Hared by Goldiloxxx

In Hooter’s absence, here’s an attempt at hash trash for Goldilock’s rogue Galveston hash:

About a dozen hashers showed up to celebrate Goldilock’s pending departure for the Bahamas Islands. The hounds were Pearl Necklace, Ass Grabber, Vanilla Starfish, Pleather Balls, Santa Claus, Beat My Meat, Really?, F*ck, Dick the Boy Wonder, Just Emily, Pull the Plug, and Platterpuss. Since this was a live hare run, Goldilocks got a 10 minute head start. As soon as the hounds left the parking lot the trail headed into the shiggy along one of the tributaries of Clear Lake. The pack stuck together as we plowed through briars and tall saltgrass in the sweltering heat. We dodged hurricane Ike debris and barbed wire fences before coming to a watercrossing through the most awful smelling mud that I have ever encountered. We sank knee deep into the mud and crotch deep into the black water. As we emerged, one by one, the pack began to spreadout a little bit.

The first two miles were pretty much all shiggy. As FRBs Vanilla Starfish and Platterpuss exited the shiggy and entered a residential street, they caught the hare. So they waited for a few minutes while the rest of the pack caught up with them. Once we were all back together, we stayed pretty bunched up for the rest of the trail. Especially since the checks were harder because the hare didn’t want to be caught again.

Things went smoothly until we neared the Kemah Boardwalk area where our hare erred good judgment and laid the trail through back yard of some unappreciative home owners. As the hounds came through, we were stopped by the Kemah police and warned not to trespass again and to stay off the roads. So we tried to stay on sidewalks until the hare erred good judgment again and laid trail through and around a very crowded boardwalk. The trail led us through the fountain area where a live “Rock the Dock” concert was in progress.

As we exited the Boardwalk and headed toward the marina, we were stopped again by the cops and this time they were REALLY unhappy. They explained to us that it was really stupid to be running through a crowd and throwing down flour, in this day and time. The hounds explained that we were only following trail. The Kemah police officer said that he didn’t care who did it and that we couldn’t leave until it was cleaned up. Goldilocks eventually emerged and admitted that he was the culprit, and he was ordered to clean the boardwalk of all of he flour. So with a broom and bucket of water in hand, he proceeded to clean up the trail, while the hares continued to the end aboard the boat “Iron Maiden” which was moored in the marina.

After Goldilocks finished his clean-up duties, the circle commenced aboard the Iron Maiden. Dick the Boy Wonder and Goldilocks took turns as RA. The accusations were plentiful as we enjoyed the boat and the pleasant surroundings. Several attempts were made to name Just Emily. Chum Bucket and Chum Bait were among the names suggested before the group finally settled on “Thar She Blows”. So she went down as Emily, and came up as “Thar She Blows”.

After the circle ended, stories were told, lies were explained, the perfect breast size was discussed, and suggestions for the upcoming 100th Galveston H3 run were thrown out. Thanks to Goldilocks for the shitty trail and great adventure. Life is good.

On-on
Pull the Plug