Hared by Gaslight and McPi$$er, with help from Roy Orifice

A far west side hash was laid by McPi$$er and Gaslight in honor of their 15th and 14th hashaversary.  Start time was at 2pm since it was “fall back”, and the weather couldn’t have been better!

Apparently, due to all of the rain, the hares had to change their trail after realizing that the water was over Gaslight’s head.  We were warned during the chalk talk to not go east, as the trail would just end.

The pack was off and crossing the Westpark feeder road.  Cars were stopped to let us pass, and someone wasn’t paying attention.  Everyone heard a loud SCREECH, and then saw smoke, but no accident.

We immediately headed towards the trail on the hill, and the “true trail” arrow pointed straight down to the bog.  The majority of hounds stayed dry, running parallel to the water, but some of us followed true trail and waded through the chest deep murky and cold water.  A couple of roller girls peed in the water, but I guess it went down stream, because it didn’t warm me up.  Trail led back out to the grassy area, then right back into the bog.  Some of us fools followed Heartache back into the water… and as expected, out again into the grass where the rest of the hashers ran high and dry.

It wasn’t long until the pack caught up with each other on the far side of a small lake past a back check that confused us.  Many went to scout for markings.  Are you?!  All we heard was “still looking!”  A handful of us went back to the last mark, and found toilet paper going into the thick shiggy.  Then… the markings disappeared.  We hear “on-on” in the far distance, so we kept trudging through the knee scraping shiggy to the clearing by the ditch.

Down the ditch we ran seeing no marks, but heard an “on-on” to the left.  We saw the group of people gathered in the distance, and walkers coming back towards us.  There was water in between us and the ending, so they were looking for another route.  I went through the water.  About halfway through the bog, I saw that normal people walked around the water on dry land to the ending.  Too late to turn around now.

The on-in was not too far from the start.  Bud Light and Christmas Ale refreshed us after the exasperating run, along with some good snacks and delish chicken provided by Roy Orifice.

The circle was rowdy, as usual.  Virgins and reboots were plentiful, including Thong Long Gone, who hasn’t been out in over a year.

Saran Crap divulged a secret that was told in the strictest hash confidence by Just (Chris) about how his date many moons ago was so drunk that she shat herself on the dancefloor.  Saran Crap proposed the name “Sh*tty Date”.  Some in the circle suggested “Sh*tty Dancer”, so it was put up to a vote.  He went down as Just (Chris), and rose as “Sh*tty Date”.  Congrats!

Just Carly was named at the OTR Halloween Drag Hash Saturday night, so her new name, “Slurpico” was blessed by our RA.  She said she was dressed as Dirty Sanchez, but looked more like Barney Miller or Serpico.  The OTR hash voted for “Barney Feel-Her” or “Slurpico”, and Slurpico won.

The on-on-on was at The Hop House, the fabulous bar with a great wall-o-beer, and since the hash started an hour earlier than normal, all were excited.  But the walk back to the cars McPissed me off!  We were told there were no car backs, and our trek was through a muddy-a$$, thorny, gooky field with a water crossing and extremely steep hill.  Then we realized that some dawdling hashers received a car back from McP.

With thorns in my feet and mud up to there, BM2 and I decided to skip The Hop House and took it to our own on-on-on at the south side Freebirds.  Burritos!

Here is Flaming A**hole’s version of trail. Notice the long straight-away on the feeder road.

View Mc Pisser And Gas Light… in a larger map

And here is “true trail”, as provided by the Heartache.

Remember to register for this year’s Christmas in Vegas party on December 12th for the low, low price of $35 each.  Also, the Full Beaver Moon Hash is Tuesday, November 3rd.

On-on to the Frank & Beans Hash next Sunday with prizes, delicious home brew, yellow pi$$ beer, and more than one d*ck reference!

Your pi$$y on-Sec,
Really? F*@k!