A LIVE HASH ON A MONDAY NIGHT, HOW BOLD CAN YOU GET. I RUSHED ACROSS TOWN TO GET TO THE RUN SITE AT THE DESIGNATED 6:30 START TIME ONLY TO HAVE TO HANG AROUND THE CARPARK FOR THIRTY BLOODY MINUTES WAITING FOR "HOOTER" BILL TO SHOW UP. FOR ALL YOU VISITORS, NEW BOOTS, AND TRANSFERS THERE ARE TWO STRICTLY ENFORCED "RULES" (JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THERE WERE NONE) ON THIS HASH. 1) NO HASH STARTS ON TIME AND 2) NO HASH STARTS UNTIL "HOOTER" BILL ARRIVES, WHICH IS THE REASON THEY HAVE RULE NUMBER 1. THE ONLY EXCEPTION YOU WILL SEE TO THIS RULE IS WHEN "BALD EAGLE" SETS A HASH, HE DON’T WAIT FOR NOBODY!

THE HARES WERE RUNNING A BIT LATE THEMSELVES AND WERE SCAMPERING AROUND TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS, I.E. GETTING THE TWO KEGS OF BEER ON ICE. ONCE ICED DOWN AND BACK IN THE TRUCK THEY INSTRUCTED US TO GIVE THEM A 15 MINUTE HEAD START AND OFF THEY WENT. AS THEY TOOK OFF 50 LOST SOULS WERE LEFT STANDING AROUND WONDERING WHAT THE HELL TO DO WITH OUR BAGS. BEFORE PANIC BROKE OUT "LUBE JOB" REAPPEARED TO OPEN HIS TRUCK BACK UP FOR US. IT WAS EASY ENOUGH STUFFING SOME 30 BAGS IN, OVER, AND AROUND THE TWO KEGS IN THE BACK HOWEVER GETTING "BILDO DILDO’S" 48 QT. COOL BOX IN WAS A DIFFERENT STORY. I WAS SOMEHOW VOLUNTEERED TO CRAWL OVER THE TWO ICED DOWN KEGS IN ORDER TO GET TO THE BACK SEAT TO UNLOCK THE DOORS. BALLS SHRIVELED AND STRUCK IN MY THROAT FROM BEING DRUG ACROSS THE ICE, I COMPLETED MY MISSION AND "BILDO" SUCCESSFULLY GOT HIS "BOX" INSIDE. I NEVER DID FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL HE HAD IN IT, I ONLY KNOW I NEVER GOT ANY OF IT.

WITH RELIGIOUS ADVISER, "SLUMBAG", KEEPING CLOSE EYE ON HER WATCH TO ENSURE THE HARES GET THEIR FULL 15 MINUTES THE MOB MADE A MASS EXIT UPON ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WE HAD TWO MINUTES REMAINING. POOR GIRL ALMOST GOT TRAMPLED.

WASN’T HARD TO FIGURE WHICH WAY TO HEAD SINCE WE HAD WATCHED THE HARES TAKE OFF SO IT WAS ON-ON DOWN SOUTH BRAESWOOD. THAT IS FOR MOST OF US, "GEEK" HASHES TO A DIFFERENT DRUMMER THAT WE DO SO WHO KNOWS WHICH WAY HE HEADED. TWO MINUTES INTO THE RUN AND IT ALREADY HAD THE MAKING OF YET ANOTHER "GREAT" CONCRETE JUNGLE HASH. WHEN YOU RUN IN CONCRETE JUNGLE YOU TEND TO HEAR DIFFERENT HASH LINGO. ON A RUN OF THIS NATURE YOUR MORE APT TO HEAR THINGS LIKE... MIND THE VOLVO, OUCH...GOD DAMN THAT CURB, HEY DON’T YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN, DON’T YOU JUST LOVE THOSE BUS FUMES, AND DID YOU CHECK BEHIND THE DUMPSTER. IN COMPARISON YOUR TRUE JUNGLE HASHING CONSIST OF CALLS LIKE MIND THE TRIPS, HOW DEEP IS THIS FUCKING SHIT, MIND THE THORNS, ON IN, MIND THE FIRE ANTS, LOOK OUT FOR THAT SNAKE AND AIN’T THIS FOOKING GREAT!

IT WAS ON DOWN OUR FIRST STREET, MIND THE "FOOKING" CAR......TO OUR FIRST CHECK. CHECK NUMBER ONE SUCCESSFULLY NEGOTIATED. THEN ON DOWN THE NEXT STREET TO THE NEXT CHECK, MIND THE "FOOKING" BUS......CHECK NUMBER TWO NEGOTIATED. ON-ON DOWN ANOTHER STREET TO ANOTHER CHECK, MIND THE "FOOKING" TRUCK......CHECK BUSTED. ON-ON DOWN A STREET WITH A NEAT-"O" CURVE AND TO YES YOU GUESSED IT A CHECK, MIND THE "FOOKING" AMBULANCE......CHECK SOLVED. ON-ON TO THE RAILROAD TRACKS AND ANOTHER CHECK, MIND THE "FOOKING" TRAIN......CHECK BUSTED. ON-ON THROUGH THE APARTMENT COMPLEX AND DOWN THE SIDEWALK, MIND THE "GOD DAMN" BICYCLE......THIS BROUGHT US TO THE BAYOU WHERE WE COULD SEE WHAT ANY HASHER WOULD WANT TO SEE AFTER BEING IN THE CONCRETE JUNGLE FOR 25 MINUTES, "BN". ON ACROSS THE BAYOU THEN LEFT INTO WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE AS THERE WAS NO CONCRETE TO BE FOUND IN THIS 100 METERS OF JUNGLE DELIGHT. A QUICK SPRINT THROUGH A LITTLE SHIGGY, A LOT OF STICKY THINGS THAT DIDN’T WANT TO LET GO OF YOU HAIR, LEGGINGS, SOCKS OR WHATEVER, THEN ON IN TO THE BEER.

NOT A BAD LITTLE HASH CONSIDERING IT WAS SET LIVE. AS YOU KNOW, HARES THAT DO LIVE RUNS ARE GIVEN A GREATER LENIENCY FOR "FOOK-UP’S", SO ALL IS FORGIVEN FOR RUNNING OUT OF FLOUR. THE BEST PART OF THIS HASH FOR ME HAD TO BE THE PLEASURE OF RUNNING JUST BEHIND AND TO THE RIGHT OF "PumP ME" FOR MOST OF THE RUN. HEY WE ALL HAVE TO LOOK FOR SOME GOOD OUT OF EVERY RUN DON’T WE?

AS WE’RE WAITING AROUND FOR "GEEK" TO MAKE HIS WAY BACK, THE HARES TREAT US TO THE USUAL HASH CUISINE OF TORTILLA’S, SALSA, BANANA’S, PEANUT BUTTER, AND CHIPS. THE ADDED TREAT THIS NIGHT INCLUDED VEGGIES WITH RANCH DIP, YUM..YUM, AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. I FOR ONE WAS GLAD TO SEE COOKIES REAPPEAR IN THE MAIN FOOD GROUP AS THAT’S MY FAVORITE SNACK AFTER A HASH.

"SLUMBAG" ROUNDED UP THE MISFITS FOR THE CIRCLE. WE HAD OUR USUAL DOWN-DOWNS FOR NEW BOOTS WHICH INCLUDED A NEW CUMMER WITH SHORT HAIR FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER. MORE DOWN-DOWNS FOR THE TRANSFERS AND THE VISITORS ALONG WITH THE USUAL ZILLION LAME ACCUSATIONS. THE BEST ACCUSATION CAME WHEN IT WAS TOLD THAT UPON BEING RETURNED TO HER CAR AFTER THE AUSTIN HASH "SLUMBAG" WENT INTO A FIT THINKING THAT SOMEBODY HAD BROKEN INTO HER CAR BY BASHING THE WINDOW OUT...WHEN NO GLASS WAS FOUND IT WAS DISCOVERED SHE HAD ACTUALLY LEFT HER WINDOW ROLLED DOWN ALL WEEKEND! WAY TO GO RELIGIOUS ADVISER.

A SMALL TURN OUT AT THE ON-ON-ON WHICH WAS AT SOME DIVE I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THE NAME OF. HOW BAD WAS IT? IT WAS SO BAD EVEN THE HARES DIDN’T SHOW UP!