Hares: Heartache, viagra 100mg NARC and Twinkle Toes
Hash Trash #1692
Stumble through Humble Hash
3 hares
10 virgins
126 regular hashers
It has been a while since we had a “Stumble through Humble”, impotent so the hash was excited to take the journey up North East for a fine shaggy hash. In fact the last time that we had a Stumble up there was when we had our “I am Cum Stain” in town. Sure wish that he could make it to the hash. But wait! He is here! It’s a hash miracle. Cum Stain is in town for the Rumble through Humble hash!
The hash met in the Lowe’s parking lot on 1960, very close to Beltway 8. We were gathering up for the start of the hash when, boom! the clouds opened up and soaked us! I borrowed a hat from MOM, Cum-puss borrowed my shoes, and I wondered how much other stuff was borrowed to make hashers comfortable to run in the rain.
About the time for the start of The Stumble, the rain came to a drizzle. Heartache, NARC and Twinkle Toes were our wonderful hares. Heartache announced the trail marked in flour and orange (biodegradable) tape. One dangle for “on”, two dangles for “check”. And even better, no falses! A trail of about five miles was announced. And yes, a yummy beer check would be on trail, advertised to be around the half way point.
Trail had all kinds of wonderful terrain; dirt trails, streams, uneven land, tree roots, utility lines, vines, swampy land, and a much unexpected sandy area. There were a few chances for a little shortcutting, but not a lot. The turkey-eagle split came just in time to allow for the back of the pack to catch up with the front runners. Another fine opportunity for the pack to come together was at the beer check.
One of my favorite checks of the trail was with two pieces of orange tape dangling above an abandoned upside-down car. At this point, I think that the hares also offered a shortcut across a lake, but luckily we found the trail thanks to Pull the Plug. The muddy/swampy area was tough to wade through but knowing that there was good beer at the end made it all worthwhile. Toward the end of the trail there was a clearing that stumped MOM for a long time, but luckily with a few more hashers looking, we found trail. Those sneaky hares had trail continuing on the same path and not going out to the clearing. They fooled us!
Trail ended under a bridge. And here we go again. It seems like we have quite a roll going with NARC having to defend us innocent hashers from the police. NARC said those magic words and made it all fine again. We must be getting awfully comfortable with the law, because while NARC was busy defending us, we had a fairly new hasher walking around with a jug of vodka, pretty ballsy.
As we are gathering up before circle, I also hear rumors that someone was upset for us crossing private property. Sorry, I did not get details on that entire story. I have a feeling that we might upset someone again soon
The hares did us right by providing two kegs of beer, St. Arnold Brown and Lone star. After a couple of carbacks, circle starts. A toast to G. The hares are brought in circle to defend their trail. Ten virgins were made to pay for their crimes. Birthdays, anniversaries, visitors, reboots and we are ready for accusations.
Ewe do Her was called in for an honorary down-down for hosting a hash keg. Digital honored her with a hash necklace. Estrus was called in to tell a story for the hashit and awarded it to Ball Barker, who seemed way too eager to carry the thing. The new hashit is very empty and we can’t wait to see what Ball barker will adorn it with next week.
During circle, we were trying some new songs, a perfect opportunity for McPisser to sell some songbooks. I think by next week, we are ALL going to know the words to ALL the songs. Beer kegs ran out, but a beer run brought back some more cans to keep the fun going a little longer.
The on-on-on was announced as Hoot County, a hash favorite. In usual manner, the waitresses seemed very hash friendly. Hooter was honored by a motorboat from a rather busty waitress that was not wearing undergarments. Hooter medley broke out. Another fun favorite was Saran crap on the stripper pole. Who would have known?
It was a fun night for the hash. On-on to next week’s hash!