The First Anal Asshole Run

Run # 952
April 27th, 1997

Hares: Ass Grabber--Rear Layer--Non-existent--Anus Flytrap

The First Anal Asshole run sponsored by Ass Grabber, Rear Layer, and a ghostly appearance by Anus Goddess Flytrap... Because of the cold, possibly pissy weather, only about 25 to 30 frozen asses turned out while all of the candy asses stayed at home to keep sweet asses from melting or freezing. It is already 3:15 and even Hooter Bill and Geek are here, but where is the Anus Goddess? Yes, Hooter is still trying to give away his million-dollar inventory of old musty, stained "Classic Hash Shirts from Around the World". It is now 3:30 and Heartache is here, but still no Anus Goddess… Maybe she found some Buns of Steel to keep her entertained. By now everyone has frozen their ass off and demanded to start…

Dickhead led the pack out of the blocks (oh shit.. a down-down for using racing terms) for a long boring 10 miles along Old Hempstead Highway only to do a U turn and run 5 more boring miles back along the other side of the same damn road to a check. Trail was found heading across a wet field to another check and into subdivision full of people standing on their lawns wandering where the hell all of the racket is coming from. The trail emerged from the subdivision to a well-laid check, along a drainage ditch, that brought the pack together. Then the miracle of all miracles occurred… yes as unbelievable as it sounds, Geek actually found the real trail along the far side of the ditch… and even grunted, moaned, etc.. ON-ON! Although it was against our better judgement, we had no choice but to follow the Momentarily "FRB Geekster" as it appeared he might actually be on trail..

Trail continued along the ditch for about 5 miles to a water check on 1960 that brought the whole pack together again, before they scattered up and down 1960 looking for trail. While looking for trail, Fed-Ex fell into a hole. Now it is commendable behavior for a hasher to try to get into a hole, but they are suppose to go in head (either big or little) first… and not feet first!! It appears that the boy was guilty of trying to do a "breach fuck". Trail was finally found behind a small plastic wall heading along 1960 for a couple of miles to a check and a boring 25 miles of pavement to a check at the 290 overpass. It was then on through a false trail and On-Home to the beer and Ass Grabbers fartlessly prepared good hot beans.

The circle was mediocre with the normal collection of lame accusations, plus the usual shit… but had not nudity or toe sucking or the exciting stuff! The highlight of the circle was Re-Boot Tammy claiming she had been busy having sex and Molester wishing it had been with him. Molester did get his later… unfortunately for him… it was a Tea Bag out of new shoes for not warning his (or Panty Boys') attractive guest about the pitfalls of wearing new shoes on the HASH. The most notable of the visitors were two dudes from the Brenham hash (Rolling Nutless and Sir Dead Fuck) here to promote Brenhams 222 Bash. Moby (Moldy) Dick was also visiting from Richfield Connecticut and told stories about how they were founded in 1985 and the "damn Yankees" thought they were the only Hash in the US…. Wasn't HHHHHHHH founded in 1979???

Those of us in the circle with frozen asses headed to Mike's Ultimate Sports Bar for the On-On-On. Mike even prepared a bargain priced special BBQ for the "Sunday runners". The real Hashers and the late arriving "Chevrolet Hashing Bimbos" (The KY Bitching Token Virgin with the Vibrating Tits) stayed behind to get thoroughly pissed, pissing contest or something like that.

This shit was dreamed up by Vicar Licker (Cums Daily, I know you do not know who that is) and edited by Dickhead

ON-ON

Receding Hare Line:

UP-CUMMING EVENTS:

S Fran"Gay to Breakers"-May 16-18-$ 99.69 @415-387-5677"Screaming Orgasm"
Camp Hedon-May23-26-$ 69.00 before 5/17@ 770-923-9654 Lynn"Bumper Bullets"
Brenham 222-Lake Sommerville, Tx-May 23-25 call @409-830-0227 "Hot-Line"
Pissburgh 750th-June 5-6-$ 85.00-call: Eric"J-Walker" Begale@412-566-3691 wrk
Rocky Point, Mexico-June 5,7,[email protected]/ph#719-598-1740
Little Rock/Clear Fork-July 11-13 includes "Bare as u Dare"-$ 60.00 before 6/15--call Basil "Blowjob"Julian 501-327-0214 or e-mail [email protected]

Marketing Department:

License plate frames with "I'd Rather Be Hashing" and the little feet can still be bought for $ 5.00. Contact Full Service for a cool hash plate.