Hared by Just Jarrod, Chorizo Polizo, and 8″ Crack
Opening weekend of the Houston Rodeo was picture perfect… perfect for the Sunday running of the Houston Hash House Harriers. Our virgin hare, Just Jarrod, was taught how to do it by the older and more experienced 8″ Crack. When we arrived, he looked sore, but very satisfied.
Hares and hounds gathered at the dead end of Buffalo Speedway at West Orem. The sun was shining, but the wind was blowing cowboy hats all over. 8″ gave the chalk talk, with the standard markings, and the pack was off.
Surrounded by delicious, thorny shiggy, the trail led down the street and sidewalk, and for a mile or so through the surrounding neighborhood, much to Heartache’s chagrin. The checks must have been easy, but the FRB’s followed true trail in a loop, which helped some of us DLF’s catch up a bit when they made full circle.
After a few more blocks, we finally entered the shiggy and spotted the beer check. Heartache found a slightly used dirty hoe, and A$$grabber gladly accepted “sloppy seconds” to escort her home. On-on through the soft, mushy grass that soon turned into mud, and eventually water.
Trying to preserve my only pair of pants, I rolled them up through the wettest shiggy. After a while, I was wet up to my girly bits and could fight it no longer. Glad Beats My Meat came prepared with a pair of warmups for me to borrow.
As I suspected, the trail was A to A! Why waste a perfectly good dead end street and no car backs?!! Cold St. Arnolds Elissa and Chorizo Polizo’s hot grub welcomed us on-home… brisket, beans, potato salad, and all of the bread and tortillas that we could eat… and throw. What a treat! Thanks, Chorizo!!
B*tt Pirate led the circle with the usual formalities. .. lots of virgins (10?), a few visitors and reboots, birthdays, and then the voting for best cowboy/cowgirl get-ups. Horsefli and Spin Cycle won for being precious, and I believe D-d-D! won for most obnoxious feminine cowboy hat. I was keeping peoples’ glasses full, so I couldn’t really? pay attention.
8″ Crack told a tale of Just Jarrod being a ninny while laying trail, shouting expletives and complaining about the thorns. She suggested he be named something in reference to Beevis’ Cornholio. He went down as Just Jarrod. He rose as “Thornholio! ” He has TP for his bunghole! Congrats, Jarrod!
Flying tortillas, Batman! Hounds Gone Wild! I understand virgin Just Laura started the tortilla throwing, which turned into thick sliced bread throwing. (She’ll fit in nicely ’round here.) Donnie the Retard cleverly named the event “The Night of the Flying Tortilla”. McP took a bare hiney on the ice for some infraction, and we all pelted him wth bread, followed by 8″ passing out trashbags to pick up the bread. The birds will love us. Leave it.
The on-on-on was at the hidden Hunter’s Pub on Post Oak near the loop, famous for their ordinary beer, shuffleboard and nacho cheese machine. After hares were reimbursed and after watching the heated game of miniature curling with imaginary brooms, BM2 and I grew tired and took it to the house… but not before he nearly laid a big fat wet one on the guy at the door who liked my Irish hat.
On-on to the Brass Monkey hash Saturday and B*tt Pirate’s hash Sunday!
Faithfully,
Really??? F*@k!!! !!