We shall call this one Heartache’s Hazmat Hoopla Hash, prostate | or H4 for short because that’s not confusing at all. Keeping with the theme of confusion on the day of the hash Heartache emailed the hash email group frantically asking for his co-hare Just John’s phone #. That’s a good sign right? Well ignoring this factoid the young and the old came from far and wide for a Heartache spectacle. The weather was crispy cool (nipples!) and the local sports team had a victory so all were smiling and ready to get their light jog on. Promises and threats of preemo beer, a turkey eagle split, and walker’s trail were in mind. The anticipation was so heavy in fact that Snatch Trick’s dog Moppet took a nice big s-h-i-t on his tennis ball. He then showed everyone why a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s as she retrieved the ball from his own s-h-i-t. Seizing the opportunity Snatch Trick pimped her dog out with shitty kisses for $1. No takers so we hashed instead.
1st check. What a silly little thing that turned out to be. I’m pretty sure we were meant to be lead into the PI den nearby but too many of us smarties ranged a bit instead. What we came to find was just plain stupefying. About 2 blocks from the check was a B and a N. What’s that spell? I don’t know but it was the end of our day. Psych. The beer was not there so the pack of about 20 decided to stretch out some scabby legs and SDRAWKCAB HSAH.
The numbers of GNISDRAWKCAB SREHSAH began to decline as we disagreed on which direction to run. Amidst the chaos poor little Jizz Hands became our dog bait. Apparently his pork chops look so good that a leashed pit bull the size of a Buick broke its chain in hot pursuit.
The folks who were running the hash in the intended direction had a little drama themselves. A factory worker who was bored off his keister called the 5-0 in to take care of all those anthraxy looking patches of lung poison that Cobra Commander must have left everywhere. HPD called their uncles at Hazmat and it looked like that scene in E.T. Heartache drove up to the bright lights and was apprehended by a lady cop, but not the kind that you hire for private parties. After he plead his innocence she realized he wasn’t smart enough to commit any crimes and let him go. An alternate route had to be freestyled to avoid the “authorities”.
This is taking too long so 2 accusations and then VIP information to follow:
1. Lube Job was being assiced bc of his talkytalky in circle. Rancid Asshole took some peanut butter and wiped it on his butt. Moppet the dog enjoyed licking Lube Job’s ass, and Lube Job liked it too.
2. McPisser got his 450th hash medal. Get a life.
Faaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllll Campout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Fall Campout is coming Nov 2-4.
Details are here: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B4wYVWfyuJSlN1dIN2poenVlVjg
Hare raising!
Hey we need hares for these dates! Step up and do ittttttttttt
10/28/2012
11/18/2012
12/9/2012
On to the On,
creAMONMYBack