Hares: Dry Hose and Lube Job
As I was pulling out of my driveway, I noticed on my car’s thermometer that the temperature was a scorching 101 degrees! I knew this was going to be a miserable day! Driving to the start of the run, which was located at the corner of W. Bellfort and Chimney Rock, my mind pondered on how cruel the hares would be today. I can assure anyone not there that they are in fact demented, and tortured all those in attendance! I guess turning 60 has that effect on men!
A turkey and eagle trail was offered to the hounds, and those of us preferring to walk were told to follow the turkey trail. Now then, I know I’m going to butcher how this trail really went down, so bare with me. I am actually looking at a map to get this as correct as I can!
As we left the parking lot, the pack went ahead of us and very quickly found a check. Everyone spread out, but the majority of the pack ended up on a false trail. Thanks to them, us walkers were spared what I like to call “bonus mileage”. True trail ended up going down W. Bellfort and taking a left into a neighborhood. We passed numerous checks, but thankfully had our eye on the pack up until we see Waterhole Bayou. Having lost the pack, we fell for every single false trail and back check (which was in every direction we went) that the hares had left for us. After about 10 minutes of being lost, Mamma’s Boy finally finds true trail down the left side of the Bayou.
Down the bayou we went and ran into both of our hares driving on Chimney Rock back to the finish. They pointed us in the general direction to go and of course, we still got lost! We finally ran into some of the runners in the back of the pack and ventured off with them to find marks. Trail was supposed to go on down the bayou, but we tried a shortcut and eventually found marks again just before the Turkey/Eagle split. So following the arrow, we crossed the Bayou and ended up in a short patch of shiggy that led us across S. Willow Dr. and onto a path that went around what I would call a pond, where the BN was spotted much to the delight of everyone!
The ending was down a hill next to the muddy “pond” where Grind Slut was spotted swimming in to cool off a bit. Did I mention how insanely HOT it was? So much that we managed to overheat one of our new boots! Shame on the hares!!
After several minutes of everyone trying to cool off and re-hydrate, the circle finally got going. Our hares were called into the circle. Using their “old man walkers”, they slowly made it into the circle where it was declared a shitty trail!!
As re-boots were called into the circle, it has to be noted that Deep Black Hole finally realized she is no longer a transfer, but a permanent part of H4 now! Way to go girl! One of the highlights of the circle was The Pitts’ drinking vessel. I’ve noticed that The Pitts tends to have a fixation on long items in his hand at all times. This vessel was SO long that he was able to fit three koozies on this thing, and glass was still seen above the third one.
Being so hot and tired, for once I can admit shamefully that I just can’t remember many of the accusations. I do remember that Mamma’s Boy was accused of always asking others to start a song. And that I was brought into the circle for picking on Mamma’s Boy when he asked someone AGAIN to start a song.
The beer went quickly during the few accusations, and when we believed all the beer was gone, Ass Grabber saves the day and pulls out 2 gallons of St. Arnold’s Amber leftover from a party for us to drink!
Completely brain dead from the heat, an empty keg, and ready to get into some AC, the hares announced that the ON ON ON was to be at Hunters Club off of S. Post Oak. After much deliberation by Dry Hose and McPisser on how to actually get there, off we went to the land of cool air in the pub.
Several hashers arrived and helped to celebrate Lube Job and Dry Hose’s 60th Birthday! Congrats on making it this far gentlemen! Hope we have several more birthday hash runs with ya!