Nipperwood is named after that slim and trim dalmatian Nipper, and he shares the estate with at least two other dogs, two rabbits (one deceased), two horses, half a dozen ducks, several scorpions, an owl, Goes Both Ways and Crack Filler.  Opportunities for bestiality abound here, and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if Goes Both Ways and Crack Filler find some interesting ways to link up with their menagerie when they’re not entertaining hashers.

Among the first hashers to roll in were Tuna Delight and Whore Dog, who noticed a distinct lack of beer on the premises.  This was quickly remedied by Goes Both Ways, who ducked inside the “farmhouse” and returned with a couple of cold ones.  As she did, the rest of the Nipperwood “guests” rolled out of their cribs, including Cums Daily, Manhandler, and Digital Input. More hashers started arriving, and by now the apparent lack of beer was getting serious.  Goes Both Ways’ claim that her “friend the beer lady” was on the way was starting to sound a little hollow.

Beer finally arrived, and so did a lot more hashers.  Nose Candy from Florida even pulled in, trailer in tow, on his way to Las Vegas no less!  Also, a few of Goes Both Ways’ bimbo friends and neighbors showed up, including Rhonda (or was it Monica), who just happened to own the 5,000 acre spread next door that we would be hashing on.  (Or, as Jeff Foxworthy might say, “When your next door neighbor has 5,000 acres, you know you’re a redneck.”)

Speaking of ‘necks, up in this part of Texas they shoot trespassers (unlike certain parts of Houston that we’ve hashed in, where they shoot at you just for the hell of it).  Now this was going to be a point of concern, because as the hounds were giving out instructions we were told that there would be just a little bit of trespassing, but that most of the trail would be confined to the 5,000 acres.

Anyway, the pre-announced 4:30 PM departure time came and went, late hashers continued to straggle in, and by about 5:30 we were ready to start.  The trail started out north along a pipeline right of way that cuts through Nipperwood, and then turned left.  From this point on until the mid-trail beer check, I never saw flour, so all my comments about the trail are second-hand information.  Trail went along the fence line following a cow trail (more bestiality options), over the fence into a dry stream bed, through a field (with a hill no less) up to a dirt road.  

 Suffice it to say that the shiggy was intense.  There were few checks or false trails, but there was no need for them since it was virtually impossible to veer off the trail anyway.  I don’t think anybody came out of this hash without blood on their legs, hands, and arms.  There was also plenty of poison ivy.  Much of the trail had to be hacked from thick, dense undergrowth, but there were a few spots where one could engage in some good open trail running.  The whole trail was mercifully short, and I think most hounds were quite pleased to find themselves at the beer check after only about 30 minutes of hashing.  After the turtle beer check, the trail continued through some fairly dense vegetation, across a stream on a log (where several hashers got wet), across a few more fences, and on back into Nipperwood.

First we circled up and Schlumbag did a fine job as usual of controlling the unruly crowd  Then a degenerate circle led by Roller Balls started.  At that  circle, there was a big fire.  One of the hares cooked up a vast pot of 16 different kinds of beans, and they were delicious.  There was also plenty of dark beer (and lite piss water), and I seem to recall being told the next morning that I had turned in quite early.  With all the animals running around the place, it’s probably just as well that I did.  I do recall, however, hearing a bunch of nude hashers running around my tent at some point.  

After taking a crap behind Ass Grabber in the port-a-can, had Bloody Marys (compliments of the Pitts), donuts, and kolaches before leaving early on Sunday morning so I could go to church. Great hash and great location.  As I suggested to Goes Both Ways on the way out, we should hash at Nipperwood every weekend.

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