Hared by Menage Myself, P*ssy Checker, and ID10T

More of Grind’s pictures from this run can be seen at this link.

Fiestavus for the rest of us!  We met behind the AMC at Willowbrook Plaza on the northwest side of Houston.  As we gathered, the hares emerged with their El Chico mini ponchos and sombreros, in classic Tres Amigo style! 

There was high drama when Hooter Bill was involved in a not-so-high speed chase from the eager cop who was perched at the t!tty bar on the corner.  Seems Hooter absentmindedly rolled through the stop sign, but he was able to talk the policeman out of a ticket.

One of the big attractions, besides our colorful hares, was another kind of hair.  The Houston Roller Derby group recruited a fella with the greatest mohawk ever, and I can’t remember his name… I’ll call him Just Mohawk Guy.  He apparently created it with a vat of Elmer’s glue and a blow dryer, and everyone doubted that it would still be standing by the end of the run in the Houston humidity.

Since I’m still recovering from a sprained ankle, I did the walker’s trail, so Beat My Meat provided a run-down of the trail.

{We headed south where we hit the clear running waters of Greens Bayou.  (It was actually clean and clear.)  After we crossed 249, we had a bayou crossing and then entered the shiggy, following trail laid in Mexican flags.  We crossed 249 again, and the trail went in the shiggy.  Many kept running down the track after who knows what, but they were long gone past the whistle blow.  In the shiggy, we had a small water crossing where we emerged to see the sign of our times… a lot full of old bank signs (see Grind Slut’s photos).  Trail ended under Beltway 8 east of Sam Houston Race Park.}  Thanks, BM2!

Thanks to Grind Slut who served as the professional photographer for the Fiestavus hash.  BM2 said that every time he’d turn a corner, Grind would be there snapping photos like he had found a worm hole into the future of the trail.  It’s nice to have our brand of nonsense documented.  Thanks for your services, Grind Slut! 

The trail end was a covered, pool ending alright… a baby blow up pool full of ice and a butt load of Mexican beers.  Delish and refreshing!  The hares provided the usual snacks, as well as some hella scrumptious homemade tamales.

The circle was full of Fiestavus festivites, although it was a little hard to hear under the freeway.  The first prizes were given to those who found either a maraca or a chili pepper on trail.  Their prize was a coveted bottle of pricey tequila, which looked like citronella oil in a plastic behive bottle.  Classy! 

Coney, or Senior Cornholio, made a rare appearance with a sexy gotee.  He was first given to Grand Master Geek, then given to Will He Peter.  When Geek gave the nod, WHP called Ball Barker and Platterpuss into the circle “muttering” something about them being the only minorities in the group not offended by the Fiestavus theme.  They did a down-down race, and Platterpuss lost… or won Coney, and entertained the circle with a little Coney dancing and shenanigans.

Platter wore the Senior for a long time, and when he finally got the nod from Geek, he chose Carpet Burns.  Coney was as tall as she was, so she had a hard time holding him on her shoulders.  CB got the nod and passed him to Parson’s Nose, and Snatcha ripped his mustache off.  She was awarded Coney immediately, presumably for a mustache ride later… so Coney ended up with Snatcha.  Congrats!

Brave and hearty souls entered the jalapeno eating contest.  Each had to completely eat 5 jalapenos, seeds and all.  Most started strong!  Just Fernando dropped out after one bite… shameful.  The ultra-competitive Grind Slut was plugging away, and my money was on him.  Just Josh, at his second hash, barfed jalapeno into his hand, then ate it again.  (I’m dry heaving just writing about it…)  Just Mohawk Guy was steadily eating and shrugging, a little watery eyed.  Road Kill, who is always up for free food, was in no hurry, and I think he even had a jalapeno left over to share.  Then low and behold, barf boy wins… Just Josh takes home the precious tequila!  We could all imagine the lower ramifications of their actions.  “Please don’t drink the tequila tonight!”  Gurgle! Gurgle!

Hippety hops!!  The hippety hop races were fun, although there were no prizes or clear winners, but everyone wanted to know where the hares bought them. 

As the circle was winding down, Menage Myself entered the circle for a possible naming of Just John.  He explained that there was someone who brought his smokin’ hot sister to his first hash, and from then on, no one remembered his name.  But inevitably, they always ask him where’s his sister, so the name “Where’s Your Sister” was proposed.  It was a hit!  He went down as what’s his name and rose as “Where’s Ur Seester?”  Notice the Mexican theme.

The on-on-on was at Norton’s on 1960, which offered good grub and a decent selection of beers.  Hashers took over their outdoor deck, rearranging furniture and confusing the wait staff.  The Fiestivities continued into the night.  And Just Mohawk Guy’s mohawk was still standing!!!

Stopping heartburn before it starts,
Really? F*@k!