Hared by PP and Just Mike
The week looked bleek with no hares in sight, but PP and Just Mike swooped in to save the hash! What a beautiful, warm day for a Memorial Park run. Who knew there was that much real shiggy in Memorial Park? The hounds assembled in the Full Moon parking lot at 3:30pm for a 4pm live hared run by PP. Just Mike co-hared his first hash, bringing delicious premium snacks (love the Cheetos) and beer check beer (unfortunately, no beer check), and 8″ Crack supplied the keg of low carb piss beer.
PP was off with his flour squirters, and the pack followed shortly, across the street and into the hella shiggy. Right off the bat, I cracked my head on a tree branch, which left me with a bruised fo-head. The trail, not only the checks, were hard to follow in the thick shiggy between the Memorial Park trails.
The trail, presumably, picked up amongst the Green Ridge Trail, but our pack lost the scent somewhere along the Picnic Loop. We heard the on-on’s and whistles, but they were long gone before we could reach them. With one plop of flour at an entrance into the trails, we pressed on, only to lose trail soon after.
By this point, the trail was a free-for-all. Smelly Trench and I ended up on the main trail that led us to the baseball fields and water hoses. Brady’s B!#ch was parked right there in the Liberty, patiently waiting on PP to end the trail. She pointed the way to the keg around the corner and a good distance away from picnicking families.
While catching our breath and diving into the snacks and beer, we noticed that people were coming in from every direction imaginable. And where the he11 was PP? Did I mention the trail was a free-for-all? Good thing it was in and around the Ho, since most of us are somewhat familiar with the general area.
Hashers slowly trickled in, to the ending of their version of the trail, and eventually, PP found the on-in, too. Time for the circle.
We only had one new boot attend, no visitors, and a handfull of reboots. Krusty Kreme and Snatchaterrya$$ had clever excuses for being away so long, so good that it sounded rehearsed… but it wasn’t. 😉
Of course, PP had to take some heat for no one being able to follow his trail… except maybe Heartache, the purist. Thank you, PP, for laying a trail in a familiar area! Had you not, we did always have the backup plan of running the Expeditionary Hash again, but Memorial Park was so much more conveniently located.
Just David was nearly named “P*$$yfoot” or “Doctor P*$$yfoot”, referring to many moons ago at the Tourette’s Hash when he stopped hash traffic, then very gingerly ran through semi-thorny shiggy. Then someone suggested “Turn your Head & Cough”. And THEN, Road Kill, in his post-hash stupor, was very loudly hollering “Bend Over & Cough”! The hash lost its mind… roaring! Snatcha suggested the Russian version, “Ben Doverandcof”. The naming was tabled, again and again throughout the circle.
Heartache accused Hooter Bill of asking him if he liked big butts, and like clockwork, the a capella version of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s tune radiated through the park. McP and Brady’s B*#ch knew all the words. We even got the “shake it” dance from Easy to Please. Lay off the Red Bull.
There was also a near-naming of Easy to Please’s “roommate”… “14 Carat Ana1”, and after the Baby Got Back serenading, “Rumple Smooth-skin”. I personally dug Rumple Smooth-skin, but the naming was tabled.
The on-on-on was at Jax Grill, but since BM2 and Pull the Plug settled up $$ with the hares before we left the park, we decided to take it to the house. Hope everyone had a great time! (Jax Grill’s) Deck saved the day! Oh, that’s Dick… Either way, ain’t life grand!
On-on to Texas Crab Hash!
Really? F*@k!