Hares: Pull the Plug and 8″ Crack

8″ Crack and Pull the Plug hosted a shiggy run to celebrate Crack’s birthday. The pack met at a Target on the south side of the beltway. Mama’s Boy showed up with a six pack of Old Chubb beer, which looked more like motor oil but went down smooth for 8% alcohol content. The pack gathered for chalk talk and the hares directed us across the street and toward a soccer field.

After running around the field for a while, pack wandered through the adjacent neighborhood. I made the mistake of following Estrus, hopefully for the first and last time. We ended up across the beltway near the flea market. It was there that we saw Heartache running about aimlessly through the woods. We heard a call and crossed back to find marks and a beer near sign. Indeed it was, the hares had a cooler full of beer, Miller High Life, I believe it was. Platterpus helped out 8″ Crack and were distributing the delightful beverages near the rotting carcASS of a horse. ID10T pulled back on a piece of the leather reigns to reveal a hollow skull.

From the beer check, the pack entered into a thicket of woods and so the shiggy commenced. Pack fought branches that appeared to have been broken by some extraterrestrial craft as it came in for a crash landing. Needless to say the brush posed a little deterrent for the pack. When the trail winded around, it finally came to a lake which belonged to Dick The Boy Wonder.

The ending featured coolers of Kona, St. Arnolds, Sierra Nevada, and a case of Lone Star for down downs. Since it was a little nippy, Dick erected a massive pile of wood that appeared to be remainders of a fence knocked down by Ike.

In the background Ass Grabber was grilling away. He had made about a dozen whole chickens with beer shoved up their asses (true Ass Grabber style) and sausage on the side. Circle commenced and I Am Cumstain was given a gardening hoe since he has no real ho. Violations led to lame violations.

After circle, hashers indulged in the tasty food and beer. After the beer was gone, Dick brought out his own personal keg and it too was consumed. Just Lisa gave us a show on the pole erected in the backyard. As the crowd dwindled down, one could only hope that 8″ Crack’s birthday came more often.

On On (retardidly late),
I Am Cumstain
Guest Scribe