Punishment Hash

26-SEPT-10

Punishment Hash

 Hares: Pearl Necklace and Vanilla Starfish

“Mmmmm….This is going to hurt”, said Pearl Necklace as she slid the fishnet hose over her knee and up her sleek thigh. The black knee high boots with the high spike heels were next to go on. Vanilla Starfish giggled, “They will pay”. She pulled the tight leather skirt up her body to position on her hips. Cracking her whip the hariette thought of the pain that she was going to serve that afternoon. “Let’s make them feel real pain”, Pearl said sadistically while she zipped Vanilla’s tight leather bodice.

The two felt a little excitement as they thought of what pleasure they would receive from watching the hounds suffer. “ How shall we start?”, asked Pearl. “Shall we make them drive to the south side of Houston? “. “Oh, no”, replied Vanilla.” Let’s make them drive much farther than that. They were bad hashers.” “OK”, Pearl smirked. “We’ll have them drive to us.”

 And that is how the day began.

Below is the “unofficial”, but now “official” hash trash as told by Pull the Plug.

 On-on,

 Old Faithful

The hares presented “chalk talk” and warned us that we were being punished because no one had stepped up to hare for the run. They let us know that punishment would be severe if we did not follow the rules. The Dominatrix Hares were dressed all in black and carried whips & canes to make their point. They explained that we had all been bad, so we would have to pay. At each check we were instructed to stop and stand on top of the check. We were then required to repeat “thank you Vanilla Starfish, and thank you Pearl Necklace for punishing us.”

So the hash took off and we were very obedient. At least, until the check that required us to run all the way over the Kemah bridge only to find a false. Then we had to run back over the bridge, back to the check and stand there and thank the hares for punishing us. It was pretty hard to thank the hares for such brutal treatment, but we did. If fact some runners felt so guilty that they even went to the Dairy Queen and bought ice cream. Then, they forced themselves to swallow the ice cold concoction as fast as they could until it really hurt and thanked the hares for punishing them.

 The hares assured that the hounds would endure even more punishment by failing to tell us that we might need shiggy armor for some of the false trails. One of the false trails took us onto a narrow path that was totally overgrown with thorns and blackberry vines. Of course we were all cut up and bleeding by the time we realized it was a false trail. So we had to stop and thank the hares for punishing us, then go back through the thorns the opposite direction. It was really cruel treatment. And then, of course, there were no beer checks on trail to help us endure the pain. We just had to thank the hares for punishing us and press on.

After over an hour of punishment, we finally arrived at the end of the run at DTBW’s house. But even more punishment was in store. While the hares drink LonePint IPA, the hounds were forced to drink nasty Natty Light and sit on ice blocks for the most minor infractions. We were threaten with lashes if we left the ice before being given permission. Snacks consisted of stale chips and the most stinky cans of smoked fish. I guess the stinky fish was intended to make sure that no one got kissed after the run. The punishment in the circle finally ended after we had consumed all of the nasty Natty light beer and snacks.

 The On-On-On was at Boondoggles which would normally be too nice for a “punishment” run, but not this time. In fact, it was so bad the hares didn’t even come inside. I think they went to Chelsea’s instead. And then they went home to finish drinking the great LonePint double IPA and laugh about how much they had punished us.

 Thank You Vanilla Starfish

 Thank You Pearl Necklace

 Pull the Plug