I headed over the bridge across 59 and into the woods.   I managed to first track down the walkers , well I thought it was the walkers, but these people had babies with them.  Turned out to be “Luftschwein” & a transplant “Burning Rubber” (not to be confused with our Houston version of “Burning Rubber”), Wow, those are some hearty women.  I don't think that I was on trail at this point, but I ran down a gravely road and then turned onto a sandy road.  When I came to a clearing I got a little nervous, because that is where I ran into “Geek”.  He was heading north because the last flour that he saw was south of the clearing...go figure.  I headed south along a dirt road and finally heard calls of On On.  Through the woods I saw a flash of red and I really must thank Juna for that red jog bra she was wearing which finally got me back on trail or just ON trail. Unfortunately, Juna, “Smelly Trench”, and “Boy George” were technically not on trail, but they were just sure they were headed in the same general direction as other hashers who might be on trail.  We headed cross country through the woods, and finally ended up on a path where there was flour. Suddenly, there was this blood curdling scream in front of us and when we caught up with the other hashers, found out that “Full Service” came across one of the snakes the hares warned about.  I was told it looked like a re-enactment of the story behind Cumming for to carry me home except the little bastard got away before one of the hash men could get a hold of it and break its neck! 

We were gradually catching up with the main pack as we headed down different dirt trails with lots of checks to keep the pack together.  Then we came across a very confusing mark, it looked like a split arrow with and H pointing us across a small pond or creek and a V pointing down a trail. 

Lots of us took advantage of the opportunity to cool off and headed across the pond, I was only half way across when I saw “Roller Balls” begin doing the Fire Ant War Dance.  I guess the hashers decided that this new land was inhabited by unfriendly natives because they all jumped back in the water and we turned back to the safety of the land we knew.  The pack headed back down the V trail to finally end up back on flour.  (We later found out from the hares that the mark HV was for Hash View.)  I wrongly assumed that the H pointing towards the water was to encourage “Hooter” to take a bath.  We ran down numerous dirt paths and also lots of sandy paths where I bitched that I was not a camel and did not like to run in sand.  “Blue Balls” and “Dumpster Digger” readily agreed...that I was not a camel because my bumps were in the wrong place.  We eventually went thru several water crossings that had this nonslimy green stuff on top, the water was unusually cool, and actually quite refreshing.  We soon ended up on a trail that ran along the San Jacinto River with several opportunities to swim across if one so desired and several hashers did.  Most of us were smart enough to realize that we were close to a favorite On On site and would not need to cross the SJ. Just a few more steps and we were On In under the Hwy 59 bridge over the SJ. What more could any hasher want...a keg of lite, a keg of dark, munchies, stimulating conversation, and the potential to see Juna strip nekkid (its a joke), although instead we were treated to watching “Burning Rubber” strip nekkid (the Houston version, not to be confused with the transplant version). 

The circle was boisterous, the accusations fast and furious, the RA drunk (possibly due to efforts of our hare “Heartache” and his slight of hand). Downdowns were awarded to “Mr. Magoo” for earning his name again, some feminine product thing that I wont go into. I made two traffic loops trying to find the turn for the OnOnOn and then decided maybe it was better to go home.  Great trail, great day.  Special cudoos to the hares for hauling water jugs to the middle of the woods somewhere for a much appreciated water check, maybe next time we can get them to haul a keg!  Your faithful scribe  “Slumbag” 

My apologies to “Big Orange Balls” for yelling at him for taking circle beer when he was only trying to do his reboot down down and made his baby cry.  On On  “Pipes”  Space City RA (Houston)  Hamersley Hash Roving Ambassador   

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