THEME: BACK TO SCREWLL HASH
RUN #: 966 DATE: AUGUST 3RD, 1997 HARES: PUKE, PUMP ME HARDER & SMELLY TRENCH
| We met behind some long low blue building at the
intersection of Taft and W. Gray (the kind of thing that sticks with you after repeating
it on the Hash line six or seven times) for a prompt 4:00 p.m. start. Various
Hashers were resplendant in their High School garb, particularly Norma Jean in her
crotchless Cheerleader's outfit. Small Johnson was in attendance, visiting from California, and Otis materialized after a several year absence. Rumor has it that he was held hostage in Twist 'n Shouts lair the entire time, and that his asshole - albeit wooden - was nonetheless considerably stretched. I'm referring of course to Otis, not Small Johnson. Rearlayer threw his usual valuable assist with the omnipresent yellow cooler of water. At 4:00 p.m. Hash time, the Hares shouted something unintelligible to the crowd and we were off ! Although in the heart of the beautiful crime-free Montrose
area, the Hares managed to find an assortment of terrain for us to run through.
Winding our way northeast for a while, we soon found ourselves communing with the
residents of the 4th ward. We continued on through downtown, the pack Shuttlecock was way out front due to a couple of successful shortcutting manuevers in the early going, paralleling the pack and avoiding some geographic anomalies that slowed the rest. As we hit the bayou, Mudpacker came on the scene from stage left, and took off in hot pursuit of Shuttle. The race was on. Both of them played it real non'chalant. Yessir, nobody racing here. Just a couple of guys out stretching their legs. But as Mudpacker sprinted off after Shuttle, it was hard not to notice that Shuttle had considerably lengthened his stride (as much as such a thing is physically possible). Incensed, Mud pored it on, overtaking SC near the warehouse district. Victory was his. Overall the run was a mere 40 minutes. The balance of the pack straggled in over the course of the next 15 minutes. The On-On was in the Warehouse District under an overpass. For the circle, Slumbag materialized in a classic pleated skirt and tie, including the mandatory black patent leather shoes, thoughtfully polished to a high gloss for the benefit of her admirers. Norma Jean had inexplicably changed out of the Drill Team outfit. Puke, Smelly Trench and Pump Me Harder awarded bottles of Boone's Farm wine to the best Back-to-school outfits, which was then shared with all. Pump Me accosted several Hashers and taught them a really keen new way to enjoy graham crackers. There was a visitor from Australia and at least two new boots, but - meaculpa - I did not get their names (extraneous Latin for the benefit of Heartache, who enjoys such things; the word "extraneous" is itself extraneous to this passage, and is of Latin origin). We sang ! Genuine Hash songs, led by Grind. Our small group grew from two to ten, with contributions by all in attendance. My favorite part was the obligatory female (Slumbag) flopping on her back during the "Engineer" song, legs flailing in the air and shouting "enough, enough, I'm SATISFIED !", all of which was believeable and quite in character (except for the satisfied part). On On On was at my favorite sports bar, the name of which escapes me. Oh yeah, Brett's. A VLHG (very large Hash group) took over the place, at least 25 in attendance. There were no sporting events, but then, the Hash always brings our fun with us. A good time was had by all. On On Will He Peter ------------------------- BACK-TO-SCHOOL HASH QUIZ: MATCH UP THE HARE OF LAST SUNDAY'S BACK-TO-SCHOOL RUN WITH THE QUOTES WRITTEN BELOW. THERE'S A SIX-PACK OF YOUR FAVORITE BREW FOR THE MOST CORRECT ANSWERS, TO BE AWARDED AT THE CLASSICAL MALAYSIAN STYLE HASH RUN. IN THE GRAND TRADITION OF AMERICAN PEDAGOGY, THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS:
QUOTE
HARE "I was sexually active at age ten, but technically
a "Brenham has high culture". "I did not go to a Catholic school, but found a
willing -------- "I was Patient Zero for the Carnal Tunnel Syndrome". -------- "The Hash is just like my High School". -------- "The inside of my thighs is as firm and smooth as when
I "I worship the ground Dom Deluise walks on". -------- "My Hash name describes me perfectly". -------- "I made a man out of Hooter
Bill".
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