Hares: Tap Dat Ass and Chicken Pot Guy

After having missed the last time our visiting hare was in town, I ended up in bed sick as a dog and not able to make the run. This time, a much healthier 8″ Crack was able to make today’s run hared by Tap Dat Ass and visiting hare Chicken Pot Guy from New Orleans, or is it Virginia, or soon to be DC?? Considering CPG hared my first ever hash in New Orleans for the Red Dress Run almost 2 years ago, I was looking forward to today’s run! The start was at Old Spanish Trail and Cullen for a live hared trail at 3pm.

As I pulled into the starting location a little early, I see Sinbad and a few visitors talking. As I sit in the car for a few minutes getting some items in my bag, more visitors and new faces quickly showed up. We all got acquainted and chatted till our hares arrived. Finally, after a what seemed like a long wait, our hares started with chalk talk to educate our visitors, new boots (and himself) of the Houston Hash trail markings. With a promised beer check on trail, the hares were off with a 12 minute wait for the pack till we could start. I finally figured out a way to get the Plunger Hashshit on me to run with and was happy that I wouldn’t have to carry it!

I could just see McPisser standing there strategizing about how he was going to tackle this trail. As we all know, McPisser loves a live hared trail with the thought of catching one of the hares. Once the pack was given the okay to take off, we headed in a direction that I have to admit, I can’t remember! There were so many directional changes on this trail, that I had no idea where I was until we found ourselves back on Old Spanish Trail headed towards the MLK Park.

Spotting the walkers, Zoltan and I watched as Menage’ Myself and Heartache took off in the exact direction of the park while the main pack headed back into the neighborhood. Zoltan and I decided to take a chance and follow Menage and realized it was a shortcut that paid off. On down Calhoun we went and found marks as we got closer to MacGregor and the Bayou. We saw Menage turn right in front of the Sorority Houses, but marks were on the other side of the street. We found an arrow as Estrus and L’il Pussy caught up to us. We headed left and could not find marks. About 3-5 minutes later, the rest of the pack caught up to us and realized it was a U-turn arrow.

So to the right we went, in the direction Menage had headed several minutes before us. Zoltan and I found ourselves in the rear of the pack again and soon were headed into the shiggy just off MLK Blvd. We soon ended up on the railroad tracks on Spur 5 headed towards I-45. We caught up to Cockbroker, Just Karen, and Just Calvin. When we came to a check, Sweatlicker was the one who ended up finding marks. Down an alley we went and soon started to realize the marks were farther and farther apart. We just assumed the hares had ran out of flour. Just as we were thinking we had another mile to go, all the sudden we see off in the distance, the hares with a small group of the pack.

What?? How could we be ahead of the main pack? Had everyone already done car backs?? Were we really THAT much slower than the pack?? As we got closer to the street, I could see across the Bayou PP running towards us with several of the other normal FRB’s. Then I see Pussy Checker heading down the sidewalk close to me….and I have to admit…my slow ass picked up speed just so I could say for once I beat PC into the ending. Sad thing is…no one noticed I picked up speed cause my slow ass is just that….SLOW!!

As we stood there talking to Tap Dat Ass, we were told we must have really shortcutted well to come in already. We told her we followed marks all the way in. In our confusion, she told us where true trail was and realized we were WAY off! Oh well….

Once circle got going, all the new boots, re-boots, and visitors were introduced to the pack. As accusations got going, it was soon made known that McPisser had caught the hare while on trail. So they soon admitted that McP helped them lay the rest of the trail.

Heartache was soon called into the circle by our hare Tap Dat Ass for a King Cake accusation. She told us about how when he came in, he found the baby in the cake, attached it to his lanyard, then threw the cake back down without eating it. As the circle laughed at Heartache, I finally realized who I should give the Hashshit to. While it wasn’t the best reason in the world, I never get to see the funny stuff on trail because again…I’m so damn slow! So I walk out into the circle and announced that I’m giving H’ache the hashshit….and was damn happy to be rid of it!

After many more accusations and a keg that was emptied, the ON ON ON location was announced as none other than The Flying Saucer! We headed off with much excitement knowing there was great beer and food in our near future! As we arrive, my friend Just Ashley and I found seats with McPisser and sat down to chat. He told his wild story of how he caught the hares, how Tap Dat Ass fell through the rail road trestle, how he was really a “mystery hare” since he helped to finish laying trail with them….and several other things that I just can’t remember right now!

On On,
8″ Crack