Hares: McPisser, Cums Anyway, Just Karyn, and Just Calvin

More pics taken by McPisser can be found here. If you’re on the H4 Yahoo Group you can view pictures from GladHeAteHer.

It was a perfect day for a hash run, to celebrate the Ides of March hared by McPisser, Cums Anyway, Just Karyn (named later in the day), and Just Calvin. Many togas were on display, some good, some bad, and some ugly.  And even some worn by our canine friends.  Hooterus Billus, doing his best Julius Caesar impression, had a two-minute head start before the rest of the toga-clad pack, plus one gorilla in a Toga departed the Fonde Rec center towards Downtown.

The first part of trail saw us Romans shadowing Buffalo Bayou, before crossing said bayou, and taking a long winding route into downtown proper. We were even greeted by two ducks getting it on with some “hot duck lovin’”, much to the humor, and curiousness, of us all. I heard exclamations like, “So that’s how they do it!” I have no idea as to what brand of cigarettes were smoked afterwards, if she wanted to cuddle, or if he left a fifty on the nightstand.

The pack began to separate as we were running into downtown, and we caught many looks and laughs by the civilian population as they watched all these hashers in togas running around. We wound around downtown to the Chronicle Building, before doing an about face and running back to Discovery Green, where due to checks, back checks, and figuring out the concept of “perpendicular”, saw the pack reform.

Trail took us around Minute Maid Park, and into the Warehouse District, and then finally to a rare, but welcome, beer check. Now it is known why the ancients did their athletics naked. Togas were in need of repair, and of course, yellow beer was consumed.

Off from the beer check, there was not much length left on the trail. We saw more warehouses, a purple bridge across the bayou that looked like a big slide, and more abandoned lots, before trail took us to UH-Downtown and over to Allen’s Landing (the birthplace of Houston), for a very rowdy and interesting circle, where we nearly had a Romans vs. Christians battle.

For us walkers, McPisser gave us a map and told us to make our way to Allen’s Landing. With Can’t Touch This knowing exactly where to go, we took the scenic route, which ended up being a short cut along the bayou.

As we were walking, Stuck on The Bone and I just HAD to use the ladies room. It was decided we should make a Bar Stop at the Brewery Tap. So we arrive, ready to run to the bathroom and what do we find? A locked door!! What the Fu….!! We looked on the door and noticed it opens at 4pm….sweet! It was exactly 3:58pm!! So being the well clad Romans the group was….well, not your scribe….we took pictures in front of the door of our anguish of not being able to get in. Then all the sudden, it was like the Roman Gods looked upon us and we heard the door unlock. A quick dash to the restroom SOTB and I took, and coming out much happier to 2 pitchers of beer for the nearly 9 walkers! A good piss beer and Elissa!! I opted for an Elissa and sat down to chat with our visitor Anal Rose.

Soon our glasses and pitchers were empty and we headed to the ending. As we walked behind Spaghetti Warehouse, we see a church van and kids yelling, “Toga, Toga, Toga”. Okay, that was the beginning of a scary to be circle!

Right as Mama’s Boy was just getting into his rhythm during circle, up comes the group of teenagers from the church van to speak with the homeless man who was enjoying watching our festivities. In true hasher fashion, MB kept the circle going as normal while Can’t Touch This went up and spoke to the kids. I’m guessing she HIGHLY recommended that they leave the immediate area due to the inappropriate things they would hear from us sinners. Anyway….ON ON with the circle!

So accusations led to lame accusations and things got fun when a potential naming came out. Just Karyn, one of our lovely hares for the day was called into the circle by McPisser. He told some story that I can’t remember other than she is always saying Realllllly???? FUCK! So she was therefore named that and I have yet to see how she is spelling it. So hopefully we will see that soon!

I Am Cumstain came out in the circle and called Prickly Pair out. It had something do to with a check. People went out looking and someone yelled at him asking if he saw any marks. He yelled back “NO” and whoever was standing with him said “Dude, you’re standing on a mark!” So IAC rightfully gave the new backpack style hashshit to Prickly Pair! Wear it with pride dude….just take that crazy jacket off you had on in the circle….and NEVER wear those pants you showed me on your I-Phone!! They may blind us all!

Next came the awarding of the best dressed! The females were called into the circle for their stylish Togas. Okay, so this was just a given who would win because of the sheer hilarity of it all! 2 Holes won because of wearing a Gorilla suit under her Toga and was given a BIG ASS bottle of wine. Next came the men. Again, a no brainer here! Ass Grabber was dressed in Camo (sorry Id-10-T, he used your idea) carrying a gun and wearing that thing on his head we won’t mention! He was awarded a 6-pack of good beer and it was quickly taken by his buddies. So fast that he didn’t even get the chance to grab a beer, so one of them gave his up so AG could have one.

So as our wonderful St. Arnolds Spring Bock Beer ran out, we were told to head to The Flying Saucer! Yeahhhhh!!! More good beer! All in all, I think it was a great Ides of March. The rain held off during the trail and much fun was had by all!

ON ON,

8″ Crack (Walkers trail and circle) and Platterpus (Start and true trail write up)