Trail 1807 – Spy in the Sky, ampoule Yeast of Burden, Cums Anyway, McPisser Labor Day Weekend Houtx 2012 A.D.

Being that it was labor day weekend I was reallllly hungover but I said to self, “self, get your ass to hashing and everything else is gonna be alright.” Did you just read that last bit in Bob Marley voice? Good. And I’m glad I went because those hares laid such a good trail that no one even sang them the Shitty Trail song! Until later when we realized it at the bar. But that comes later. Let’s go to sooner. So we started off at some school and I’ll leave off the obligatory Whale’s Vagina mention, but he was, and then we darted across a field. Trail laid us to some drainage ditch with a high fence. Lemmings lined up single file to crawl under the fence when FBI hopeful Snatchatarius said why the fuck is everyone being all orderly and shit? And then cut the line. All’s fair in love & hashing bitches! FRB hopeful Fucking Tree Hugger went the opposite route, as in up. Have you ever seen him do his squirrel monkey fence climbing impersonation? It’s quite breathtaking. I think it was DFL hopeful Too Drunk To Fuck who did neither of these routes, as he found a nice big hole

at the other side of the field and strutted on through. The pack was then lead through a cool mix of train tracks, bridges, warehouses that prob shoot pornographic movies, bayous, neighborhoods w yappy dogs, and a fenceline with flags of every single country that is not in the U.N. The ending then supplied the good times that were promised to all: swimming pool, great food (even vegetarian hot dogs, no that’s a real thing), girls in bikinis, and most importantly 3, I will say it again, 3 kegs of kickass beer!!! Thanks be to G! Apparently this wasn’t enough to satisfy young Rancid Asshole as he occupied his time by throwing a hacky sack into the dongs of the hasher men. He’s a dong hater.

Kudos to RA Ramrod for conducting a raucous pool party circle. Everyone was def in their crazy zone. Example: Brrrrrgggggggghhhhh!, Juices Flowing, and Spot On The Matt stood in front of the circle to show off their beautiful bikini bodies…and the wounds that accompanied them. All 3 harriettes had big ol bruises on the backside of their legs suspiciously near their bum bum holes. They all claimed they fell off of separate bicycles at different times but I suspect that some dude that they all know is very violent when he can’t find that spot. Also picture the 3 of them riding a triple bike haha dubblemint gum.

Speaking of: The hash is getting rid of its Ben problem. 1 Ben was named Dubblemint Cum for reasons I couldn’t hear and another Ben was named Asexual Predator for reasons involving not getting any. Congrats you scummies.

Has anyone heard if Krusty Kreme is still alive? He was last seen off to the side giving his blood milk to a tick that he bonded with on trail. He was applying Kreme to it in hopes of suffocating it and then borrowed a flametorch from Spy. That’s the last I’ve heard of him.

And how about that McPisser? The young man turned the big four-oh and we celebrated his ability to deal with his life all these years. Grind Slut presented the dude with a worn dvd copy of School Girl Sluts (don’t google that at work.) Grind’s excuse of giving his treasured smut away was that his teacher wife Gaslight will not allow school themed pornography in their otherwise very accepting household. Everything else is good to go. I think he does $1 rentals too – just call 1-800-GrindBox. Hey another man’s junk is another man’s spunk. Sloppy seconds amirite? But seriously I could go on all day but my Mom wants the computer soon. MOM! MEATLOAF!

I love you,

CREAmonyBAck