Hared by A$$wipe and Can’t Hound
Say it isn’t so! Can’t Hound will be 70 years old soon, so no more 69 for him! Hopefully, he’s had all he can handle in 70 years, because 69 will never return.
Sunday is a hashing day! The sky was looking dark when we assembled at the warehouse complex on Spikewood, but thankfully, Rain B*tch was there to ward off the rain, at least until later.
Wide-eyed and giddy, a whole gaggle of new boots arrived, eager to see what this “hashing” was all about. Friday night happy hour proved to be fruitful for our hare, A$$wipe, who lured them with free beer and dirty promises. Sinner!
Although we presumed the trail would be live, it was actually pre-laid, and after chalk talk, the hounds were off, across the street and a gully, and through the weeds down the long street. There was either a check or we lost trail at Mesa Road, which was then picked up to the right, then another right. We were making all right turns!
Down the long stretch of railroad tracks, on and on they went… trail took us to the left and through what appeared to be some good, thorny shiggy where a fella was mowing a field. We floundered a bit until he told us that a trail went through the woods “that way”->.
The good, thorny shiggy led us in a circle, back around to the railroad tracks. On-on… and on! Ultimately, we ran through an elephant graveyard construction site, that luckily had a porta-potty for Spot on the Mat, and also for Just Ken, who apparently can’t wag his ween just anywhere!
The on-in was across the bridge from the construction site and down the street from the start. Abita Amber for everyone! A$$wipe served his delicious Nepali garbanzos and the usual hash snacks.
Big Gulp and H*rny H*ooker were visiting from out of town, and Big Gulp’s hash songs were a great addition to the circle! Cum visit often! With the singing expertise of our beloved RA, B*tt Pirate, former beloved RA, Mama’s Boy, and Dick the Boy Wonder, the song service was lovely!
The fashionably late Master Chugger made her grand entrance, decked out in fishnets, running skirt, boa and tap shoes toting her famous penis cake for Can’t Hound’s 70th birthday! The cake was complete with a 70 candle and gray pub*c hair. MC, you rock!
Just Erin, wearing her Tiddies t-shirt, was called out in the circle by Mama’s Boy for saying that her jeans were so wet at a previous hash. Then someone else said that they saw a big hole on trail, and warned her, running in front, to not fall in the big hole… and there she goes. She went down as Just Erin, and she rose as “Big Wet Hole”. Congrats, BWH!!
Before the circle was even warm, the keg was empty! Can’t Hound made a quick B-EE-RR-UN, beer run. In 2 minutes, the beer was gone. Can’t Hound made another quick beer run, and the hounds were satisfied, but hounds are insatiable!
A$$wipe announced that the On-on-on was going to be at the Flying Saucer downtown, with 8 million beers on tap. Budget season and studying for a big exam took BM2 and I to the house for an early night, once again. Hope the on-on-on was everything you ever dreamt it would be, and more!
On-on to Galveston Hash Saturday and 8″ Crack & Ffgawi’s hash Sunday!
Your nerdy scribe,
Really? F*@k!