23-JAN-11

8” Crack Birthday Run

Hares: 8” Crack & Pull the Plug

Hounds: 62

New Boots: 1

Knowing where our hares live, case it was a little surprising for the hash to start on the northeast side of town. We knew that tons of shiggy was inevitable, ailment that is a shiggy-licious part of town. Our “Point A” for the hash was in a familiar parking lot. Some of us remember a recent Houston hash starting there in the recent past, apoplectic as well as a Kouston Hash happening in that same lot.

The hares gave chalk talk and noted that the dead trail was laid in both flour and blue tape.  They showed how the tape marks that would be used for a check would be laid. 

The hares sent us off, starting  across a field. It did not take long for us to find puddles of water; our feet were wet in the first 3 minutes. Trail led us through much shiggy.  We found many downed trees from recent activity.  Following trail was easy after the FRBs passed through. The foot prints in the mud gave them away. Most checks were not too difficult to solve. Although at one check along a vehicle path, we came to a huge opening and the possibilities for trail were infinite. Luckily, the hares were smart enough to have trail come out at far eyesight. That way the back of the pack could see the front of the pack as they came out of the woods. Good thinking, hares.

There were a few small water crossing, nothing hardly above knee deep. Trail ended up being about 4 miles, a nice short length for a Sunday afternoon. For many, this was a welcome relief from Tender Vittles half-marathon-trail from the previous week.  Trail ended at a clearing in the woods, along the vehicle path.

A welcome treat of a keg of Blue Moon Beer and vegetarian chili was there for us at “Point B”.

Circle began with no beer pitcher, so Horsefli asked that we have our vessel charged at all times, ready for entrance to circle, if so called. The hares were honored with a flood of accusations, as they rightly deserved.  8” crack was in the circle again for a birthday, since the hash was in honor of her celebration.

Before the hares were called in, we noticed two beautiful harriettes dressed as a cowboy and Indian. A religious advisor let them tell of what they were up to.  They were promoting costumes for the hash mile, where the Houston Hash would be handing out beer to the r*nners at mile 24(ish).

Roll Model decided to start the accusations then continued to make the next accusation, then the next, then the next.Was this a Roll Model superstar day? Nope, not long til others chimed in and had various accusations of their own. As circle continued, Estrus, Heartache and Pound Puppy make late appearances to the circle, with stories of their trail experiences.

The keg of Blue Moon was on a single tap, and the tap was having problems. McPisser was called to circle for having not one, not two, but three perfectly good uber-taps sitting in his garage.

Second-hash Michael, was called to the circle as we were certain that he must enjoy S&M. Who else would experience his first hash at Tender Vittles miles-of-torture for their first hash, then show up for a second hash the very next week. This young man must really like pain!

As circle was ready to end, our festivities were interrupted by one of the hash dogs carrying an armadillo in its mouth. Was the armadillo dead or alive? I don’t know, but I have never seen that at a hash before.

The on-on-on was announced as being at Hoot County, a hash favorite. Not many vehicles were at the end, some decided to walk back to the start. But Catcher in the Brown Eye had a truck full; we think it was a record number. McPisser even caught a ride on the back bumper. Who knows, maybe he will try to squeeze in one more hasher next time.

Hoot County offered all of the hash regular favorites; a place to play chess, a dart board, pool tables, shuffleboard, oh and yeah-  a stripper pole.  Though no one was stripping, Snatch-a terri-ass made her way, fully clothed, up on the table and found her way around the pole.

Hooter’s favorite waitress gave him chills with her large talents. Hooter was happy, so it was a good hashing day.

On-On to Marathon Hash.

Respectfully submitted,

Old Faithful