Hares:  Horsefli Drivebi and Pink Slit

So as the hash got 3 days away from Sunday…still with no hare…MM sent out numerous emails BEGGING for someone to step up and be a hero! After my email threatening that if I hared, I would force a two mile straight stretch of road with no checks, I got 2 emails immediately saying they would hare! Yet again, Horsefli Drivebi stepped up to the task of haring another trail after just doing his Virgin Lay 2 weeks before! This time, he had Pink Slit by his side to arrange for beer and food! And it was a good day!

The run started on the far northwest side of Houston near West Rd. and Hollister. The pack slowly started showing up wondering what crazy shiggy HD had in store for us this time. About 3:30, he got chalk talk going and explained that if we found a false, we would also find a circle mark with a deck of cards out on trail. If we found the false, pick up a card and bring to the end. Then he pointed us in the direction of trail and off we went!

Through the small park we went immediately into the woods with a sh*t load of thorns right off the bat! After getting through that small section, we came to an open field and found what would have been a great running trail….had there not been shin deep water all the way through it. As I made my first fall onto my A$$, I just laughed and said “I hope I didn’t just get poison ivy all over my tooshie”….because as everyone knows who did this trail….it was everywhere! Before we left the start, my favorite Colorado Kimchi, Not So Silent Bob and I had decided to stick together throughout the trail. We picked up a third, Old Faithful, and pushed on through the trail.

We came to the open field after coming out of the swamp only to find 2 Holes and Yum Numb Nipples running towards us. They said they ran into McPisser and was told that direction was a false trail. We found more than 3 marks….so we kept going like idiots. Sure enough we found the false, took our card, and turned back around. As we got back to the check, Hooter Bill caught up to us. We now had about 7 people in our small pack in the back and continued on through even more shiggy!

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we found the Beer Near mark and rejoiced! As we walked up to the ending, McPisser made the comment, “It’s about damn time…we can’t start the circle without Bob!!” Which was a good thing actually, because I knew what the hares had in store! The night before the run, Pink Slit, Bob, and I sat around my house talking about fun hashes we’ve done. Next thing I know, the two of them hop in the car and take off. About 30 minutes later they return laughing their A$$es off! What gives I ask?

As the circle got started, I saw PS walking around duct taping bottles of Purple Passion to hashers hands in honor of Bob. This is usually a BIG A$$ bottle on one hand and a big can of beer in the other….also known as the Maracas of Madness to the Kimchi’s. So obviously the normal routine took place…new boots, reboots, visitors (Bob and Yum Numb), etc were called into the circle and made to drink for their sins.

So I don’t remember why….because I was just that tired…..P*ssy Checker and Horsefli Drivebi were tied together for the remainder of the circle. Just Jacob? God I really suck at names….was named that day. Bend A Hole….is that how he’s gonna spell it?? Anyway, HD called those of us with cards out into the circle. As he drew cards out of the deck, if you had that card, you won bottles of Hard Liquor! 2 Holes was called out because of the STD’s….sorry, I mean bug bites she had acquired on trail. You must see Cumstain’s pics for a visual of this! They are NASTY!!! Grind called your scribe into the circle for writing in an email about how bad I needed BEEF….I mean BEER earlier in the week. The life of a single gal!

As you can see, this was a most excellent circle! It’s sad that we will be losing a FANTASTIC RA in just a few short weeks because the recent circles have just been damn fun! Anyway, there is just way too much to go on about that happened….plus I’m tired of typing right now!

ON ON ON was at a local dive, pizza was ordered, several shots of buttery nipple-like shots were done….much laughing….much killing of mosquitos…much more drinking, and drinking, and drinking were done! And we rejoiced!

ON ON!
Your faithful scribe (for just a few more weeks!! Whoohoo!!)
8″ Crack