across!

Fire Tunnel slowly gets back into the water and realizes how deep it is where she was trying to cross. When I try to go back to where I originally crossed, I noticed a recently deceased snake right behind me and screamed! Oh, and froze on the spot! So Fire Tunnel, my new hero, comes back to where I was standing and helps me into the water. Laa-Laa also comes out to meet the both of us and helps us all up the extremely slippery and muddy hillside! Once we all make it up the hill, it was just a short jaunt to the end and blowing through a false trail, we see the pack waiting on us at the end!

The circle….ooohhh the circle! Where should one begin with the fun that was had by all in the circle?! Oh…I know, how about Fire Tunnel and her two bottles of Jagermeister and a bottle of Hypnotic! Those bottles made it around the circle more times than I care to remember!

As we welcomed our numerous visitors and new boots, they soon learned just how insane we really can be on a day with a FANTASTIC circle! Yes Momma’s Boy, I know we were loud and obnoxious, but seriously, that was just a flat out FREAKING awesome circle!< At one point, Ralph, a new boot was brought into the circle by Stuck on the Bone. She explained to the circle that she had asked Ralph if he was having a good time in the circle. As my drunken ass remembers, his response went something like "my wife and I are having so much fun I think I might make it in her back door tonight!" Now, what made it so funny for me was that Bleeder was standing next to me with this look of utter bewilderment on his face. He looked at me and said "I don't get it, why wouldn't he be able to go into the back door of his house with his wife?" I had to explain the concept of "back door" to him, which was absolutely priceless when he figured it out! There were many excellent accusations, all of which I can't remember now because I was so drunk that day due to numerous shots! I remember lots of good singing thanks to our current RA, past RA's, and numerous visitors that added to the fun! Of course, we can't forget the real reason we were all there to begin with….it was Rain Bitch's 50th Birthday celebration. Now there was a woman who was having some serious fun! Once the keg had been emptied and all the serious hard liquor had been drunk, our hare informed us that we would be headed to Woody's for the ON ON ON! Off we went for what ended up being a VERY enjoyable evening! Once at Woody's, everyone got a beer in hand and more cameras came out and pictures taken than I have ever seen before! Heartache and Snatcha were walking around with bottles of most excellent Chimay pouring it into anyone's glass they saw empty. At one point, Snatcha rigged numerous straws together to make one seriously LONG straw so she could sip from other peeps drinks. Such a mooch! Anyway, one could go on and on and on about all the fun things that occurred that night. And for those of us there, we will have the memories till at least next week when the next great hash and ON ON ON occur. For you wankers not there, you'll just have to take our word that you missed a most excellent trail, circle, and ON ON ON! 'Til next week!