 THE SLUT BROTHERS RUN # 982
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1997 VENUE: PONDEROSA OFF BISSONNET HARES: “GRIND SLUT”, “BUMP SLUT”, & “GAS
LIGHT”
Nearly perfect! Perfect weather, trail hard enough to
be fun but not a death march. It wasn’t fifty miles from town, trail A to A. Good
beer, fine dining. One of the nice features about this run was seeing some reboots and
visitors including “Late Cummer”, “Baby Huey”, and “Dick the Boy
Wonder”.
This trail began off Bissonnet at Ponderosa, not far from a
Gentleman’s Club that seemed to be familiar to “Hooter” Bill. At first it
was warehouse streets but soon turned to shiggy. “Pump Me Harder” wisely turned
back at the waist-high pricks, but the fools rushed in where angels feared to hash. We
went through a scrap of woods and southwest behind the auto dealers and RV parks on the
south side of 59. The trail led along Keegan’s Bayou up to a water crossing.
“Smelly Trench” hitchhiked on “Dick the Boy Wonders” back, but
unfortunately she backslid on the wet concrete opposite and got her feet wet anyway. I
sympathized with the case of wet foot, but she remarked, “I didn’t get wet, we
didn’t go in all the way!” If she was referring to her sex life, that
calls for even more sympathy, but I deserve even more. I carried “High
Maintenance” across, she didn’t get wet either, and we didn’t go in even
part of the way.
The next part of the trail led skirted Houston Hills Golf
Club up to a water check under Beltway 8. The pack mostly trespassed into the golf course
until reaching the streets and neighborhoods where we met up with the water-gun snipers.
Turning left onto a newly deepened drainage ditch, we headed north up to the beer near
sign. The sadistic hares had put the home on the far side of Keegan’s Bayou at its
deepest, widest part. Most of us ran a half-mile to the downstream bridge, but “Boy
George” forded the stream. Once we got to the on home, decorated by church parking
and cemetery signs, we went for the custom brewed beer and tabouli.
“Pump Me” got a birthday cake and
candles, which she flamed out with an obviously experienced blow job. “Bildo
Dildo” served as Religious Advisor and doled out the beer and humiliation until we
all headed for BJ’s Sports Bar or “Hooter” Bill’s old haunt, the
high-priced beer joint on Mammary Lane.
About the only disadvantage of this hash was the part of the
trail laid through a golf course. I don’t play golf, but the golfers are entitled to
have their fun without interference from us. So, it’s more sportsmanlike of us to
refrain from running dozens of people across a golf course. There are some places we
shouldn’t lay a trail because it would disturb people who are entitled not to be
bothered. When “Dick Head” got arrested for trespassing in a cemetery last year,
he didn’t vandalize anything or wake up any of the occupants, so the security guard
who arrested him was just being a jerk. But, let's not be jerks ourselves. It’s
inconsiderate to have your fun at the expense of somebody else’s fun. If dozens of
people run across a cultivated field, we’re trampling on somebody’s livelihood.
We shouldn’t fill up a business’s parking lot with our cars while the business
is open or litter anyplace we go I’m not legislating rules here, just asking people
to be considerate.
Your faithful scribe . . . “SILENT DICK” |