16-JAN-11 Tender Marathon Hash Hares: Tender Vittles & Crazy Puppy The hare had yet to be seen. Tender Vittles had made many posts on the Yahoo groups site with promises of a 6 mile trail with two kegs of beer at the end. The hare arrived, remedy threw some marks on the ground for new boots, and then took off. McPisser and Horsefli took the confused looking virgins and did a chalk-talk for them. And with the pack giving the hares the standard 10-ish minutes, they were off. Unfortunately no one saw which direction he went after his check, causing us to mill around within eyesight of our cars. At last, the sound of a solved check and the pack moved across the ditch and over highway 90. Was this the shiggy he spoke of earlier? That hope was dashed as we began to make our way down railroad tracks. We veered right, only to make a sharp left down what can be described as a colorful neighborhood. Passing one group who smelled like they were having a safety meeting, they began to cheer us on as we dashed by. Unfortunately their neighbors weren’t too friendly as the threatened to kick Catcher in the Brown Eye’s a$$. As we leave the colorful neighborhood, we find ourselves on a very, very long straightaway. This continues for about a mile; when we cross finally get back into a little shaggy. But wouldn’t luck have it, that the route that we take after the baseball fields was alongside a fence. And it gets better! sections of the fence had barbwire dropping down to catch the unsuspecting hasher, which it did. We make it out of the fence, when we start running parallel to highway 6. Off in the distance Horsefli was crouching just outside of the bridge laughing as we were running up. He said that he had caught the hare and was just waiting at the beer check. A beer check! Sweet Jebus! Under the bridge were two cases of Budweiser to quench our thirsts. Roller Balls said that we had gone almost 6 miles at that point. And unfortunately this was only the half way point. Eventually part of the middle of the pack begin showing up. Heartache lead the group with the The pack was off again, finding the trail leading into Cullinan Park. Dick Assley decides this straight away is far too boring and decides to find a makeshift spear amongst the trees to harass hashers with. The pack begins to enter the actual trails of the park and quickly bushwhack their way through most of it. We then find ourselves in front of a large ditch, but the FRBs quickly discover the trail heads right. They also quickly learn that the trail made a U-turn and headed back down the other side. Who the Fuck Are You? decided to parallel the FRBs in the hope that he could find a section to crossover. Unfortunately the trail turned right into the woods with great shiggy. This section seemed to separate most of the pack. The FRBs made it out of the shiggy and into the neighborhood. After a check that only stumped them for a short while, they made their way out of there and onto 1464. Tender Vittles was spotted running down the road, but someone had already snared him. The FRBs all caught up with the hare and began to walk with him while he laid trail. They informed him that the trail was already at the 9 mile mark. He said he didn’t think it was that long. Silly metric system! The hare took off again laying trail with the FRBs giving him an ample 2 minutes. After a short walk through the mud field and through the hole leading to yet another neighborhood, we found ourselves going down another long straight away. But this time, the hare was always within sight. And the end was a well received welcome. Many auto-wankers were beginning to wonder what happened to us since we had been gone for over 2 hours. Crazy Puppy was pleading people to go look for the hare. Eventually the pack slowly started coming in. The most grand entrances of all was a shirtless McPisser who was walking like a cartoon character. He used the shirt he was wearing because apparently his balls started chaffing at mile 5.

Guest Hash Trash-

Catcher in the Brown Eye